


The World You Are Seeking

by DragfallLuard



Series: Rewrite the stars [1]
Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Universe, M/M, Pining, Rating May Change, Slow Build, Slow Burn, tw: depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-01-18 02:43:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 44,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12379233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragfallLuard/pseuds/DragfallLuard
Summary: Post Vanguard G NEXT; Pre Vanguard G ZAfter the U20 championship, life goes back to normal until they get new information about the Diffrider situation. Until then, Kazuma deals with some new feelings that he just realized he had for Chrono and his future. It leads him to feel himself slowly slipping back into his old self.Character study of Kazuma.





	1. Chapter 1

After winning the U20, they fell back into their daily lives. A week after the event, Kazuma woke to his noisy alarm. He groaned as he rolled over on his bed and sleepily reached for his phone that he failed to grab in the first couple of attempts. When he finally managed to do so, he shut off the alarm and sat up, his hand that wasn't holding his phone wiped at his sleep filled eyes. He yawned before getting out of bed. It was a little strange to adapt back to his regular daily life and it wasn't like it was entirely back to normal since he knew there was still the issue with the Diffriders, but for now they were to wait until anything came up.

“Good morning,” he spoke through another yawn to no one in particular since his mom had already left to go to work. He reheated the eggs, fish, and rice she left him from when she made breakfast that morning while he poured himself a glass of orange juice. When he settled down at the table he clapped his hands together quietly and muttered, “Time to eat.”

While he ate his phone vibrated, the screen lighting up with Chrono's name. He opened the message hurriedly, suddenly feeling much more awake than before. _Shindou? We have school today, so I'll see him there. It's rare for him to text me this early..._

SHINDOU CHRONO 7:03 AM  
[ mornin. dont be late. ]

ME 7:03 AM  
[ Morning. I didn't stay up that late. Are you trying to make yourself feel better cause you stayed up studying for that test we have today? I told you, I could help you study. ]

SHINDOU CHRONO 7:04 AM  
[ SHUT UP! I can do it myself aright? ]

ME 7:04 AM  
[ Haha. I'll see you at school then. ]

SHINDOU CHRONO 7:04 AM  
[ see ya ]

Kazuma sighed. Chrono needed to take better care of himself and also just give in and let him help study. Kazuma didn't find the material all that difficult, so he was sure he would be able to help Chrono understand what he was struggling with. He also just wanted to help. Not that he would ever let anyone know that he really did. Chrono's just done so much for him and he feels guilty that he hasn't been able to really return the favor. That and... Kazuma forced a laugh and finished his breakfast shortly after. He went back to his room to get ready after washing the dishes.

–

“Damn, I'm super anxious for those test results!,” Chrono groaned during their lunch period. He and Kazuma sat on a bench outside under a tree near the baseball fields. People didn't usually like to walk out that far for lunch, so it was rather deserted.

“I told you that I could help you study,” Kazuma laughed a bit, as he unpacked his bento. “Why are you so against it?”

“I want to be able to do it myself,” Chrono pouted as he also unpacked his bento. “It's something that I should be able to overcome.”

“It's not bad to ask for help. We're... friends... for a reason,” Kazuma shook his head and quietly said, “Time to eat.”

“Time to eat..,” Chrono mumbled. “I guess I should listen to what Tokoha and Shion tell me more often..”

“And what's that?,” Kazuma asked.

“That I should stop running head first into things alone. It's been this way for a while, but I just can't help it. I usually did things by myself..,” Chrono spoke, pushing around his food with his chopsticks. “I never learn though, haha. I've been friends with them for almost three years now and I still do the same things.”

“It's never to late to change,” Kazuma said, eating his bento slowly. “It took me all this time to have confidence in myself to keep going even if everything seems hopeless. You believed in me no matter what and I couldn't understand why and honestly, I still don't really understand, but it's all thanks to you. If I have to do the same thing for and keep bothering you till you finally decide to rely on me instead of doing everything yourself, then I'll do it.” Kazuma kept his eyes on his bento, processing what he had just said and felt his face start to burn up. With Chrono not responding he felt even more embarrassed. _IDIOT. THAT WAS SUCH A CHEESY THING TO SAY._

“Thanks Kazuma. Really,” Chrono finally spoke up and Kazuma heard a smile in his voice. He looked over at the other who was grinning at him. Kazuma felt his heart beat louder against his chest till Chrono's phone went off.

“Oh shoot. I forgot to turn off my sound. Luckily I haven't gotten any notifications during class,” Chrono said, as he pulled his phone out and turned it to vibrate. “Oh it's Shion.”

Kazuma's mood dropped at the mention of that name. “Oh. What'd he say?”

“Mmm... Looks like he's not busy after school today for once!,” Shindou spoke and his face glowed even brighter. “Finally! I haven't seen him since we sent Tokoha back to France!!” Chrono hummed as he typed back his response and turned his attention back to Kazuma. “Ya wanna hangout with us?”

“No,” Kazuma answered quickly and it must have come out a bit harshly since Chrono gave him a surprised look. “I-I'm.. just busy after school today. I have to run some errands for my mom before she gets home from work.”

“Oh alright. Another time then, okay?,” Chrono immediately shrugged it off and continued to eat his lunch.

Kazuma gripped his chopsticks tightly and nodded. “Yeah.”

–

After school, when they walked towards the entrance, there was a car waiting. The backseat window rolled down to reveal Shion. He had his hair tied back today which was a new look since he always had his hair down. “Chrono, hey!”, he called from the car. Chrono sped up his pace to get there sooner, but Kazuma kept his slower pace, feeling more and more dread as he got closer. Shion opened the door for and stepped out to nudge Chrono's shoulder with his. “And hello to you Shouji. It's been a while.”

“You're telling me? You're the one who's always busy!,” he heard Chrono say.

“I apologize for that,” Shion said with a gentle smile.

“Also, when did you start tying up your hair?,” Chrono pointed out to the other.

“Oh I started last week. It's getting a little long, but I haven't really made time to cut it,” Shion messed with his bangs a little. “Does it look bad?”

“N-no! It actually looks really nice.”

Kazuma wanted to hurl. “Bye, Shindou.”

“Oh, Shouji, you're not joining us?”

“I invited him, but he's actually busy today.”

“That's too bad. We'll see you later then Shouji,” Shion called after him. Kazuma could barely bring himself to wave at them. He did wave, didn't he?

It wasn't till he was already home that he was conscious of the world around him again. _C'mon Kazuma, don't be like this..._ he sighed at himself as he leaned against the door of his house and slid to the ground. The errands were a lie of course, but he didn't want to third wheel those two. He knew. He's always known. Since the first time he met Shion, he knew that Chrono liked him. He never said anything, but he didn't have to. His eyes always lit up like Kazuma's never seen whenever they spoke together and he always seemed a little happier whenever Shion was brought up. Shion seemed the same way. It's not like Kazuma had known that he liked Chrono for that long. He's positive that he's probably liked him for a while, but he only really realized it during the U20 finals. What's worse is that even though Chrono was able to take his feelings and bring the team to victory... He wasn't able to at least give Chrono peace of mind during the final and had to let him down. Everything had mostly been fine after that, but once he realized he liked Chrono, everything felt off, at least for him. Kazumi actually had noticed it and pointed out after their cardfight the other day.

_“It's pretty obvious isn't it? At least maybe it is for me since you're my cute little brother,” the older one teased. Kazuma scoffed at the comment, but felt his face grow warm. “He seems pretty nice. And he's taken care of you for me during the tournament.”_

_“I.. guess so,” Kazuma mumbled._

_“You guys have gotten along for a while. Why don't you tell him?”_

Kazuma sighed heavily. He ended up just telling Kazumi that it wasn't his business and Kazumi dropped the subject when they went out to eat that day. It was just a crush. He's had plenty of them when he was younger. He also had a fleeting infatuation for the pink haired idol Luna until he heard that she and her idol partner Amu were dating. He wasn't about to get in between that. The difference between all of those was that he wasn't really close to any of them. This was the first time he had gotten close to someone and developed feelings for them.

He heard the door start to unlock and that made him jump to his feet. He quickly took off his shoes and got out of the way of the door entrance before his mom opened it. “I'm home—oh Kaz! Did you just get home?,” She asked as she took off her shoes at the entrance as well.

“Yes. I mean no. Well..,” he wanted to hit himself. How long had he sat in the hall?

“Did you just stand in the hallway?,” she questioned.

“I.. Yeah, I did,” Kazuma confessed, looking down at his feet. He felt really stupid.

“Are you feeling alright honey? Do you wanna talk about it?,” she asked as she pet his head. He looked back up at her and nodded. “I'll start on dinner and you can tell me about it then.”

His mom made her way to the kitchen and he followed her. Kazuma naturally tried to close himself off to people and didn't like sharing his feelings and issues with them, but his mom was different. He told her... pretty much everything. She was all he had for a while and she really helped him out of a lot of bad situations when they moved out of the Onimaru household. Now that he's older, he really wondered how she did it when she was definitely having her own struggles. He just supposed that she put on a strong face for him since she was his mom. He wouldn't know what to do without her.

He dropped his bag on the floor next to the table and started to put away the dishes from that morning while his mom began to take out ingredients for dinner. “How does oyakodon sound?”

“Sounds perfect,” Kazuma smiled at her and she smiled back.

“So what's been eating at you Kaz?”

Kazuma sighed as he began to put away the plates. “Don't get all happy and excited okay? I.. like someone.”

“Oh my goodness! Really?! That's, so cute Kaz!!,” his mom laughed a bit. “Is that bad at all? Who is it? Boy or girl?” He had already told her sometime last year that he's probably bisexual or something. He wasn't really sure if there was another term, but he didn't really care about if his partner was a boy or a girl or whatever as like as long as he liked them. His mom embraced him and he cried that night because she was so accepting and supportive.

“No, it's not bad. Not really,” he mumbled. “It's Shindou. The guy on my Vanguard team.”

“He's the one you go to school with right? The one with the cute curly hair?”

“Yeah, that's him,” Kazuma confirmed. Cute? He supposed it was kinda cute.

“You guys must get along really well! Ever since you met him, you've really change Kaz. You've always been open to me, but you were still pretty closed off at times,” she pointed out. “So what's the issue then? Why are you feeling down about it?”

Kazuma could tell by her tone that she had a gut feeling about what it was, but he answered anyway. “He likes someone else. He hasn't told me that directly, but it's so obvious. They've been friends for a few years, but whenever they see each other, they just click so well.”

“Mmm.. But since he hasn't told you himself, you wouldn't know for sure right?”

“I guess not...,” Kazuma sighed as he put the last plate away and sat at the table.

His mom gave him a warm smile when she passed by him. “I say that you shouldn't conclude that until he's said it out loud. You never know.”

“Yeah..,” he replied as she went back to cooking.

After dinner he helped his mom with the dishes and took a shower. After washing up he sat at his desk doing homework for a little while. He was getting tired after a couple hours when his phone went off.

SHINDOU CHRONO 10:36 PM  
[ hey kazuma! I decided to ask shion if he could help me study since he seems to be having a bit more free time in the next few weeks! thx for givin me that pep talk today! ]

Kazuma dropped his phone on the floor and went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks for reading the first chapter!! I just really cry about the lack of KazuChrono content, and I've been wanting to contribute to it for a little while!! I decided I wanna try and delve more into Kazuma's character as well as life with his mom since they don't really mention it. I imagine because he is a really sweet boy that him and his mom have a really close relationship since they've been the only family for each other for so long. So prepare for beautiful son and mother moments~ I'll also tag more characters as the story goes on!! I dunno if my time line for this will be correct at all cause I wanted to place it after NEXT and before Z, but let's just roll with it!!


	2. Chapter 2

Kazuma woke up the next day to his noisy alarm again. Except this time, no matter how many times he grabbed for his phone, he couldn't get it. “WHAT THE HELL?!,” he shouted as he sat up in bed. He glared at his empty nightstand only for his eyes to dart around the room till they settled on his phone blasting the loud alarm on the floor next to his desk. He groaned loudly and flopped back in his bed for a second before he forced himself out of bed to collect his phone and turn off the alarm. He laid back on his bed again to scroll through his notifications and social media. He didn't want to look back at the message Chrono sent him last night. It would only piss him off more.

After a few more minutes, he got himself out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. He and his mom had leftovers from dinner so he just reheated some of it. He sat at the table while it heated and he leaned back in the chair, sighing. Am I cursed to always fall short of where I want to be? He closed his eyes. In Vanguard, he still couldn't beat Kazumi. His relationship to Chrono couldn't even compare to Shion, Tokoha, and Taiyou's relationship with him. Apparently his academics also couldn't compare to Shion since he asked him for study help instead. _Not good enough. Still not good enough. Never good enough. Never ever ever ever ever._ The sound of the microwave finishing pulled him out of his thoughts. _Don't think like this Kazuma. Chrono cares about you. You're one of his closest friends now.... Ugh I'm so tired.._

–

“Kazuma!”

Kazuma blinked a couple of times and looked at his surroundings. He was on the bench near the baseball field and Chrono was sitting next to him with an irritated look. “W-what?”

“Geez, you've been weird all day,” Chrono sighed and exchanged his irritated look with a more worried one. “Did you get sick yesterday?”

Kazuma looked down at his barely touched bento. He didn't feel hungry at all. “I had a bit of a rough night.”

“You? What happened?,” Chrono quirked his head to one side and put a hand on his shoulder. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“No I just.. didn't sleep well,” Kazuma said. He felt a headache coming on. “How was it yesterday? With Kiba?” Kazuma wanted to eat his own foot.

“Maybe you're stressed about school? Hm, well, yesterday was good!,” Chrono soon latched onto that, much to Kazuma's annoyance. He knew he brought it up, but man he just sucked at conversation. “We video chatted with Tokoha, but only for a little since it was almost midnight where she was, but she stayed up cause she wanted to talk to us.”

Kazuma had mixed feelings at the mention of their video chatting. Even though he harbored a lot of jealousy towards Shion's relationship with Chrono, the thought of Chrono still keeping in touch with his good friends despite all being busy with their own lives made him really happy for him. As well as very envious. Kazuma never really had anything like that. After he and his mom were kicked out of the Onimaru household, he stayed distant from most people aside from his mom. Talking wasn't always his strong suit and he just focused on studies so he could hopefully start working as soon as possible to help out his mom. At least he found himself smiling. “That sounds nice. I'm glad all of you were able to talk then.”

“Yeah, but Tokoha is busy. We dunno the next time we'll be able to talk to her, let alone see her,” Chrono's head hung a bit low. “I remember when we all went our separate ways when high school started. I lost a lot of motivation for anything. It felt weird not seeing them almost every day. I realized that I'd become dependent on their company. And not only that, they were doing really well on their own and I just felt stagnant... Oh. Sorry! I.. That's weird, I don't usually bring up that kind of thing,” Chrono put a grin on his face, but Kazuma could tell that it was a bit strained. Despite Shion having more time to offer him, it must just not be the same without Tokoha. Kazuma wondered what that felt like. Sure he befriended a lot of people during U20, but he still felt like Chrono was the only one he had a real connection with. Even Taiyou, with him being so young, he couldn't tell him everything. Kazuma chewed on the inside of his cheek a little. He still didn't really have anyone to talk to even after everything.

“It's alright Shindou. I don't mind,” Kazuma shrugged it off. He wanted to play it off as if it wasn't a big deal, but the fact that Chrono apparently didn't usually bring up this kind of topic made him feel like he was someone Chrono felt comfortable enough to talk to. “But at least now.. you have a goal in mind right? You want to go to Cray.”

“That I do! I just need to keep studying. Thanks to you, I talked to Shion about it and he said that he could get me a tutor to help me out. I usually wouldn't want to accept something like that, but I feel like I should open up my options more,” Chrono explained and Kazuma felt a weight lift from his chest. “So now I have a tutor starting this Thursday, every week to help me out with my studies. Although, there's some restrictions with the tutor since there's a contract or something, so I have to go to his place for it. Luckily, like I said in the text, Shion is free a bit more often, so I'll be able to do the tutoring!”

Kazuma nodded at that. “It's nice that he wants to help you out as much as he can.”

“Yeah. He can be a bit of a stick in the mud at times, but he really pulls through when you need him,” Chrono nodded. “How about you Kazuma? You never really told me about what you would want to do.”

Kazuma frowned down at his food. What did he want to do? He never really thought about it. He was usually too worried about his mom or dissociating from the world that he never really cared about what lied in store for him in the future. Shion was the heir to the Kiba family fortune, Tokoha was going to go pro and she was studying in France, and Chrono was going into science to go into space. All of them had thought out their futures already except for Taiyou, but he was young and had more time than them. “I.. really don't know.”

Chrono just smiled at him. “Hey, that's alright. I'm pretty sure it's normal to not know exactly what you want to do at this point,” Chrono informed him. “I got lucky with finding something I want to do early. You just need to keep searching for... the world you truly desire.”

“Shindou... you did NOT,” Kazuma immediately caught the pun. He had to keep himself from snickering.

“OH I DID!,” Chrono lets out a loud laugh and it's music to Kazuma's ears. He laughs along with the other. His laughter was contagious. After their laughing fit, Chrono pointed his chopsticks at Kazuma's bento, still giggling here and there. “Hey, you've barely eaten any of that.”

“Oh yeah. I wasn't feeling that hungry when we got here, but I'm a bit hungry now,” Kazuma kind of explained himself. The headache he felt earlier was definitely here now. He should've just eaten, but his body refused. “I think I need some headache medicine though.”

“Kazuma, you're hopeless. You've gotta take better care of yourself,” Chrono laughed a bit and looked at him with a warm expression. “When we finish lunch, I have some in my bag in the classroom. Until then, you'll hafta suck it up.”

Kazuma returned his expression with a smile. A real one. “Yeah yeah.”

–

When school let out and Chrono found his way to Kazuma, he immediately asked, “How's your head?”

“Much better. Thanks,” Kazuma replied.

“Good. Ya busy today?,” Chrono inquired.

“Why, what's up?”

“Yesterday, me and Shion actually also ran into Rummy Labyrinth. You know, Luna and Amu. They invited us to hangout today, but Shion has fencing today. I actually meant to ask you last night, but you didn't answer my text and I forgot during lunch,” Chrono explained.

“Oh, sure. I don't really know them very well, but.. What're we doin'?,” Kazuma questioned.

“Apparently a new bakery just opened up and they wanted to check it out. I love sweets, so I'm all about it!,” Chrono answered a bit enthusiastically. Kazuma didn't have a big sweet tooth himself, but seeing Chrono like this was a treat.

“Alright, I'm down,” he said.

“Awesome! I'll text them that we'll meet them!”

–

“Chrono-kun!!,” came a cheerful and familiar voice. The blue and pink haired idol duo walked up to them at the bridge they decided to meet at. Luna was dressed with sunglasses and a big sun hat while the other wore a baseball cap and sunglasses as well. Chrono waved at the two of them with a smile. “And you're Shouji-kun right? I remember you from the U20! How've you been?,” Luna asked him brightly, taking her sunglasses off.

“Ah.. I've been. Fine,” Kazuma blushed a bit. She was still as radiant as ever.

“That's wonderful! Please feel free to call me Luna!! Oh! Also, I don't think you two have ever been introduced!,” Luna moved on excitedly. “This is Amu!”

“Chouno Amu. Please just call me Amu. Nice to meet you,” the blue haired one waved with a delicate smile, also revealing her eyes. They were an intense red and it sent shivers down Kazuma's spine.

“Likewise,” Kazuma managed and looked between the two of them. “What's with the...”

“Oh, well they're idols, y'know,” Chrono chimed in. “So it's easier for them to be out in public without being so easily recognized.”

“Gotcha.”

“Well, are you two ready?!,” Luna asked them eagerly and took Amu's hand. It didn't escape Kazuma's eyes. He glanced down at Chrono's hand, but glanced away just as quick. “I've been waiting for this store to open for a few months now! This is so exciting!! Thanks for coming along you two!”

“It's no problem! Thanks for inviting me and letting me invite Kazuma,” Chrono bowed a little as they began to walk.

“Of course! Shouji-kun was pretty nice when I met him at U20,” Luna smiled at them.

“I also see that he kept the keychain,” Amu added, much to Kazuma's embarrassment. He quickly checked his bag to see that the keychain was indeed peeking from the open part of his bag pocket. He felt himself go red. “That's really sweet of you,” Amu continued to tease.

“Kazuma, do you also listen to their music?,” Chrono wondered curiously. “I only started listening to them when we became friends, but they're the real deal!”

Kazuma turned away from all of their gazes. It was too embarrassing. “K-Kinda.. I listen sometimes.. when I do homework.”

“Aw! Thank you guys so much!!,” Luna said happily. “I'm a really big fan of both of you too though! Your cardfighting skills are just phenomenal! Chrono-kun, you just always get better and better, don't you?”

“S-Stop flattering me..,” Chrono laughed nervously. Kazuma noticed his cheeks flush a light shade of pink. “H-Hey! We're here!!”

Luna immediately dropped the subject to look at the pastry shop in awe. “Ohhh!! Wow, it's so cute Amu!!,” she exclaimed, pulling the other to the windows where a variety of pastries were displayed. They were all decorated in different kinds of pastel coloured frosting and some had sprinkles of many different colours while others were plain. To Kazuma it was a cavity waiting to happen, but when he looked over at Chrono, he could see just how excited the other was to be there. His eyes seemed to sparkle at the sight of the different pastries in the window.

“C'mon c'mon! Let's go inside!!,” Chrono spoke enthusiastically. Him and Luna babbled on and on about the different pastries when they opened the door and to two of them seemed to just drool over the smell that attacked their nostrils. The interior was very pastel. There were racks of different packaged pastries along the wall and a couple of different tables displaying bigger things like cakes that looked beautifully and tediously decorated. The checkout counter was near the back with even more pastries to be admired. Kazuma felt a bit dazed. The different smells were so strong and sweet he kind of felt sick. Not a bad sick. He was just a bit overwhelmed.

“Feeling alright there Shouji-san?,” Amu asked to his right.

“Yeah. I'm just not a big sweets person. The smell is a little much,” Kazuma informed.

“I like sweets enough, but Luna has a big sweet tooth. And apparently so does Chrono-san,” she laughed lightly and Kazuma's heart skipped a beat. Were all idols as sweet as Rummy Labyrinth?

“Amu Amu!!,” Luna called from the other side of the store. “There's some of your favorites here!”

“I'm coming Luna!,” Amu called back to her. “Don't over do it,” she told Kazuma with a wave.

Kazuma took a deep breath and looked around for Chrono. He spotted him at a shelf of macarons and walked over to him. “Find something you like?”

“I think so. Do you want any Kazuma?,” Chrono asked, pointing to the little sweets.

“Eh.. I don't really like sweets. And I've never had macarons before,” Kazuma rubbed his neck.

“They're actually really good!,” Chrono perked up. “You don't really like sweets right? They're not as sweet as cake! Well, some of them are, but others are actually really good without being extremely sweet! I'll pick a couple of them for you since there's a deal going on for six.”

Kazuma's cheeks warmed up and waved his hand. “You don't have to Shindou. I'd feel bad if I didn't like them.”

“If you end up not liking them, then I'll just eat the rest of them,” Chrono grinned at him.

“Uh.. Alright,” Kazuma watched him as he carefully picked out which ones he wanted.

“I should probably get some for Shion too.”

Kazuma chewed on his cheek at that comment, but immediately scolded himself for thinking that way. After they paid, the four of them sat at a table near the front of the store with their pastries and dug in. Luna and Chrono ended up buying.. a lot more than the other two expected. Kazuma was pretty shocked at the amount both of them bought individually. Was that all for themselves?

“Kazuma, here's the macarons I got you,” Chrono smiled, handing him a small box.

“Whoa. These are really fancy... They're pretty pricy aren't they..?,” Kazuma asked, but didn't really care for an answer.

“I usually end up spending a lot on sweets when I get them, so this was nothing,” Chrono told him.

Kazuma looked down at the little box, his cheeks warm. Chrono was like the sun. He always made him feel warm. “Thanks.” While Kazuma started to open his macarons, Chrono and Amu had begun to talk about Vanguard, but he wasn't paying that much attention. The first one was a green colour. He sniffed it and squinted at it. Inside the top of box was a little paper slip with pictures of different macarons on it. He identified the green one as pistachio and took the first bite. _Oh! It's actually good._ He thought to himself. He was usually a fan of anything pistachio anyways since it usually wasn't as sweet as other flavoured things he tried. He munched on the rest of it and took out the other macaron in the box. It was a lighter colour. Something of a light tan or off white and the little slip read that it was almond. He bit into that one and also seemed to enjoy the flavour. Chrono seemed to know his tastes decently well.

“Shouji-kun!,” Luna said to him. He turned to her, sticking the rest of the almond macaron into his mouth. “Could we exchange information? That way, if you ever want to hang out, or even just text, we can do that!”

He swallowed the macaron and nodded. “Ah, sure. Let me...,” Kazuma dug his phone out of his pocket and the two exchanged information.

“Me too Shouji-san,” Amu joined in, also taking out her phone.

“Look at you Kazuma. Making some friends for once,” Chrono smirked at him.

“Shut up Shindou,” Kazuma turned away from him with a pout, but he turned back slightly to tell him, “By the way, the macarons you picked for me were good. Thanks.”

“I'm glad you like them!,” Chrono grinned, resting his chin on the palm of his left hand. “Oh I also got these cookies. They're good! You should try them.” Chrono dug in his bag for a small little biscuit that had some suger sprinkled on the top. It looked awfully sweet, but Kazuma shrugged. It couldn't hurt. “Here!,” Chrono said, reaching to feed Kazuma the cookie.

“Wh-What are you doing Shindou?! I can eat the cookie myself,” Kazuma flinched back a bit, definitely embarrassed, especially with the two idols around.

“It's just a cookie man,” Chrono laughed at him and gave him a sly smile. “Are you chicken just cause I'm feeding it to you?”

“No! It's just.. weird isn't it?”

“It's not! Me and Amu feed each other all the time~,” Luna said as a-matter-of-factly. Amu laughed at her comment, clearly thinking what Kazuma was thinking.

_But that's different Luna.._ Kazuma sighed and rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he muttered, closing his eyes as he opened his mouth for Chrono to feed him the cookie. _It just feels... oddly couple-like._ Kazuma closed his mouth when he felt the cookie on his tongue. It was definitely way too sweet for his liking and he felt his face contort into a slightly disgusted expression, but he chewed and swallowed it.

“Ah, I guess that one was too sweet for you, huh Kazuma?,” Chrono laughed and smiled at him.

“Way too sweet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter guys! I hope they don't seem too out of character. I'm still trying to get the hang of writing again and I'm also rewatching NEXT so I could get their personalities down more. I thought this was a SWEET chapter. I wanna try to expand Kazuma's friend pool while he goes through this, but also touch on his internal battles because even though he's changed and gotten better, you can never really get rid of certain thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

“I'm home!,” he announced to no one in particular since his mom's shoes weren't at the front, indicating that she wasn't home. He toed off his shoes and made his way to his room. As he put his bag down, his phone went off and he saw that it was a message from Amu.

CHOUNO AMU 5:39 PM  
[ I hope you got home safely today Shouji-san! Thanks for joining us today. ]

ME 5:39 PM  
[ No, thank you for letting me come. But yeah, I got home fine. How about you and Luna? ]

CHOUNO AMU 5:40 PM  
[ We did, thanks. (: ]  
[ Also, is it alright if I asked you a question? ]

ME 5:40 PM  
[ Alright. Shoot. ]

CHOUNO AMU 5:40 PM  
[ You like Chrono-san, don't you? ]

Kazuma about threw his phone when he read that message. And he reread it several more times. _AM I THAT OBVIOUS?!_ He thought in a panic. If his brother could tell and Amu could tell, did that mean Chrono could also tell? Did he already know Kazuma had a crush on him? No, he had to calm down. Chrono oblivious to some things. He couldn't know Kazuma liked him. Amidst his internal panic, Kazuma almost didn't notice his phone go off again.

CHOUNO AMU 5:43 PM  
[ Please don't freak out, haha! ]  
[ I highly doubt Chrono-san knows. ]  
[ He's adept at Vanguard, but when it comes to other things, especially like this, it can go right over his head without him ever realizing. ]  
[ Luna had a gut feeling and wanted to ask you about it, but she was worried you would get upset at her for prying. ]  
[ I hope you're not upset. ]

ME 5:47 PM  
[ No, it's alright.]  
[ I do like him. ]

CHOUNO AMU 5:48 PM  
[ That's nice!! Luna's happy for you ^-^ ]  
[ I am too of course! ]

ME 5:48 PM  
[ Thanks I guess? ]

CHOUNO AMU 5:50 PM  
[ ? ]  
[ Not feeling confident? ]

ME 5:51 PM  
[ I … don't really care one way or another. ]

CHOUNO AMU 5:52 PM  
[ Is that so? ]  
[ Are you free to take a call? ]

ME 5:52 PM  
[ Uh? ]  
[ I guess so. ]

Kazuma stared at his phone as he moved to finally sit on his bed and waited for the phone call. It came after a couple of seconds and he answered right away, “H-Hello?”

“Good evening Shouji-san,” came her careful sounding voice. Kazuma didn't want to admit that he really liked the sound of it. It calmed him. Whatever it was about her voice, he wished to hear it more.

“Kazuma.. Is fine,” he said. He preferred that she didn't refer to him so formally. Especially since she told him it was alright to just call her Amu.

“Kazuma then. I'm sorry for calling you. Our conversation just seemed like it was going to start getting important, so doing it over text didn't seem right,” she explained to him. “Is this alright? Or does it bother you? Because if it does, I can hang up now.”

“No, it's fine. I'm just,” Kazuma sighed, not really knowing what to say. Today was the first time they had ever actually held a conversation and now suddenly she knew something he really wasn't planning on telling anyone aside from his brother and mom.

“Before me and Luna started dating, I tried to distance myself from her a bit,” Amu spoke suddenly. Kazuma decided to remain quiet, sensing she was going to share something important. “And I was successful for a while. I didn't want to get her involved in the business I was in, but she ended up forcing herself into it and I almost lost her because of it. I didn't want her to do anything for me, but she so badly wanted to help me because she loves and cares about me. I learned a lot from that and decided, it doesn't hurt to let people in and let them help you. We got to officially meet today Kazuma, but I don't mind becoming closer if you need someone to talk to about anything.”

Kazuma was speechless. She shared something so deep about her relationship although it was still along the lines of vague (but it's not like it was any of his business in the first place). He thought over her words carefully. _It doesn't hurt to let people in and let them help you... I know that.. I do. Don't I?_ Kazuma eventually sighed and spoke, “Why are you doing this?”

The other line was quiet for a moment. Then Amu laughed quietly and hummed, probably thinking of what to say. “Think of it as my way of saying I want to be friends.”

Kazuma considered her words. He was still a little bit confused, but... a part of him felt he could understand. Maybe he and Amu were a little similar. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad to open up to her. “It couldn't hurt I guess.”

“Ahhh, I'm so glad you said that,” Amu said. Her voice sounded relieved and happy. Kazuma felt his chest clench and his cheeks warmed. “Say Kazuma, are you free tomorrow after school?”

“Shindou hasn't bothered me about any plans, so yeah, I'm free,” Kazuma answered.

“We should go get food then. I'd love to talk to you more,” Amu said cheerfully.

“Are you sure it's okay? Aren't you busy with idol stuff or something?,” Kazuma wondered.

“We actually have the week off, so me and Luna are finding things to do. But tomorrow she made plans to go see Enishi-san to help him out with something at the Dark zone,” she told him. “So I decided maybe I could talk to you and hang out with you more. If you don't mind of course.”

“I don't.”

“Alright, then I'll see you tomorrow! Have a good night Kazuma!”

“Good night,” he said before she hung up. Kazuma stared at his phone for a moment longer and flopped back onto his pillow. He was hanging out with Amu tomorrow. He felt.. really good. His thoughts soon wandered back Chrono. He really wanted to know if he had a chance with him. Sure Shion was the 'Perfect Prince' as Taiyou would call him, since he was attractive, good at sports and academics, and was a well renowned Vanguard player. Kazuma tsk'd irritably. _That guy is just.. so much better... And I have a bad personality._ Kazuma ran a hand through his hair with a heavy sigh. This was stupid.

–

“With Amu?,” Chrono asked at lunch the next day. “Wow, you guys hit it off quick! What're you gonna do?”

Kazuma shrugged and looked up at the tree shading them on the usual bench near the baseball field. “She said that she wanted to go get food since Luna's got other plans today.”

“Hmm.. That's good. I'm glad you're friends with her,” Chrono spoke and his tone was meaningful. “She's tiptoed around us before when things got rough between us and sometimes she still does even though everything's patched up.”

“She didn't tell me much. It was all really vague,” Kazuma informed the other and also continued before Chrono could speak. “I don't want to know though. It's personal information between all of you and I don't have any place to pry. Besides, it was all in the past and everything seems to be forgiven, right?”

Chrono blinked a couple times and nodded. “Yeah, that's right!,” he grinned. “I'm happy for you too, y'know. Even though you've gotten a bit closer to Shion, Tokoha, and the others, you're still a bit distant man,” Chrono put his hand on Kazuma's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, demanding Kazuma look at him. And he did. Chrono's brows were knitted together as he looked into those striking green eyes, glossed over with worry. “Don't be afraid to talk to me Kazuma. Honestly. Since U20 ended, I've noticed something different about you. I dunno what, but I can tell you're grumpier than before. Almost like you're reverting to your old self.”

Kazuma clenched a fist to keep himself from taking Chrono's hand in his. “You must be imagining things,” he forced a laugh instead. “I'm fine. We got my brother back. And I have a lot of good friends. There's no way I'd go back to the way I was before.”

Chrono was quiet for a moment before he cracked a smile in return. “Glad to hear that man.”

Kazuma wished he didn't lie to him.

–  
After school, he met with Amu at a nearby cafe. It was quiet and sparsely populated since there were other bigger restaurants around the area that appealed more to the students in these parts. Kazuma knew he didn't actually know much about many of the restaurants and stores anyways since he didn't start going out much until he befriended Chrono. Usually he would make a beeline back home or at least stop by the grocery store. In fact, this was his first time out with a girl who he wasn't dating, too. He felt a little awkward. Especially because they were just sitting there in silence. He was kind of hoping that she would bring something up to talk about, but after they said hello and ordered, they had just kind of sat there in silence. The silence was beginning to kill him. Luckily the server brought them their drinks and food so he could busy himself with that. He took a bite of his sandwich and ended up pulling all the meat out from between the bread much to his dismay, but he heard Amu burst into a fit of giggles soon after. He tore off the piece he was biting into and proceeded to put his sandwich back together. “Ha ha very funny,” he laughed a bit.

“I'm sorry. Really,” she apologized as her giggles died down. “I'm also sorry about this. I'm not always the best at small talk. I was kind of hoping we would find something to talk about more easily.”

“That makes two of us,” Kazuma agreed.

“Did Chrono-san want to hangout?,” she questioned as she sipped her coffee.

“Yeah, but with Kiba, too,” Kazuma said with a shrug. “Since Kiba is a bit more free for a couple weeks or something like that.”

“Ah, naturally he'd also want to hangout with him,” Amu smiled. 

“Hmm.. What do you think of Kiba?,” Kazuma asked out of curiosity.

“Me? Oh. Well..,” he noticed the discomfort she showed when he mentioned it, but she hid it as soon as she began to speak again. “He's very kind. He's definitely serious, but he pulls through when you need him most.”

“So you like him?”

“Of course. He's a friend of mine,” Amu said and gave Kazuma a look. “Do you not like him?”

“No.. Well I mean I do. He's alright,” Kazuma managed and looked down at his food.

“... I really screwed him over before,” Amu started. Kazuma was all ears now. He thought, maybe she figured the fastest way to get him to open up to her was to open up to him first. “My.. my parents got into a bad accident and they're in a coma. It's been that way for so long that I'd give anything for them to get better. I was given an offer I couldn't refuse. The promise of a world with no pain and suffering. A world where my parents wouldn't be in that coma,” Amu's voice cracked a little. He could tell it was hard for her and instinctively put his hand on her's. She looked up at him, her eyes were a bit misty and he squeezed her hand in an attempt to comfort her like Chrono did with him earlier. She made a small smile and continued, “Well, I had met Kiba and I hated him. He was pampered all his life and walked around like the world was so good, but it wasn't. Not to everyone. Not to me. So I resolved to ruin him and I did. I disgraced him in front of his family and many important business and political VIPs. I felt so great about it. Afterwords when Luna was in trouble and I couldn't do anything to help her, I sought out his, Chrono-san's, and Tokoha's help. He refused at first, but eventually gave in just to help Luna. Even after saving Luna, he could have just forgotten about me, but he ended up providing my parents with the best medical care and I just. I couldn't be more grateful to him.”

Amu took a deep breath and squeezed Kazuma's hand back. “It's okay to feel negative things. I've mostly been able to move past everything that's happened, but I have my moments where I feel like I shouldn't even be here. I wonder, what's the point of me staying in this world? Luna is with me through all of it. If I could give anything to get rid of my anxious feelings and my depressive states, I would. Except for Luna, haha..,” she shook her head.

“It doesn't get better does it?,” Kazuma finally spoke. “I thought that now that I had my brother back and that Shindou and everyone else was in my life, it would all just magically go away. It did for a while, but it came back after U20. I don't know why.”

“It just does. It has a knack for sneaking into our brains and making us feel horrible about everything,” Amu sighed. “It sucks but having people help you through it helps a lot. Luna doesn't make it go away, but she at least never leaves me alone with it.”

“I see... Ugh.. Listen. I don't dislike Kiba. He just.. he gets recognition for everything he does. I've spent a lot of my life working so hard and getting no recognition. No one notices. I was basically told, why are you trying to compete when you were born to be a disappointment,” Kazuma spoke quietly and kept his eyes on their connected hands. “When Shindou continued to support me and believe in me, it felt so good. It still feels good, but I just hate that I feel like I'm competing with Kiba. I know I'm not. Shindou is allowed to be friends with him. Hell, he's known him much longer than he's known me. He's not obligated to me, but I've never felt so wanted before. He wanted me on his team. He kept pestering me every time I quit. He never gave up on me. But he's like that with everyone. Is it so bad that I want to have all that attention? To be number one for once?”

Kazuma sniffed and quickly pulled his hand away from Amu's to wipe at his eyes. “Haha.. How lame,” he said wryly. “I'm so selfish.”

“No Kazuma. Your feelings are valid,” Amu reassured him firmly. “I don't know the specifics of what your situation was, but I know enough that what you're feeling is completely normal. We humans are social animals and we crave reassurance and attention. When you're deprived of something and suddenly given a ton of it, you want it more and more.”

It felt.. refreshing to talk to Amu. He was able to get so much off his chest so easily. Was it because she was easy to talk to? Or was he just able to be comfortable with her and trust her with his feelings? The only person he'd ever opened up to this much was his mom. Not even Shindou. Mostly because he didn't want to burden Shindou with his problems since he already had so much on his plate. Piling more issues that have nothing to do with him would make Kazuma feel guilty.

He felt warm, gentle hands on his cheeks and he looked up at ruby red eyes that were surprisingly sweet. “Kazuma, maybe you could try leaning on Chrono-san. I'm positive that he's offered his shoulder to you. Don't be afraid. He offered it for a reason. And who knows? Maybe he does like you. I get the feeling you think he likes Kiba-san, right?”

Kazuma hesitated before he mumbled a gruff, “Yeah.”

“Don't give up so easily. You've only seen them interact when you're not really in the picture,” Amu pointed out. “Why not try hanging out with both of them? Maybe it'll even help to relieve some of that pent up jealousy you have.”

“I guess so..,” Kazuma mumbled.

“Try it out tomorrow!,” Amu suggested.

“Shindou's going over to Kiba's to study tomorrow.”

“Perfect then!! You can talk more with Kiba-san and get to know him,” Amu smiled. “Just give it a try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I went on a writing funk over the weekend and I'm like 10 chapters into this. I'm beta-ing the chapters before I post them, so hopefully they aren't too bad~ I also hope that I'm writing these kids alright?? I dunno I'm just writing for fun and plus it gives me practice with checking my stuff before posting. It's pretty fun!!


	4. Chapter 4

“You sure ya wanna come along? Shion's fine with it, but all I'm doing is being tutored,” Chrono asked Kazuma.

In the end, he decided to take Amu's advice and try getting to know Shion. He didn't feel confident about it at all, but what else could he do? “Yeah I'm fine. I wanna get to know Kiba more anyways. He's one of your closest friends and an old teammate. I think I should get familiar with him.”

Chrono was quiet for a second before he cracked a smile. “That's great Kazuma! I was sure you didn't like him. You were pretty rude to him when you first met and I was gonna rip you a new one, but Shion stopped me.”

“Oh—well that's... Whatever. I'm not very good at talking to new people,” Kazuma huffed and looked the other way.

“Haha! Yeah I know. It's nice to know you're opening up more,” Chrono pushed his shoulder lightly with his own. “Oh, that's our train.”

–

Kazuma stared at the Kiba estate with irritation. He knew Shion was the heir to his family's fortune, but how rich the guy was still made him annoyed. They didn't wait long for the butler to greet them at the entrance and escort them inside. It was just as nice and big inside as it was outside and Kazuma was getting tired of it.

“Ah, Chrono, Shouji! You made it,” Shion welcomed them warmly. His hair was tied up again and he wore a pretty smile. Kazuma tried to control his face and hoped he didn't look annoyed. “The tutor's waiting, Chrono. Follow me. I'll be back shortly Shouji. Iwakura, could you take Shouji to the tea room?”

“Of course young master,” the butler bowed in response as the two took their leave. He gestured towards Kazuma as he began to walk in the other direction. “Please follow me Shouji-san.” Kazuma nodded and followed him throughout the home until they reached what Shion referred to as the tea room. Iwakura bowed to him and said, “What kind of tea would you like?”

“Oh—uh.. Chai? Please,” Kazuma answered awkwardly. The butler bowed again and took his leave. Kazuma looked around the room. It was clean and organized. The table in the center of the room had mats to sit on and a vase with a sakura branch in it. He decided to take a seat there as he was unsure what to do while he waited for either Shion or his butler to return with the tea. _I hope this was a good decision.._ he thought to himself, feeling anxious. What would he even talk with Shion about? The only thing he knows he has in common with him is Vanguard. _Vanguard? Hmm..._

“Sorry for the wait,” came Shion's voice from the door. He joined Kazuma at the table and gave him a smile. “I'm glad you were free today Shouji. I've never really gotten to know you before, so this is nice.”

“Sure..,” Kazuma avoided his gaze.

“Pardon me young master,” the butler returned with a tray of a tea set and a plate of snacks. “I brought you and Shouji-san your tea and some food as well.”

“Thank you Iwakura. You can just leave it on the table,” Shion smiled at him. Iwakura did just that and bowed before exiting again.

Kazuma hated small talk. It always felt awkward and he wanted to eat his foot at the thought of doing it, so he sighed and gave in. “Why don't we have a Vanguard fight? That's the fastest way to get to know someone after all.. Right?”

–

“First check! … Second check! Heal trigger! Power goes to Fides! Third check! Critical trigger! All effects to my Vanguard!!,” Shion attacked with pride. “This is it!!!”

Kazuma gritted his teeth and checked his damage revealing no heal triggers. He glared at the damage and punched the table as hard as he could. He trembled as he clenched his fist. _I'm still weak.. I can't win. I'm so goddamn useless._ “Fuck...,” he whispered harshly as he ran a hand through his hair to try and calm down. _All I got from that fight was that Kiba knows his deck well and knows how to adapt to situations well... And that I'm never going to be able to beat him._

“Shouji,” came the other's voice.

Kazuma glared at him with an aggressive, “HAH?”

Shion was calm and simply stared at him with an even expression. “You're strong Shouji. I already knew that from the U20 tournament, but fighting you myself... I can see why Chrono wanted you on his team.”

Kazuma exhaled through his nose and took several deep breaths before responding. “I'm sorry.”

“It's alright. You don't take loss very well, but it seemed like you were taking it pretty well for a while,” Shion pointed out. Kazuma looked down at his cards, not really sure how to respond, but Shion continued by himself. “Chrono, he.. He gives you really high praise so I was really excited to be able to fight you. I can tell that you're a passionate fighter and you stick it out till the end rather well. I can also tell that you don't like to disappoint. I know that I live a drastically different life from you, but... I can relate to you in that sense.”

Kazuma returned his attention back to Shion and remembered what Amu told him about disgracing him in front of his family and important officials. He felt himself finally calm down his frustration from losing the match and trusted himself to speak again. “It's hard, but I get by.”

“I apologize for anything I've done to upset you. I could tell when we first met that you weren't very fond of me,” Shion said and laughed quietly. “But I would like to get to know you better. Chrono often talks about you. It's fascinating how intrigued he is by you, you know? I've never seen him talk so happily about someone else.”

Kazuma covered his mouth as he felt his face get warm at the comments. _Shindou talks about me to Kiba a lot? That's.. weird._ “I hope he hasn't told you anything embarrassing,” he pouted.

Shion laughed again with a bit more life. “He told me about the time you, him, and Taiyou did that super spicy curry challenge. I would have loved to be a witness to that!”

Kazuma groaned, but eventually started to laugh too. “Well I wasn't the one to pass out in the middle of the challenge. I powered through all of it. Shindou wouldn't have stood a chance if it was a race between the two of us.”

“Well, he does prefer sweet things,” Shion added with a smile.

“Ugh. He does,” Kazuma rolled his eyes. It actually felt nice to talk to Shion. It felt easier than he thought it would be. “Sorry for the way that I've acted.. I'm not really good at talking to people if you didn't notice. I screwed up when I first met Anjou, too.”

“I'm surprised Chrono didn't give you an earful for that.”

“I think he was going to, but I left before he could,” Kazuma confessed.

Just then the door opened to reveal Chrono as he bowed and thanked Shion's butler. “Hey guys! Just finished my lesson,” he smiled at the both of them. “I hope Kazuma wasn't a brat.”

“Shut up!,” Kazuma punched his shoulder when he went over to them.

“Not at all,” Shion smiled back. “We actually just had a cardfight. It's as you said. He's definitely a good fighter. Don't let go of this one Chrono.”

“Don't say it like that. It sounds weird,” Chrono scolded him.

“How was the lesson?,” Kazuma said in an attempt to change the subject.

“Not bad actually! I'm getting the hang of this stuff!,” Chrono answered with a thumbs up. “Thanks a ton Shion. The tutor is really good.”

“It's no problem,” he took his tea that they had almost forgotten and drank some. He also motioned to the cookies on the plate. “Oh yeah, these cookies are pretty sweet. I think you'll like them.”

“Perfect!! I was getting a bit hungry!,” Chrono helped himself to the cookies right away. “Ohhh! They're great!!”

“Help yourself Shouji,” Shion offered.

“No thanks. If Shindou likes it, that means it's too sweet for me,” Kazuma declined.

“They're not nearly as sweet as that cookie I gave you the other day Kazuma, but suit yourself,” Chrono shrugged as he continued to help himself to more cookies.

“After next week the tutor can start going to your place so you aren't obligated to come here each time. Besides, I'll be busy again after next week, so it would be difficult for you to come over,” Shion informed Chrono.

“Thanks for lettin' me know,” Chrono nodded.

They stayed at Shion's place for a couple more hours talking about Vanguard, school, and other casual topics. Kazuma learned that Shion is probably going to participate in the next Olympics as a fencer since he recently missed an opportunity before which was really interesting. He also kept a close eye on how the two of them interacted. Chrono was friendly; he teased Shion constantly, but Shion would bite back rather quickly. The two made easy conversation with each other, but they never forgot about Kazuma. If they began to get on a topic that didn't include him, they would shift it to something else so he could be included. It made Kazuma feel good, but also guilty for harboring negative feelings towards Shion.

However, he still believed that Chrono liked Shion. Shion was charming and pretty. The two of them had good chemistry. He almost felt like an outsider even though they welcomed him easily. As far as he could tell, Chrono never gave a hint of being interested in him romantically. He's had a few people confess to him so he has an idea of how people like to drop hints if they like someone. As they were about to leave the gates, Shion beckoned to Chrono, “Oh wait! I need to talk to you before you go.”

Kazuma felt uneasy, but he shrugged as if he didn't care. “I'll wait for you, but don't take too long. We don't wanna miss the train.”

“Alright,” he said and met back with Shion at the door. Kazuma leaned against the gate as he kept an eye on them. He couldn't hear them, but he could also tell that they were talking rather quietly which made him really want to know what they were talking about. He saw Shion give Chrono a sickeningly sweet smile and pat his cheek to which Chrono seemed to complain about and in the light Kazuma could see a faint blush on his cheeks. Kazuma looked away as his heart clenched painfully. He knew. Of course he knew. It didn't make it hurt any less. _Whatever. It'll be like the others. I'll get over it._

“Hey, Kazuma. We can go,” Chrono spoke, which made him jump a little in surprise.

“Took you long enough,” Kazuma said.

The duo is quiet while they walked to the train, but once they boarded and sat, Chrono struck up a conversation, “You seem a bit more comfortable with Shion.”

“Yeah.. He's alright,” Kazuma shrugged. “At least I now know he's not some snobby rich kid.”

“Well, he's kinda snobby,” Chrono laughed.

Kazuma bit his lip and sighed. “Sorry, I'm a bit curious. What were you guys talking about before we left?”

Chrono immediately went stiff and his face turned red. “OH! Oh y'know, it wasn't important,” he waved him off. “He and Tokoha were teasing me about something the other day and he brought it up again. It was stupid.”

“Hmm..,” Kazuma raised a brow, obviously dissastisfied with that answer. “What was it?”

“D-Does it matter?,” Chrono answered right away.

Kazuma tsk'd and took out his phone. “Guess not..,” he mumbled as he had seemed to open to Amu's messages. He wondered if he should text her about what happened today. There wasn't much to say except for that he was almost positive Chrono and Shion were dating.

“Amu again?,” Chrono noticed and Kazuma gave him a look to which he put his hands up in surrender. “Sorry! I looked over and happened to see. How did yesterday go actually?”

“It was fine. Amu's nice. I feel at ease when I talk to her actually,” Kazuma decided it couldn't hurt to just tell him the truth. “I've been feeling a bit down, and talking to her made me feel somewhat better.”

“That's good, but hey.. You know if you're not feeling good about something you can talk to me..,” Chrono mentioned quietly. “Besides, Amu's dating Luna.”

Kazuma almost crushed his phone at that comment. “Wh-What the hell?? I don't like Amu!! Not like—LIKE THAT!,” he put emphasis on his words. “Besides! I know she's dating Luna!! Anyone could see that!”

“Oh, alright. Just wanted to make sure. You seemed to get along with her pretty quickly,” Chrono said. Then a smirk found its way on his face and he poked Kazuma's shoulder.

“Wh... What's with that look?,” Kazuma said suspiciously.

“Do you like anyone?,” Chrono asked.

This time it was Kazuma's turn to stiffen. _What do I tell him? I didn't expect him to ever ask me... Fuck. Why did he ask me NOW?? Dammit... Do I lie? Do I tell him that I do like someone? He avoided answering me fully earlier, so I could get away with it too right? What do I say... WHAT DO I SAY??_ Kazuma was panicking internally. He swallowed nervously and his heart was beating loudly. “Yeah.” _FUCK._

“Oh for real?! Is it someone I know?,” Chrono pressed.

“N-No..,” Kazuma could barely find words to say. He kept his eyes on the ground since he felt if he looked at Chrono he would immediately fall apart. “Someone.. from school in a different class.”

“Oh... Yeah, I don't really know anyone at school save for people in my class, you, and Kumi,” Chrono said.

“Yeah.. Well what about you? Do YOU have anyone you like?,” Kazuma countered. He braced himself.

“Uh.. I never thought about it a lot to be honest, but maybe?,” Chrono tapped his finger on his chin.

“Maybe?”

“I don't know really..,” Chrono sighed. “I'm not good with this kind of thing. Still trying to figure it out myself I suppose... Do you think it's weird to like a guy?”

Kazuma flinched at the question. “Might I remind you that Luna and Amu are dating..”

“Ah! I know. I'm fully supportive. I just.. ,” Chrono trailed off.

“... I'm bi Shindou,” Kazuma told him. He didn't need to look at him to know Chrono was surprised. The silence was enough and it was killing him.


	5. Chapter 5

Kazuma felt sick when he flopped on his bed that night. The trained arrived at their stop shortly after and he dissociated. He vaguely remembered Chrono asking him questions, but he couldn't decipher any of them. When he got home, his phone went off several times, but he didn't bother to look. In fact he got up, turned it off, and put it in his desk drawer. Then he took his clock and turned the alarm on it for once.

The next morning he woke up and hour before his clock's alarm, but he felt miserable and couldn't fall back asleep. He ended up turning off the alarm and got up to retrieve his phone from his desk and turned it back on as he crawled back underneath his covers. He had A TON of messages from Chrono and he felt bad, but he also didn't want to read them.... He read them anyways.

SHINDOU CHRONO 9:57 PM  
[ Kazuma? ]  
[ were you okay last night? ]  
[ I was.. tryin to talk to you but you barely said a word... ]  
[ I thought you were ignorin me but you just seemed.. ]  
[ I dunno really out of it? ]  
[ like in case you didnt hear me its fine if youre bi kazuma ]  
[ like you said luna and amu are dating and its completely fine! ]  
[ ive never thought it was weird to like guys. I was just curious about what you thought ]  
[ … ]  
[ ill talk to you tomorrow then ]  
[ gnight ]

Kazuma hates when he dissociates... And he really didn't want to face Chrono after last night, but he wasn't going to skip school for something ridiculous like this. When he got to school he really really wanted to just avoid Chrono all day, but doing that would be way too obvious, so he just went with it and that's how he ended up sitting together with him during lunch at their usual spot, but both of them hadn't said a word to each other except for 'hey'. Kazuma busied himself as best he could with his food, but he almost didn't even feel hungry. Nerves ate at him and he just felt like disappearing.

“Kazuma,” Chrono finally spoke and Kazuma almost broke his chopsticks. “Hey look at me.”

_Anything but that.._ He swallowed, but eventually made himself look at the other. Chrono had a serious expression and he really wanted to look away, but he knew Chrono wouldn't stop till he listened.

“I dunno if you read my texts, but I'll say it again and I'll say it a million times. It's fine if you're bi,” Chrono told him firmly. “Honestly, I don't even know what my sexuality is.. I've never really thought about it. No one was ever really interested in me, but I was never interested in anyone either, so I never paid any mind to it.”

“Thanks Shindou. Last night was.. weird. I don't know what got into me.,” Kazuma exhaled shakily. “I just care about what you think a lot I guess. Losing you would hurt..”

Chrono took his hand and Kazuma looked at it then at Chrono's face which was focused on him. “I'm not going anywhere Kazuma. You don't have to be alone anymore.”

He swallowed audibly as he took in the other's features. Chrono's eyes were serious, but also so gentle and kind. He had some dark circles which were probably from staying up late doing homework. He was such a hard worker. His lips were wet. He was eating lunch up till now so he probably licked them clean. They looked so soft. Kazuma's dated people before. He's kissed them, had a taste of them, but he never really felt anything. He mostly agreed to date them cause he didn't dislike them and assumed that maybe he would come to like them more as they were together. Sometimes he did end up liking them a bit, but never enough to really want to continue the relationship. There was one person he did date that he actually liked back. They ended up getting into an argument and they never spoke since.

He thought back to Chrono. They've gotten into arguments plenty of times. Kazuma knew with his bad personality that they would continue to get into more.. What if it escalated like the day they punched each other? Kazuma feared losing him. He pulled his hand and turned away from the other. His face was hot. His heart was beating painfully in his chest. He really liked Chrono. He wanted to hold him. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted him so badly. But he didn't want to take a chance with this one. He wanted to be sure.

“Kazuma?”

“Y-Yeah..?”

“Are you alright? You can tell me anything.”

Kazuma stared hard at the ground and shook his head. “I'm not alright.. I've been feeling horrible lately. I thought that.. ever since I met you I wouldn't feel this way anymore. I thought that if I fixed my relationship with my brother I would feel so much better. I mean.. I do feel better, but,” Kazuma hid his face in his hands. “Why won't it go away Shindou? I don't understand why I can't just be happy...”

He felt arms around him and that was it. He felt tears escape his eyes and he didn't even try to stop it. He wiped at his tears as he sobbed with the other boy holding him. Chrono didn't speak, but Kazuma's glad he didn't. It was like a quiet understanding. Yeah. It was okay if Chrono didn't like him the way he liked him right? As long as he never left him alone, that would be enough. It would be enough.

–

Chrono ended up taking Kazuma to the infirmary to rest and kept asking him if he needed anything before Kazuma finally got a little tired of his coddling and made him go back to class. He laid in bed, not really thinking of anything in particular till he decided to take out his phone and text Amu.

ME 1:46 PM  
[ I cried on him. That must be some improvement. ]

He didn't expect her to answer for a while, but she did within a few minutes.

CHOUNO AMU 1:50 PM  
[ Oh... did he reject you? ]

ME 1:50 PM  
[ Ah I didn't tell him I liked him. ]  
[ I just told him how I've been feeling lately and he just kinda held me. ]

CHOUNO AMU 1:51 PM  
[ Well, that's good Kazuma! ^-^ ]

ME 1:51 PM  
[ I also ended up hanging out with him and Kiba last night and it wasn't bad. ]  
[ Turns out he doesn't really know if he likes anyone right now. It's.. a little frustrating. ]  
[ But he told me that he's never really thought about it before, so.. maybe?

CHOUNO AMU 1:54 PM  
[ That's a solid maybe that you could work with, but do you feel better? ]

ME 1:55 PM  
[ It felt nice knowing he was there. ]

CHOUNO AMU 1:55 PM  
[ Good. Also, aren't you in class right now? o: ]

ME 1:56 PM  
[ Oh yeah, he took me to the infirmary to rest. I guess I should be getting back to class though. ]

CHOUNO AMU 1:57 PM  
[ Go do that. Get good grades. Be a good student. ]

ME 1:57 PM  
[ Yes ma'am. ]

–

Kazuma put his shoes away in his locker and turned to leave when he heard that familiar voice call out, “Kazuma!!” He looked in the direction of the voice and saw Chrono jog over to him. “Hey, are you busy?”

“No, why?”

“Do you wanna hangout?,” Chrono grinned as they began to walk together as usual.

“Sure. Whatcha wanna do?”

“I was thinking we could just go to my place and I could make dinner or something,” Chrono played with his bangs as he suggested his plans. “And we could cardfight or something. It's a Friday, so we have tomorrow off y'know.”

“Sounds fine with me. Maybe I could even help you study,” Kazuma smirked at him, nudging his shoulder.

“Hey! I think I can do without studying! We don't have any tests next week!,” Chrono assured him in a huffy voice.

Kazuma just laughed. It was genuine. He liked that Chrono didn't bring up lunch time. He liked that it felt normal and casual. He liked that Chrono still reached out to him. He liked Chrono. He definitely liked him a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween guys!! Not a Halloween-y chapter, but decided to update. I'm several chapters ahead luckily cuz I'M SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL. Ahhhh!!


	6. Chapter 6

“Pardon the intrusion,” Kazuma said as he walked into Chrono's place and took off his shoes.

“Mikuru-san's at work still. She doesn't come back till late on Friday nights sometimes cause she usually goes out with her coworkers,” Chrono explained to him and set his bag on the kitchen counter while Kazuma made his way to the dining table and place his bag on the floor next to it as he took a seat. “Is chicken curry alright? I was already planning on making some tonight so,” Chrono asked him as he took off his blazer and rolled up his sleeves.

“Depends how spicy.”

“Not as spicy as that curry place Taiyou took us to.”

“Then I'm all for it.”

Chrono busied himself in the kitchen and Kazuma made himself comfortable by also taking off his blazer. He settled in his seat a bit, scrolling through social media on his phone, but grew bored of it quickly. “Do you need any help?”

“Hmm, not really, but if you wanna set up the table, that would be cool.”

“Anything that doesn't have me just sitting awkwardly in your home while you do all the work,” Kazuma told him with a shrug as he stood up and walked into the kitchen. “Where is everything actually?”

“Oh yeah. Cups are in that cupboard and the plates are in the one next to it,” Chrono pointed out by opening them. “And the silverware is in the drawer under the microwave.”

Kazuma grabbed things one at a time, mostly not to break anything, but also so he could give himself more time doing something. After the table was set he went back into the kitchen and leaned against the fridge. “Anything else?”

“Uh, how are you with a knife? Can you cut some potatoes and carrots?,” Chrono smiled. “I already peeled and washed them, so they just need to be cut.”

“I guess so,” Kazuma walked over and Chrono instructed him on how to cut them properly. Kazuma took over and did it much slower than Chrono did, but at least they didn't come out too funky. He never cooked anything really intricate. Just some basic things that he would be able to make if his mom was too tired to cook. He began to feel bad that he never tried to pick up cooking more seriously so his mom could have a break. “By the way, I didn't know you could cook.”

“Oh yeah. I picked it up as soon as I started living with Mikuru-san. I didn't want to be a burden to her because she was also young and already struggling to provide for herself. The least I could do was have food on the table for her when she got back from work,” Chrono explained to him easily. Kazuma listened intently and also realized that he didn't really know much about Chrono's past. Not that it was any of his business, but he couldn't help his curiosity.

“So Mikuru-san is your guardian?”

“Yeah, she's my aunt. I lived at an orphanage for a lot of my younger years because she was too young to be able to take me in, but as soon as she was able to, she did,” Chrono answered. “Now that I think about it, I spent a lot of time avoiding her. I went out of my way to do things by myself because I didn't know if I had a purpose at all and kind of went through life not really caring what happened as long as I didn't bother anyone with my existing.” Kazuma bit his lip, feeling bad for even asking, but he heard Chrono laugh. “It's not a big deal. I've grown from it. I've found something I want to do and I'm surrounded by good friends like you.”

“Oh. Yeah, of course,” he laughed as well. “Can't have you crying and moping anyways. I would've never tolerated you as the leader of Team Striders if all you did was cry.”

“Hey at least I didn't brood all the time!,” Chrono shot back lightheartedly. “I can't believe you decked me in the face that one time. I was so pissed off at you man.”

“You pissed me off too, haha! But I'm surprised. Your punch was actually pretty hard for a scrawny guy like you,” Kazuma gave him a smirk and Chrono growled.

“Shut up. I'm not that scrawny,” Chrono huffed. They were quiet for a moment then started laughing. They talked about anything while they continued to cook together. If it seemed too domestic, Kazuma didn't care. It was fun doing something casual aside from school work and Vanguard.

–

“Thanks for the meal,” Kazuma put the chopsticks on his plate once he finished eating. “It was delicious.”

“I'm glad to hear ya say that,” Chrono smiled as he collected the dishes and rinsed them before putting them in the dishwasher. The two of them made their way to the living room and settled on opposite sides of the couch. They turned Netflix to some drama that was on Mikuru's watch list. Surprisingly, they both got rather absorbed in it.

“Ahhh!! AAAAAHHHH!!!!! THEY KISSED!! THEY KISSED ALREADY KAZUMA!!,” Chrono cried as he kicked Kazuma on the other side of the couch.

“OW OW!! I KNOW! STOP KICKING ME!!,” Kazuma shouted back and grabbed Chrono's leg to stop it from harming him further.

“Kazumaaa!! It's only episode two and they kissed!!! HE THINKS SHE'S A DUDE THOUGH KAZUMAAAAA!!!,” Chrono continued to cry. He reached over to Kazuma and started shaking him.

“SHUT UP AND WATCH SHINDOU!!”, Kazuma struggled with the other who got in the way of the TV. “H-hey, stop!!,” Kazuma exclaimed as he fell into the other's lap. He got up almost right away. “Sorry.”

“You could lay your head on my lap if you want,” Chrono said unexpectedly.

Kazuma's face heated up faster than it ever had before and he was at a loss for words. “W-What—”

“I wanna try something,” Chrono told him seriously, his green eyes looking directly into his grey ones. Kazuma wanted to look away, but he couldn't bring himself to. “Please Kazuma.”

Once Chrono spoke he was able to look away. His eyes darted around the room as he tried to collect his thoughts, but he ended up nodding and moved to make himself comfortable. When he settled, he looked up at the other who smiled down at him and started to card his fingers through his hair which got Kazuma to relax. “Do you like that?,” Chrono asked quietly. “I've always wondered if people actually liked it when people run their hands through their hair like in TV shows.”

“Mm..,” Kazuma hummed and leaned into Chrono's gentle touch. Chrono's fingers moved slowly through his hair and it was so stimulating. The two of them seemed to forget the show that played on the TV and Kazuma just relished in the feeling of Chrono's hands as they massaged his head. His heart was beating so loudly; he wondered if Chrono could hear it. If he did he didn't say anything and continued what he was doing. Kazuma grew drowsy at the continued attention and eventually drifted into unconsciousness.

–

Kazuma blinked a few times as he woke up again to clear up his vision. When it began to come back to him, he was greeted with the sight of Chrono busy on his phone. He yawned and began to stretch which caught the red head's attention.

“Mornin' sleeping beauty,” Chrono laughed. “You were out like a light.”

“Shut up..,” Kazuma mumbled as he rubbed his eyes. “How long was I out?”

“Like an hour and a half. It's already 9,” Chrono told him.

“Oh crap.. I'm sorry. I should get going,” Kazuma moved to sit up.

“N-No! Actually, do you wanna stay over?”

Kazuma gave him a confused look, still a bit jumbled from his impromptu nap. “I don't have anything to change into.”

“I have clothes dude. You can just borrow. We're about the same size anyways,” Chrono mentioned. “Mikuru-san wouldn't mind.”

“Uh.. Are you sure?”

“Definitely.”

Kazuma considered it for a moment before he dug his phone out of his pocket. “I'll text my mom and let her know then.”

“Cool. You wanna shower first then?,” Chrono asked.

“Yeah, why not?”

The two of them got up from the couch and Chrono showed him where the bathroom was. “There's towels under the sink that you can use, and I'll leave clothes outside the door for when you're done, okay?”

“Sure,” Kazuma said and went inside the bathroom. When he closed the door he panicked silently. _HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??? I was just.. I got so absorbed into him running his hands through my hair that I just.. AHHHHH!!! AND NOW I'M STAYING OVER. FUCK._ He took a moment to breathe calmly and assess the situation. _Alright so.. he invited me over and cooked for me and we watched some Netflix and.. had a kind of cuddle session for lack of a better word? What's with him all of a sudden..? Is he just being especially nice because of what happened at lunch today?_ He was so confused, but he also rather enjoyed the attention. He gripped at his shirt and kept himself from smiling because if he did, he felt like he was going to make a stupid giddy smile.

After his shower, he dressed in the clothes Chrono provided him which were some old gym shorts that came up kind of short since they were probably from middle school, and a Dragon Empire promotional shirt dating back a year ago. He probably got it for participating in one of their yearly events. The shorts shorts came up to a little higher than the middle of his thigh and he felt they were a little too short and tight for his liking since his thighs were rather toned compared to Chrono's. The guy wasn't a twig, but Kazuma definitely had more definition on himself.

“Shower's yours,” he said as he stood at the entrance of Chrono's room with the towel around his neck.

“Thanks—oh!,” Chrono stopped as he stood up. He looked Kazuma up and down which made him feel really self conscious.

“Wh-what's wrong with you?,” Kazuma spoke nervously.

“Nothing!! Sorry. Uh.. Are those shorts..”

“Oh they're.. a bit small, but if you don't have anything else, I'm fine with it. It's like wearing boxers,” Kazuma shrugged. “Go shower.”

“Alright alright,” Chrono put his hands up and made his way to the bathroom.

Kazuma sat on the floor, not wanting to sit on the bed in case Chrono didn't want him to. He opened up his phone and saw his mom gave him the okay in one message which he answered with an 'I love you' and a 'good night'. For the rest of the time he just looked on social media and read random articles about Vanguard and upcoming tournaments that caught his eye. Team Striders was still the talk of many articles and blogs, but it was only about two weeks ago that they won the U20. He never actually sat down and thought about it since he'd been busying himself with school and also had a lowkey crisis with his feelings about Shindou amongst other things. Where he was right now, he felt content.

When Chrono returned, he was drying his hair and it looked a little silly being down and wet. Last time he saw it like that was when they were at the beach with everyone. “Do you style your hair every morning?,” Kazuma asked.

“Kind of? It usually sticks up and I just tame it in the morning,” Chrono answered.

“Interesting. Well, I guess we should sleep right? Do you have a futon?”

Chrono rubbed at the back of his neck with a nervous laugh. “No actually. Mikuru-san and I really don't have people over so we never thought about getting one. You could sleep in my bed with me.... I-IF YOU WANT TO,” Chrono spoke quickly and Kazuma turned away, his face most definitely as red as Chrono's hair. “Or you could sleep.. on the couch? Honestly I really don't mind if we share the bed. I'd feel bad for kicking you out on the couch. My bed is pretty big so it can fit both of us.”

Kazuma covered his face and started laughing. And once he started he couldn't stop till it began to hurt. “Oh my gods. You're making this so awkward Shindou,” he managed between giggles. He let himself calm down before he continued. “I don't mind sharing a bed I guess..”

Chrono seemed to sigh in relief at that and gave him a smile. “Sorry man. I just was worried you might think it was weird since you like someone. You'd probably wanna do that with them instead of me, but since we're good friends.. I thought you wouldn't mind.”

“Y-Yeah. No it's fine.”

“Cool.”

The two of them settle in the bed together with Kazuma against the wall and Chrono on the outside. And they just looked at each other through the darkness with the light of the moon illuminating them slightly. Kazuma felt so awkward and nervous and anxious and every other synonym to those words. His heart thumped wildly against his chest, and his palms felt clammy. _Why did Shindou suggest this? Isn't this weird?_ Kazuma chewed his lip because the only conclusion he could come to was that maybe.. Maybe Chrono liked him back. But there were all sorts of other voices in his brain telling him otherwise. Telling him that he's just being nice. That he likes Shion. That there's no way he's good enough for Chrono.

Suddenly, he felt fingers on his lips and he flinched away from it. “S-Sorry. You were biting your lip. It looked like it was starting to hurt..,” he heard Chrono whisper.

“I'm just nervous..,” Kazuma confessed quietly.

It was silent between the two for a little bit, but Chrono broke that in a whisper that sounded like he was pleading. “Please... Please don't be nervous around me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like how casual Kazuma and Chrono could be together SO I HOPE YOU'RE LIKING ALL THE CASUAL THINGS THEY'VE BEEN DOING TOGETHER SO FAR. It's a lot of fun to write!!  
> In other news, I'm ridiculously busy with school and my new job. Luckily I have several chapters typed already so you can still expect sorta regular updates!! I might try to space it out if I feel like I'm getting much to busy to write, but for now this is alright!


	7. Chapter 7

Kazuma woke up in a daze. He sat up too quickly and the room around him spun. It took him a few seconds for his head to stop throbbing and a few more for him to finally adjust to the lightened room. He looked over to see that Chrono's side of the bed was empty, but he also smelled something delicious and noticed that the door was slightly open. He moved to get out of the bed and grabbed for his phone to see that it read 8:43 AM and that he had a few notifications. None of them were really important. Just random social media stuff. He stretched before leaving the room and the smell grew even stronger as he walked down the hall.

“Mornin'. Did you sleep alright?,” Chrono questioned, already so lively and moving around the kitchen with ease.

“Yeah, I just woke up weird,” Kazuma yawned as he flopped on a seat at the table. He almost wanted to bring up what Chrono said before they both fell asleep last night, but decided against it. “You seem like you've been up for a while.”

“I have been. Mikuru-san left not too long ago to meet with a friend who's about an hour away, so I got up to make her some food while she got ready.”

“So responsible. You're almost like a wife,” Kazuma teased.

“Oh shut up dude,” Chrono rolled his eyes. “Keep at it and you won't have breakfast.”

“Yes mom,” Kazuma continued much to Chrono's annoyance. When he saw Chrono join him at the table with only a plate of food for himself Kazuma started to complain and Chrono just laughed and told him to serve himself since the food was in the kitchen.

“What's the plan for today?,” Kazuma asked rejoined him at the table with a plate of food.

“I need to go to Card Capital 2 today since Shin-san let me have this week off and he has to go to the other Card Capital today to take over for Misaki-san and Miwa-san.” Chrono told him. “Oh yeah, they're the managers at the other shop branch, if you remember when we competed there for U20. Misaki-san is Shin-san's niece.”

“Oh okay. So both managers are busy?,” Kazuma questioned.

“It's actually apparently their one year,” Chrono rubbed at his neck. “I didn't even know that they were dating, but I'm not there all the time.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” Kazuma mumbled.

“Haha! You're free to come with me to the shop. You know it's so chill at Card Capital. Besides another reason I have to be there is cause there's a sneak peek for some new cards and usually quite a bit of people come to the shop to hangout and battle. Could be good practice. Also I wouldn't mind having a bit of help since Shin-san's gonna be out,” Chrono pushed around the food on the plate with his chopsticks.

Kazuma shrugged, but nodded. “Sure. I'm not doing anything else today. I just gotta stop by home and change clothes. I'm not gonna wear my uniform to the shop.”

–

When Kazuma arrived at the shop, it was already full of different people that he hadn't seen before. People were chatting about Vanguard and building new decks and Chrono was busy at the counter checking people out and assisting them when he could. Kazuma made a beeline behind the counter and nudged him. “Oi. Sorry I'm late.”

“Hey Kazuma! You're fine. There's an extra apron in the back if you wanna put it on,” Chrono grinned at him. “There's a few people that are new to the game and could use some teaching if you could do that for me?”

“Yeah, no problem,” Kazuma nodded and retrieved the apron. The energy in the store was so lively, he couldn't help but smile when he tied it on. He left the counter and Chrono was still busy, so he just went around the corner and noticed some familiar faces.

“Oh Kazuma-san! How've you been!?,” spoke Taiyou who was sitting at the couch with Shion.

Kazuma walked over to them with his hands in the apron pockets and nodded, “Hey Taiyou. Not bad. Haven't seen you since U20 ended. And hey Kiba.”

“Hello to you too,” Kiba smiled and waved. “Chrono's especially busy today. Are you working? You have the uniform on.”

“Yeah I decided it couldn't hurt since Shin-san's out of town covering at the other shop,” Kazuma shrugged. “I'm supposed to be helping some new players. Is that them over in the corner?”

Taiyou glanced to where Kazuma was pointed and nodded. “Yeah probably. I don't mind helping too! You could monitor us while I do the tutorial fight Kazuma-san.”

“Sounds like a plan. You comin' Kiba?,” Kazuma asked.

“I'll watch from here. I'm actually waiting for my club president to show up with a few new club members so I can help them out,” Shion explained.

“Suit yourself. Let's go Taiyou,” Kazuma started walking towards the group of what seemed like elementary schoolers and Taiyou followed behind him. The two of them explained the game to the group of starry eyed kids and they just ate it up. Their enthusiasm seemed to rub off on Kazuma because he just ended up in a really good mood while he helped them learn to play. He'd never been really good with kids, but having Taiyou there to also chime in when he wasn't sure what to say was a big help.

After a few teaching rounds, Shion walked up to him with his teammate Hayao Henri and other faces that he didn't recognize. “Mind playing me in a tutorial game Shouji?”

“Sure after this one,” Kazuma smiled at them easily. The group of them played several tutorial rounds and eventually the people they taught were able to hold a couple fights on their own. Kazuma, Taiyou, and Shion watched just in case there were any questions. In the middle of one of them, Chrono seemed to finally be free from the counter and joined them. The shop was still bustling with people, but most of them were having cardfights, trading, or talking and hanging out.

“Hey, thanks for helping out today Kazuma. Really saved me there. I wouldn't have ever been able to get around to helping them till now,” Chrono clapped his hands together and bowed.

“It wasn't a big deal. Besides, Taiyou and Kiba helped me out too,” Kazuma gestured towards them.

“Thank you guys too then,” Chrono grinned and they laughed lightheartedly together.

“Teaching new people about Vanguard is fun Chrono-san! If you ever need help, you could rely on me!,” Taiyou said happily.

“I know Taiyou. You're the best!,” Chrono laughed and mussed Taiyou's hair.

“Chrono-kun! Shouji-kun!!,” came a familiar cheerful voice. The group turned to see Luna and Amu in their usual disguises along with Kumi. “Wow so many of us are here today!! Amu and I wanted to stop in since Kumi-chan told us about the sneak peek!”

“Thanks for stopping in you three. Rummy Labyrinth taking a break from work then?,” Chrono stuffed his hands in his apron pockets and rocked on his feet.

“We've been off the entire week and today's our last day. We go back to work Monday,” Amu sighed. “But we hoped to hang out with some people today and we're glad all of you were here.”

“It's so nice to see everyone again! It's too bad Tokoha-chan's in Paris,” Kumi added sadly.

“Yeah, I miss her a lot,” Chrono sighed. “We could try video chatting her later!! We'll have to wait a bit since she's probably still asleep at this time.”

“Sound's like a great idea Chrono!,” Shion chimed in. “We should also all go out to eat dinner once Chrono closes up shop. I could get us reservations right now.”

“That's a good idea Shion-kun! How does everyone like ramen?,” Kumi requested with a smile.

“I have no objections!,” Taiyou said and Chrono nodded.

Seeing no one else opposed the idea Shion decided they'll all get ramen and began looking up places to book a reservation for that night.

–

“TOKOHA HIII!!!,” the group greeted the green haired girl on the laptop screen. It was mostly empty in the shop now. There were still a few people hanging around trading cards and talking, but the group decided it was a good time to call Tokoha with an hour left before the store closed.

“Oh wow! Hey everyone!!,” Tokoha smiled and waved. “You all seem well. Everyone got together for the sneak peek today I'm assuming?”

“Yeah and I was working the shop,” Chrono sighed.

“Stop complaining. You had help,” Kazuma rolled his eyes.

“It was still really busy!!,” Chrono complained.

“Haha! Good to see you and Shouji-kun are doing well,” she laughed lightheartedly.

“When are you coming back to visit again Tokoha?,” Shion asked.

“Oh yeah, I'm not too sure. If not for a holiday, then it'll be whenever Ibuki and everyone needs to tell us about the Diffrider situation,” Tokoha answered.

“Diffrider?,” Luna looked at Amu who shrugged.

“Ah, I'll fill you guys in later,” Tokoha tapped her cheek.

“I could do it,” Kumi volunteered. “You're so busy in France, and I live here, so it'll be easier for me to do it.”

“Thanks Kumi-chan.”

They all talked and caught up until it was time to close up shop. Tokoha said her goodbyes to everyone and once they hung up, they helped Chrono with organizing everything.

“Shindou, hurry up. Everyone left already,” Kazuma leaned against the counter while Chrono finished cleaning up the shop.

“Shin-san'll give me an earful if I don't make sure everything's in order before closing up!,” Chrono laughed. “Did you even do anything while everyone else helped out?”

“I restocked the shelves. Just waiting for you,” Kazuma shrugged with a small laugh.

“I hear ya I hear ya! I just finished,” Chrono bumped his hip playfully with his own when he walked by with the broom and dust pan. “Lemme just put these away you ass.”

“Heh.. You're so slow,” Kazuma smiled.

“Alright, let's go!,” Chrono said as came out of the back and grabbed his phone off the counter.

“Oh wait, you forgot to take off your apron,” Kazuma grabbed at his wrist and turned him back around to face him. Without thinking, he reached around to untie the apron, but he froze when he realized the position they were in. Their chests were close and their faces were close. Kazuma really didn't think this through and wanted to kick himself for it. He kept his eyes trained on the apron pockets as a blush crept onto his face.

“K-Kazuma..,” Chrono mumbled. “I could.. take it off myself.”

He swallowed loudly and picked his words carefully. “It's fine.. I already started untying it. I'll just do it.” He untied the knot in the back slowly and looked back at Chrono once he finished. The other's cheeks were bright red and he looked at him with a stunned expression. There was a ringing in Kazuma's ears while he and Chrono stared at each other. He was so close. He could probably lean in and just steal a quick—

“Chrono, we were wondering if you guys needed anymore help closing up, so I came back up to—”, Shion walked in and stopped in his tracks at the door. Kazuma and Chrono whipped their heads to him and Kazuma was PANICKING. Shion looked surprised, but in Kazuma's eyes it registered as disgusted. “What are you doing—”

“IT'S NOTHING!,” Kazuma ended up interrupting him and pushed away from Chrono. “We just finished. I'll meet you guys downstairs.” He ran away. He had no choice. It could've been anyone, but of COURSE it had to be Shion. Kazuma ran a hand through his hair with a frustrated breath. He was going to kiss Chrono. He was going to and he's REALLY GLAD HE DIDN'T because that would have been a whole different issue, but Shion saw them instead and he wanted to just combust into flames and hide. He met with the group downstairs and when Shion and Chrono joined them shortly after, he stood next to Amu on the walk to the restaurant while Chrono stayed with Shion and Taiyou.

–

“You're the one making it seem awkward!,” Amu whispered back to him. They all made it to the restaurant at two big tables the restaurant pushed together for them. Kazuma sat at the end of the table across from Amu who was next to Luna. Taiyou was next to Chrono who was on the other end of the table with Shion sitting across from Chrono. Henri sat next to Shion and Kumi was next to Kazuma, separating him from Henri. He, Amu, and Luna strategically set this up because he consulted Amu saying that he absolutely could NOT sit next to Chrono and Shion. He wasn't exactly running away. He ended up going out to eat with all of them. He just didn't want to face him or Shion directly after that.

Kazuma sighed, slumping in his seat. “I know, I'm sorry. Thanks for this, seriously.” Everyone was busy chatting and figuring out what to order so Kazuma assumed it was a bit safe and didn't seem out of place to focus on talking pretty quietly with Amu and by default, Luna. The restaurant was a pretty big ramen shop and it seemed kind of pricy, but Shion really insisted on paying for everyone since it had been a little while since a lot of them got together.

“You're telling me what happened,” Amu raised a brow at him.

“Me too Shouji-kun. Don't leave me out of it,” Luna chimed in.

He almost couldn't believe that he consulted in the pair of idols. Just a few days ago they didn't even talk and now they're his personal relationship advisers. Amu must've also been telling Luna about everything. He wasn't upset about that at all. They were really sweet, but seriously, how did it end up like this? “I'll tell you both, just please keep it down. I don't need anyone else knowing.”

“Shouji-kun, it's your turn to order!,” Kumi poked him.

He nodded and told the waiter, “Miso ramen with chicken and two smoked salmon onigiris, please. Oh and water for my drink.”

After the two idols ordered, Amu focused her attention back on Kazuma. “Here, just text me. You won't have to say a word.”

Kazuma rolled his eyes, but gave in.

ME 7:53 PM  
[ I kinda ]  
[ I almost kissed Shindou ]  
[ and kiba waklekd in on us ]  
[ *walked ]

Amu and Luna gasped after reading the text. “NO WAY!,” they both exclaimed. It was a loud and busy restaurant so their tones actually fit right in. That and the rest of the group were chatting away happily.

Kazuma hid his face in his arms when he put his head down. “Would you two please shut up?”

“I thought you were being careful with this Kazuma??,” Amu asked right away. “Do you even know if..??????” He could read her expression like an open book.

“No?? I dunno???,” he groaned, but quieted down. “He was.. really really nice to me last night and after all the enthusiastic and positive energy at Card Capital that day, I felt like I could.. do anything.”

“Ahhh!!! Shion-kuuuun!! I would popp'im a new one if I could!! I can't believe he walked in on you two!,” Luna whined quietly and made fists. Amu just laughed.

“No no! It's fine. I'm glad I didn't do it, but I just.. Ugh..,” Kazuma was tired. And hungry. “I wish it wasn't him that came up to check on us.” His eyes found their way to the other side of the table where Chrono and Shion were talking nonchalantly with Taiyou. _He seems unphased.. maybe there was nothing after all._

“Are you alright Shouji-kun?,” Kumi asked next to him.

“Yeah I'm just hungry,” he answered in a muffled voice, still with his head down in his arms.

“The food should be coming out soon the waiter said!,” Kumi smiled and it was like a breath of fresh air. Were all the girls in this group just so radiant? He knew Kumi was nice from class, but they never hung out outside of class save for during U20 when all of them hung out.

“Speak of the devil!,” Luna clapped her hands together and sure enough, the waiter had arrived with an extra helper with their food on the trays. They distributed the food carefully and when everyone got their food, all together they chanted “Itadakimasu!” and dug in.

Kazuma snuck glances at Chrono and Shion while everyone ate. They continued to speak between bites and Chrono's cheeks flushed a little at something Shion said. The blonde poked his cheek with a fond look and Chrono laughed, taking his hand. Chrono's eyes wandered to Kazuma's and Kazuma broke eye contact quickly to glance down at his food. _Amu was wrong.. Shion and Shindou's feelings for each other is so obvious.. What was Shindou doing with me last night? … Is he just.. playing with me?_ He sighed, stood up, and mumbled that he was going to the restroom to no one in particular.

“Huh? Kazuma?,” Amu spoke up, but he ignored her and stalked off to the restroom at the back of the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had an exhausting week;;;  
> I decided to check this chapter and post it cuz I don't wanna think about all the work I have to do this weekend and for the rest of this semester to be honest.  
> I hope everyone's doing better than me and Kazuma!!


	8. Chapter 8

Kazuma splashed his face with water and dried it with a paper towel. He looked at himself in the mirror and took a nice long look. His brow was furrowed and his cheeks were red. The look in his eyes were familiar. They were shallow, like no life existed within them at all. _All these mood swings.... What's up with this.._ Kazuma sighed, hanging his head low. _I'm so confused.. I'm feeling good one moment and the next I'm so down I wonder what's the point anymore... And gods.. WHAT DOES SHINDOU WANT FROM ME?!_ Kazuma shouted and punched the wall by the mirror. It stung, but he didn't care. He punched it again and again and again, continuously till his hands trembled and the skin on his knuckles were raw and torn with blood trickling down from them. He laughed weakly to himself. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

“Kazuma?,” came a voice he really, really, REALLY didn't want to hear. His eyes darted to the door and there stood no one other than Chrono Shindou. And from the expression on his face and where his attention was drawn, he saw the damage Kazuma did to himself. “Kazuma, why'd you—”

“GET AWAY FROM ME SHINDOU!!,” Kazuma shouted at him. He shoved past the other and ran out of the restaurant without a second thought. He ran and ran and ran. He was blind to his surroundings. The only thing in his mind was to run and get as far away from Shindou and everyone else as possible. _He knows. He must know. But he likes Shion. So that must mean he's messing with me. I don't understand why he would, but HE IS._ Kazuma didn't even realize where his legs had taken him before he had exhausted himself. He fell to his knees and started coughing and panting. He looked around the room, finally taking in his surroundings in the moonlight that streamed through the window. _Oh.. This place is where I used to hangout with those thugs before I joined Striders..._ Kazuma stood up carefully and stumbled a bit since his legs felt like they were on fire. He used the wall to help him get to the corner and slid down to the ground to catch his breath.

_I'm so useless the way I am. How could I ever face any of them? I have a shit personality and I just bother them with all these mood swings I keep having.. Change? HAH. I haven't changed at all. It's impossible for me to change.. I'm so damn pitiful..._ Kazuma relished in berating himself. He felt the sting in his eyes as sweat dripped from his brow and his chest heaved up and down through his heavy breaths. Everything about him felt extremely painful, but numb at the same time. He started to laugh and when he started to laugh he started to cry. And he cried a lot. His mind was a mess of self hatred, confusion, and frustration. _Maybe it would be better if I didn't exist at all..._

“K-Kazuma?!”

Kazuma felt his heart stop all at once. His ears rang and he slowly raised his head to look at the entrance of the room. Of course Chrono was here. Of course. His chest was heaving and there was a look of horror in his eyes when they met Kazuma's.

“Shindou..,” Kazuma laughed and began to stand. “What the fuck do you want?”

“I... I just wanna make sure you're alright man,” Chrono began to walk over to him. Kazuma could tell he approached him carefully.

“Make sure that I'm alright?,” Kazuma let out a harsh scoff. “You must be kidding me right now.”

“Kazuma..”

“I told you to get away from me!!,” Kazuma snapped and punched Chrono and made him stumble backwards

“What the hell Kazuma?!,” Chrono hissed, a hand on his cheek. “I just want to help you!!”

Chrono swung, but Kazuma grabbed his arm. The two wrestled for a bit, but Kazuma overpowered the other and threw him to the ground. “You?! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY DO FOR ME??,” he shouted and stepped back from the red head. “YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. HELL YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THERE WAS ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME TILL I SAID SOMETHING YESTERDAY. You—You're just playing with me! I'm so damn TIRED OF IT.”

Chrono coughed and got up shakily. “What are you talking about?! How could you think I'm playing with you??”

“Before we left Card Capital??? And last night at your place?? Even at lunch yesterday! Don't act like you don't know. Gods, this is RICH,” Kazuma moved to punch him again, but this time Chrono caught his arm and punched him. It stung and before Kazuma could come to his senses, Chrono shoved him against the wall. Kazuma's legs buckled and he fell to the ground. The other took advantage and grabbed his wrists. “Let go of me! Leave me alone!!,” Kazuma shouted, but Chrono didn't let go. Instead, he used all of his strength to hold Kazuma till he eventually wore himself out. The two sat there panting for what felt like forever. Then Chrono finally released his wrists and Kazuma let his arms fall to his side. Chrono picked up one of Kazuma's hands and he just watched him as he did so.

“Why did you do this to yourself?,” Chrono asked in a low voice.

Kazuma gritted his teeth as he tried to keep himself from breaking down, but it was too late. He felt hot tears roll down his cheeks. “I... hate myself so much..,” he choked. “There's nothing I can be proud of because n-nothing I do will ever be enough. I-I'm strong, but not as strong as my b-b-brother... I'm... athletic and smart, but not as much as Kiba. I want to be a-a g-good friend, but no one... no one could ever m-miss me like they do Anjou.. I want to be the one people c-c-can rely on, but I'm not reliable at-at all and definitely not as much as you... Then, Kiba.. Kiba again and again and again... He's... basically just a b-better version of everything I wish I-I was. I want... to be able to stand on his level, but he's always up there and... I'm.. always down here,” Kazuma gasped out through his pants and sobs, but Chrono kept his eyes on him the entire time. He didn't flinch or move away.

“I was so nervous and sc-scared. So horrified of the day you'd see me like.. th-this. When I fall to my lowest.. B-Because … I like you. I like you... so... so much. And to get it through your thick skull; n-not just as a friend...,” he took a deep breath and just hung his head to cry. Everything hurt. His head hurt. His face hurt. His throat hurt. His chest hurt. His arms and hands hurt. His legs hurt. But he still felt so so numb and his body quivered. “I've.. always wondered if maybe.. maybe y-you'll look my way.. and w-want me, too. Not as a team..teammate. Or as a f-friend.. Maybe as someone you w-would.. d.. date.. I guess. But... the real me is sick and hateful.. I'm jealous... envious and selfish.. And I can't change that about me..”

“Kazuma...”

“You-You don't have to waste your time with me a-anymore.. You can go back to-to Kiba. S'more suited to be at your side.. I'll just bring you down,” Kazuma said before he could say anything else and kept his eyes shut so he wouldn't have to see the disappointment in Chrono's face.

He felt the other put his hand down and he expected to hear him get up and walk away, but instead he felt Chrono's hands touch his cheeks as his thumbs gently wiped his tears. “Kazuma, look at me,” Chrono said, but Kazuma refused till Chrono raised his voice a bit higher and firmly said, “KAZUMA. LOOK AT ME.” Kazuma opened his eyes, still feeling tears leak from them and looked up to face Chrono. Chrono's eyes were serious. They held worry and frustration and something else he couldn't really put his finger on.

“There's probably nothing I can do to make you stop thinking that you're inferior to everyone. Your feelings are your own,” Chrono spoke. “But don't you dare try to speak for my feelings. You think I'll toss you aside after all I've been through with you? You think I care if you're weaker than Onimaru or not as athletic and smart as Shion or as good a friend as Tokoha? For the record I think that you're just as good as them at all those things you mentioned and I sure as hell do care if you think I don't care about you at all,” Chrono told him without his voice wavering even once.

“When U20 ended, Shion and Tokoha asked me if I was dating you. I was really confused at first. I've told you before I never really thought about those kinds of things, but they told me everything they noticed. They told me how I'm always talking about you and praising you and they pointed out that I always seem to smile more whenever I spend time with you. I thought about it a lot, but I continued to be on the fence for a while. I'm.. I'm really not good with this kind of thing, okay..? And Shion still liked to bring it up sometimes and tease me about it. He did that the other night and today after he walked in on us.”

“Shin—”

“Please let me talk for a moment Kazuma,” Chrono bit out and Kazuma did. Chrono took a deep breath and continued, “You always told me that you were alright, and yesterday when you cried to me about how you'd been feeling, I thought, I must be a really shitty best friend to not have noticed anything wrong. I definitely didn't realize it was already the tip of the ice berg and that you were so close to breaking. I thought you'd been fine all this time. I was so stupid,” Chrono laughed weakly. “But I also remembered how it was when I first met you. And when you first came face to face with Onimaru. I remembered that I don't like seeing you like that. I don't like seeing you sad or in pain.. I like you Kazuma.. I really do, but it's just new for me. We'd gone through a lot together in the past few months and they felt like some of the best months I'd ever lived,” Chrono told him sincerely and pursed his lips to think before he spoke again. “But you know, I think I'm just scared of messing up an important relationship that I.. We'd worked so hard to build..”

Kazuma started to cry again, “I-I didn't ruin this did I?” Chrono shook his head and took him in his arms and held him tightly through his sobs. Kazuma buried his face in between his neck and shoulder. “Please.. don't leave me alone...,” Kazuma cried softly.

“I already told you so many times that you're not alone anymore..,” Chrono held him tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I'm still busy, but as I've said before I have several chapters ahead already written so I don't mind updating. And this is also a good way for me to kind of unwind and just enjoy doing whatever!!
> 
> So I worked really hard on this chapter and kinda wanted to explain how I went about doing it. If you don't care that's fine. I just feel the need to share.
> 
> It was difficult to try and keep Kazuma in character during his breakdown. I tried to mostly draw from experience. I always had thoughts of how people didn't care even though I knew they did and how alone I felt and I just cried a lot such. I feel like Kazuma's internal struggle is something important people should notice. It's not something so easy to overcome and even when you do overcome it, it's bound to sneak up on you again which sucks. Especially since Kazuma's gotten and continuing to get more friendly and acquainted with everyone Chrono knows. I really cherish Kazuma and wanted to capture how much everything was really bothering him because that stuff does bother you even if it seems small?? Never think less of someone's struggles. Give them all equal amounts of attention.
> 
> As for Chrono, I imagine he would fight back since he's a very impulsive person and Kazuma of course fought with him at first. But I think Chrono has the most sense in the situation and he's just trying to figure out the best way to handle it, thus him trying to get Kazuma to stop fighting him. These kids are young so communication isn't the easiest, especially since they're guys (not trying to stereotype, but it's just something I noticed more from what my cis guy friends have told me). But at a time like this, Chrono has to really figure out how to talk to Kazuma without messing it up. He's always been someone who's supportive and I wrote him like that in this story, so I think this was a good way to do it.
> 
> It's kind of a little something I learned from Ace Attorney Apollo Justice & Dual Destinies. There are some feelings and situations that are locked up inside of you because you wanted to forget them all and if you went about it the wrong way, you would definitely cause further damage.
> 
> Like I said, I spent a lot of time reading, rereading, and rewriting this chapter. I hope I did it well.


	9. Chapter 9

When they got to Chrono's home, Mikuru-san was in the kitchen and as soon as she saw both of them, she was mothering them like crazy. First she got ice packs for both of their bruising cheeks, then she took out the first aid kit and cleaned up Kazuma's knuckles. It stung really badly and Kazuma wanted to cry, but his tears had run dry. All he could do was wince and squeeze Chrono's hand. Mikuru-san didn't ask what happened once. She just focused on helping them out, much to Kazuma's relief. It made him wonder if Chrono had come home in bad condition like this before... and how often for her to just accept it.. When she finished wrapping up his hands she made Kazuma take some pain killers. She also offered them something to eat and drink, but they both refused. Even if he was hungry, wasn't sure if he'd be able to stomach anything anyways.

Eventually, Chrono managed to convince her that he could take over from there and they moved to his room where Chrono had him change into a clean pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. They sat in silence mostly. Chrono was busy on his phone. It was obvious that he was texting everyone; probably reassuring them about the situation with how furiously he typed.

“Sorry..,” Kazuma finally mustered up enough courage to speak. His voice was hoarse from his yelling and crying, but he still managed. “I always seem to mess up some how.”

“It's okay. We all do,” Chrono answered him.

“Shindou... You said you like me... But.. is it..,” Kazuma paused to try and gather his thoughts. He exhaled shakily. “Like how I like you?”

Chrono looked him right in he eye and said, “Everything's.. a bit weird with me right now, but I'm pretty sure that I like you Kazuma. I like you a lot.”

“... Why?”

“I just do,” Chrono said with a shrug. “You've gone through so much bullshit and you could have easily just given it all up like you did with Vanguard fights before, but you haven't. It shows that you're still willing to grasp onto a future that you're searching for. I admire you a lot.”

Kazuma scoffed, but he actually really appreciated those words. He heard Chrono get up and walk over to him. He knelt in front of him; eyes trained on his, “Can I try something?”

“What is it?,” Kazuma mumbled.

“Can I kiss you?”

Kazuma hesitated when he asked. He wanted to ask why, but he figured Chrono would just say something like, “why not”. So he put his hand behind Chrono's neck and pulled him down to press their lips together. Chrono's lips were slightly chapped, but so were his. They didn't do anything but press their lips to each other's, but Kazuma felt content; his heart squeezed tightly in his chest. When they separated, Chrono blinked a couple of times before he smiled at him. “That was my first kiss.”

Kazuma rolled his eyes and pushed him away. “You're so lame.”

–

Kazuma didn't wake up the next day till noon. When sat up, his head spun and he had a major headache. Similar to yesterday when he sat up too fast, except this time the headache was actually there to stay. He groaned and started looking around for his phone. He saw it on the nightstand next to the bed and reached over to grab it which pulled a pained moan out of his throat. His body was sore from everything and his hands ached like crazy. He really messed himself up last night.

When he checked there were a ton of messages. Several from everyone. Luna and Amu sent him the most. A grand total of 56 texts and 27 missed calls just from those two alone. Then he checked his messages from his mom and saw that Chrono had gotten a hold of his phone and texted her for him. It read that he had a rough night so he was staying with him and she told Chrono to take care of him. He could only imagine what his mom thought happened based on his track record and wasn't eager for the interrogation that awaited him at home.

A quiet knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts and he saw Chrono standing there. “You were really exhausted. I couldn't even wake you up when I tried,” Chrono leaned against the doorway. “Why don't you wash up and eat some food. There's leftovers that Mikuru-san had from when she went out with her friend yesterday. I already ate, so help yourself.”

“Mikuru-san..”

“She went out to run some errands. I already thanked her, but I'm sure you also want to do that yourself. She'll be back around 5pm this evening probably.”

“Alright..,” Kazuma couldn't even hold a conversation with Chrono. He felt stupid, but he got up and went to the bathroom to freshen up. He saw the Chrono had left an unopened toothbrush for him on the bathroom sink as well as mouth wash and he sighed. This guy pampered him. After he cleaned up, he still didn't feel hungry at all and just returned to Chrono's room where he saw him sitting on his bed.

He looked up when he noticed Kazuma step in the room and smiled. “Hey, that was fast. Did you eat?”

“No.. I'm not hungry, but how's your face?,” Kazuma gestured to him as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Chrono laughed and rubbed at the bruise lightly. “Not bad. Hurts a little. How 'bout yours?”

“It's fine.. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. I'm sorry, too.”

Kazuma gave him a solemn look. “Are you okay with this? Last night was...”

“Last night was in the past. We don't have to dwell on it unless you want to,” Chrono said.

“I don't.”

“Then we won't.”

Kazuma looked at him in disbelief, but laughed a bit. “You're crazy.”

“But you like me.”

“Don't push your luck.”

“Will you kiss me?”

Kazuma raised a brow. “I kissed you last night. You're really eager.”

“I want a real kiss man,” Chrono looked at him seriously.

“Didn't you tell me that last night was your first kiss?”

“Yeah. So, can I have my second kiss?”, the red head asked again. Kazuma scratched at his neck, but shrugged. He moved over to Chrono and was going to just lean into him, but Chrono stopped him. “Sit on my lap.”

“Wh—”

“Why not?”

Kazuma turned away. He knew his face was burning at this point. How was Chrono so.. bold to just ask him to do things like this? Especially when he had no experience. “Fine..,” Kazuma muttered and positioned himself so he straddled the other's lap and put his hands on Chrono's shoulders. When he sat, Chrono put his hands on Kazuma's waist and rubbed circles on his sides with his thumbs. Kazuma's mouth felt dry, his fingers had a slight tremble, and a shiver ran down his spine. This was something he had definitely never done.

“Does this make you nervous?,” Chrono spoke up.

“Y-yes..,” Kazuma said quietly with a nod.

“You don't have to be nervous with me.”

“I've never done this before.. You know.. sat in someone's lap..”

“Neither have I.”

“Doesn't this feel too fast?,” Kazuma asked him in a harsh whisper as if someone would find them out.

“I decided to just go with what I'm feeling,” Chrono said simply. “Besides, we're here together now. We both like each other. And I want to kiss you.”

Kazuma just stared at him, but the look in Chrono's eyes were familiar. He wasn't going to back down from this. _So stubborn.._ Kazuma thought and took Chrono's face in his hands to bring their faces closer together. “I'm gonna kiss you now.”

“Do your worst,” Chrono challenged him with a playful smirk and Kazuma twitched in irritation. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Chrono's carefully only to discover that Chrono really wasn't good at kissing. Of course it wasn't a surprise. He didn't know how to move his mouth or where to apply pressure that would make the kiss feel better, but Kazuma actually liked his inexperience. He liked the thought of being Chrono's first kiss. And second kiss. Kazuma moved his lips skillfully against Chrono's, trying to lead him and show him what felt nice and he picked up on it rather quickly. Soon they pulled away and both of them were panting. Chrono's eyes fluttered open, his lips slightly parted and Kazuma's heart skipped a beat. He was so beautiful.

But then Chrono licked his lips and Kazuma's brain short circuited. He crushed his lips to the other's again, but this time aggressively and it definitely took Chrono off guard, but he seemed to go with it. With his hands still on Kazuma's waist, he pulled him closer so their chests touched and his hands moved down to his hips. Kazuma wondered briefly if he was going to grab his butt, but it seemed like they were staying put. He felt a nervous energy in those finger tips that tapped on his hips. Kazuma decided to get bolder and he tangled his fingers in Chrono's messy hair and pulled at him roughly to get a better angle. Chrono moaned loudly at the action and Kazuma didn't miss this chance to let his tongue venture into Chrono's mouth. He tasted sweet. Like cake or something. He must've eaten some earlier. It was really sweet, but somehow, he didn't hate it and wanted more of it. Perhaps because it tasted like Chrono.

Kazuma felt greedy all of a sudden as he kissed Chrono hard. His hands ventured downward; they brushed Chrono's neck and his fingertips traced his collarbone. Then he let one hand drag down his clothed chest slowly till he reached the bottom and let his hand slip under the shirt feel up his abdomen. He could feel Chrono shiver under his touch. The sounds of their kissing filled his ears and the touches felt like fire. Kazuma was losing all sense.

_I want this._

_I want him._

_I want all of him._

But Chrono pushed him away, his breathing labored, and wiped at his red, glossy lips.

“Haaa... Haa... Holy shit Kazuma.. Give me a chance to breathe...,” Chrono panted out. His face was ridiculously flushed and he looked disoriented. “Oh my gods..,” he breathed and hid his face.

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK._ “I'm.. I'm so sorry, Shindou..,” Kazuma breathed heavily. “Fuck..”

“K-Kaz—oh! Oh no Kazuma!!,” Chrono sounded panicked and took Kazuma's face in his hands to make him look at him. Chrono looked worried, but there was also a shine in his eyes. Like he was.. excited? “You didn't do ANYTHING WRONG. I just got REALLY overwhelmed and I started to feel.. really weird and good, but it was going REALLY FAST. With all the kissing and.. tongue and... t... touch..ing....”

If both of them weren't already bright red, they were now. Chrono released Kazuma's face and the two of them turned away from each other. Kazuma wanted to scream at himself. He got so bold. He was touching Chrono in such an intimate way. He wanted to HIDE. That is, till he heard Chrono burst out laughing.

“Shindou?”

“Hahaha! S-Sorry, it's just.. That was so much,” Chrono made a goofy smile with a hand rubbing at the bruise on his cheek absentmindedly. “And for some reason.. I'm really excited to do so many things with you now.”

“SH-SHINDOU—Don't say stuff like that. It's.. really lame,” Kazuma said, but it didn't match his expression. He felt a stupid smile creep on his face and before he knew it, he was laughing and then both of them were laughing till their sides hurt and they just laid next to each other as they came down from that high.

“Hey Kazuma,” Chrono sat up and looked down at the other.

“Yeah,” Kazuma also sat up.

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

“Oh my gods, yes,” Kazuma answered immediately which made Chrono laugh. They both leaned into each other for another soft kiss and laughed again when they parted. Chrono rested his hand on Kazuma's and Kazuma interlocked their fingers together. He didn't remember the last time he felt this blissful. This relaxed. This safe. He felt like he belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! If you've been keeping up for a little while, you'll also know that I've usually updated like twice a week~ I think after this chapter I'll only be updating weekly and possibly won't be updating next week due to Thanksgiving (SO I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING IF YOU CELEBRATE IT and hope you eat lots of food and have fun with whomever you spend it with).
> 
> So, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and that Kazuma bouncing back didn't seem too fast? I imagine that Kazuma has definitely grown out of how much he brooded when Chrono first met him so him wanting to just move past what happened the night before seemed like the best decision. Please just let him be happy.
> 
> I also hope everyone likes fluff!! Cause this is gonna continue to be a really fluffy story with possibly some angst in between. I'm going to be building on how these boys, especially Kazuma, grow as people and learn about themselves together. Rating will eventually change, but I said slow burn so you'll get slow burn haha!
> 
> You guys' loving comments and support has made this story so worth it!! I wasn't expecting such positive feedback for a story I decided to write on a whim just cause I love KazuChro so much. Many hugs and kisses!! See you after Thanksgiving!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYONE!! I'm back and I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving if you celebrate it!!
> 
> AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE BOY KAZUMA! I wanted to post this chapter for his birthday CAUSE I'M WORKING TONIGHT and it bums me out cuz I would've loved to just relax for this good kid's bday.
> 
> I also hope everyone likes this chapter!! There's some day skipping to advance time a bit more and also fluff.. maybe more if you noticed that rating change c;

When Kazuma got home that night, he mumbled a quiet, “I'm home” in hopes that his mom wouldn't actually hear him, but he was so wrong because she was standing right in the hallway when he returned. “EGH!! H-Hi.. Mom..”

“You have a lot of explaining to do.”

Kazuma sighed loudly, but took off his shoes and followed her to the living room where she had already set up water and snacks. _Geez she had this all planned out... I feel so bad. How long had she been waiting?_ He sat on the cushion chair next to the couch and avoided her gaze. He really didn't know how to start this off. The last time his mom got this way was when he came home from a really bad fight and there was no way he could've hidden all the bruises and scars from that one. He rubbed lightly at his bandaged hands. They were cold and he felt so nervous as his mom's eyes glared daggers into him.

“Kazuma, what were you thinking? Doing... This?? Again??”

Kazuma's eyes widened in shock. _She thinks I was—_ “N-No. No mom! It's not what you think!! It's not the sa—”

“We talked about this before! I can't beli—”

“I swear mom! I didn't—”

“AND YOU GOT CHRONO-KUN INVO—”

“MOM IT'S NOT THE SAME THING!!!,” Kazuma stood up with a shout. “I promised you that I wouldn't get involved with those people anymore and I haven't! I-I got into it with Shindou!! I got so frustrated about.. I DUNNO EVERYTHING??? And.. I broke down.. God.. I broke down again..,” he breathed and sat back down with his hands in his face. “It was really bad mom.. Like before...”

“O..Oh.. Kaz..,” his mom's gentle voice came out. She moved closer to him and rubbed his back which helped him calm down.

“But.. he went after me,” Kazuma whispered. “Shindou.. He knocked some sense into me.. Literally,” he rubbed his bruised cheek. “He helped me find my way back before and he did it again.”

Kazuma's mom put a hand on the cheek that wasn't bruised then leaned in to kiss his forehead. “Just... please promise me you'll stay out of trouble, okay? I know you can take care of yourself, but I get so worried about you sometimes.”

“I know.. I'm really sorry.. I didn't mean for any of this,” Kazuma told her sincerely.

“Oh Kaz.. My baby boy.. You don't have to apologize. You've gone through a lot more than anyone would ever need to in their entire life,” his mom said. “I'm so sorry.”

“It's not your fault mom.”

“I just want you to be happy, Kaz.”

“I am happy.. Seriously,” Kazuma mumbled. “ And I want you to be happy, too.”

“I am. Ever since the day you were born I've never been happier. Sure everything was tough years back, but I'll never regret having you,” his mom smiled genuinely and pulled him into a hug. Kazuma hugged her back.

“So, how is it then? Everything's okay with you guys?,” his mom asked when they sat back.

“Ahh.. funny story..,” Kazuma brought up awkwardly as he reached for a cracker and slice of cheese off the almost forgotten plate of snacks. “We're.. dating now.”

Kazuma's mom gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. Her expression read surprise, but also excitement. “Oh my! Really?! That's! That's so great Kaz!!”

“Haha, yeah,” Kazuma played it cool as he ate. “So.. It turned out well after all.”

“I'm glad it did,” Kazuma's mom smiled. “Do we need to talk about the birds and the bees?”

“Please no.”

–

 

“You have no idea how worried we were!!!,” Luna whined over the phone during their lunch period the day after. The two idols coincidentally had their break at the same time Kazuma had lunch so they decided to face time instead of discussing what happened over text.

“Chrono was white as a sheet when he told us that he was going after you,” Amu added. “We were going to go after him, but he told us not to follow him.”

“I'm right here you know,” Chrono mumbled in response. “It's because he would probably feel like everyone was ganging up on him if a ton of us went after him. Besides, since we did end up throwing punches, I wouldn't want anyone to accidentally get hurt. Kazuma's punched me before. I knew I could take it.”

“Okay stop,” Kazuma wheezed. He felt exhausted. He was tired from Saturday's events. He was tired from Sunday's events. He woke up feeling like someone kicked him in the head. “My mind kind of shut down that night. I dunno. It's been a while since I'd felt that overwhelmed. It was a bunch of insignificant stuff, too.”

“That's the worst kinds of stuff though Kazuma,” Amu said with a sad expression. “Because there's a ton of little things that you think, this shouldn't be an issue at all. And you think you can deal with it, but all of it starts to grow until all that little stuff is a ton of big stuff.”

“That makes sense..,” Kazuma sighed. Chrono rubbed his back tenderly and Kazuma smiled at him.

“So uhm... Kazuma..,” Amu spoke again and Kazuma knew what she wanted to ask.

“Oh... We.. Shindou and I—”

“Me and Kazuma are dating,” Chrono chimed in.

Luna suddenly cheered and Chrono and Kazuma winced at the sound.

“I'M SO HAPPY FOR THE TWO OF YOU!!,” Luna choked out. She looked like she was about to cry. “We should go on double dates!! That'll be so fuuuun!!! Ahhhhh!!”

“Ahaha! Luna, Luna. Calm down a bit,” Amu giggled, but Chrono and Kazuma just laughed.

“A double date sounds fun!,” Chrono grinned. “Let us know when you're free.”

“You got it Chrono-kun!!”

“Well, we'll talk to you guys another time. We've gotta get back to the stage,” Amu said.

“Byye!!,” the pair said simultaneously with waves and blown kisses before they hung up.

Kazuma let out an exhale and Chrono continued rubbing his back. “They're so good to me, but I was actually worried they would be more upset..”

“Nah, they're not like that at all. Actually, everyone took it rather well. They were mostly worried if you were alright,” Chrono told him.

“Did you tell Kiba and Anjou?”

“They called me after you left last night and demanded I tell them everything,” Chrono sighed and Kazuma narrowed his eyes at him. “I DIDN'T TELL THEM ABOUT THE KISSING!!!!! …”

Kazuma noticed how Chrono avoided eye contact. “Oi...”

“Well.. Maybe... A little..”

“Shindou!!”

“TOKOHA WOULDN'T STOP PESTERING ME!!,” Chrono gripped his head in shame when he confessed. “I mentioned it and then she and Shion tag teamed me for the details...”

“So you're the kiss and tell kinda guy huh..,” Kazuma mumbled darkly and Chrono panicked.

“I won't do it again, I swear!!,” Chrono clapped his hands together and bowed his head.

Kazuma rolled his eyes, but a laugh ended up escaping him and Chrono peeked at him. “Ugh, it's fine. As long as you don't tell them anymore,” Kazuma said and leaned in to plant a kiss on Chrono's cheek.

“Ahh.. Oh man..,” Chrono hid his face in his hands. “I'm really sorry about that.. and any other mistakes in advance man.. I dunno know how this dating stuff works, so.. Please bare with me.”

“It's alright.. Not like I dated anyone for that long before. I mean.. We went on dates to like eat or to go hangout, but I didn't really care enough to pay much attention,” Kazuma shrugged.

Chrono turned to look at him. “Dude.. that's kind of horrible.”

“Wh-What?? I never really liked anyone I dated.. I just went with it to... kill.. time...,” Kazuma slowly realized what he was saying and hung his head low. “Wow, I am horrible..”

“I was kidding Kazuma,” Chrono laughed.

–

“I can't believe I have a project due in two weeks...,” Chrono grumbled while waiting for Kazuma at the shoe lockers after school.

“Speaking of assignments, I have two papers to write. They're due in two weeks, too,” Kazuma sighed.

“AW MAN, FOR REAL?!,” Chrono complained. “Ugh... This sucks... We just started dating, too..”

“Guess we'll just have to settle for study dates till we're free,” Kazuma closed his shoe locker and slung his bag over his shoulder. “C'mon.”

“Oh, Kazuma.”

“What is it?”

“Uh.. do you wanna.. Uhm..,” Chrono looked away with reddened cheeks.

“Shindou?,” Kazuma raised a brow. He blinked when he felt something touch his hand and looked down. Chrono tapped his hand lightly with his own and Kazuma grew red. “O-Oh...,” he realized and looked down at his feet before he held out his hand for the other to take. Chrono linked their hands together, but it took them a couple of times adjusting their hands before they finally figured out what was comfortable for them.

“Wow, we don't even know how to hold hands,” Chrono snickered to himself.

“We figured it out in the end, didn't we?,” Kazuma laughed.

“Yeah, we did.”

–

It was Thursday and Kazuma went over to Chrono's place after school so they could work on their homework. They were supposed to work on homework. But instead Kazuma had Chrono pinned down on his bed and was kissing him. Funny thing was they actually did start out doing homework, but Chrono insisted that they take a break. And then Chrono kissed him a little. Kazuma kissed him back. And then they kissed. And kissed. And now here they were.

“Can I take off your shirt..?,” Kazuma mumbled against Chrono's lips.

“Wh-huh??,” Chrono blinked quickly.

“I'm not gonna do anything else..,” Kazuma mentioned.

“Ahhh..,” Chrono hesitated, but he eventually nodded.

Kazuma sat up and made quick work of the buttons, opened it up, and dipped down leave a trail of kisses down Chrono's chest, stomach, and abdomen. His hands caressed Chrono's sides tenderly.

“Heheh.. That tickles,” Chrono giggled and Kazuma smiled up at him. Then he returned to Chrono's lips for a second before he moved to his ear.

“Shindou..,” he whispered and just barely grazed his teeth on Chrono's earlobe. The other shivered.

“CHRONO!!! I'M HOME!!!,” called Mikuru-san.

The two broke apart so fast. Luckily Chrono's door was closed.

–

Come the following Monday, it had been a week since Kazuma was assigned his papers. He'd made good progress. All the research was done, he had outlines for both of them, all that was left was to actually write them. And he should've been working on them. Instead, he was out of breath from having practically ran back home after walking Chrono to work. They had made out in the break room before Chrono went out onto the floor. And Kazuma was turned on. He tried to distract his mind, but he kept thinking about Chrono. So he gave up.

He went straight to his room and locked his door even though his mom wouldn't be home from work for another few hours. He leaned against the door, dropped his bag, and took several deep breaths as he stared at his too tight pants. Kazuma had masturbated before. But he did it so rarely since he never really got urges. He only really started to do it more when he met Chrono. During U20 he just thought he was going through something, but when he realized he liked Chrono, it made sense. Since they had started dating, he hadn't done anything. He'd managed to keep himself from having to. Not that he forced himself to, but he was just able to calm down. Maybe that's why he couldn't get himself to relax today.

Kazuma began to undo his belt and pants. He was so sensitive already and it kind of pissed him off for some reason. He let his pants fall to the ground and reached inside his boxers nervously. He never did it when thinking about someone specific. Usually he just kind of felt horny and finished off quickly, but this time, Chrono clouded his mind. When he grabbed himself, he bit down on his lip and exhaled through his nostrils before he started to rub. He stopped immediately because it DIDN'T. FEEL. RIGHT. He rolled his eyes at himself then stomped over to his desk to grab his lotion. He found an empty place against his wall since he didn't want to do it on his bed and risk dirtying his sheets that he would forever feel guilty about while washing.

From there he pulled off his boxers, surprisingly still pretty hard and sat down. He squeezed a generous amount of lotion on his hand and began to rub. He flinched at first because it was cold, but he closed his eyes to imagine Chrono. He thought about how he would do it. He would probably be shy at first and go slowly until he pulled some sounds out of Kazuma. So Kazuma experimented with what felt good. The long and slow pulls felt really nice, so he settled on those for a bit as his breathing grew more and more labored. He imagined Chrono whispering something to him. He couldn't even make out the words, but something about fantasizing hearing his low voice and feeling his hot breath made Kazuma moan and lulled his head to the side.

At this point, Chrono would probably have felt more bold at having elicited a moan from the other. So Kazuma sped up his pace. His toes curled, his body shivered, and he bit down on his lip to keep his voice from escaping. He would rather not hear himself make really embarrassing sounds, but as he got closer and closer to the edge, he panted harder, moaned a little louder, and even quietly cried out “Shindou” between heavy breaths till he finished.

–

On Wednesday Kazuma and Chrono were actually focused on their assignments. They were in Chrono's room. Kazuma sat on Chrono's bed, typing away on his laptop while Chrono was at his desk busy on his laptop with books and notes scattered on the desk. It was silent between the two for while till Chrono groaned which made Kazuma look up.

“I'M SO STIFF!!,” Chrono stretched his arms above his head. “Ugh...”

“Let's take a break then. We've been at it for a few hours. It's already 7,” Kazuma suggested, closing his laptop.

“How far did you get?,” Chrono shut his laptop and joined Kazuma on the bed.

Kazuma also stretched and yawned. “I have two more things to cover in this paper. Turn around. You look like you need a massage.”

“M'kay,” Chrono listened and sat cross legged on the bed with his back to the other.

“Just relax,” Kazuma said and put his hands on Chrono's shoulders. He felt knots in his muscles and massaged them carefully, but also dug his thumbs down to get deep and Chrono moaned quietly. Kazuma twitched.

“Mm.. Right there..,” Chrono breathed out as Kazuma worked out the knots in his muscles. “Nn... Ahh...”

“Sh.. Shindou..,” Kazuma choked.

“What?”

“You.. make a lot.. of.. sounds..,” Kazuma hid his face on Chrono's back.

The other straightened his back right away. “S-Sorry!... It feels really good though..”

“S-Stop,” Kazuma laughed, squeezing Chrono's shoulders. “You're making it worse.”

“Sorry sorry!!,” Chrono laughed along with him.

“What even was the date today?,” Kazuma asked as he fell back on a pillow.

“Hmm..,” Chrono crawled to the end of his bend to reach his phone with mild struggle. “Iiiiiiit's... The 29th.”

“Oh. It's my birthday tomorrow,” Kazuma remembered.

“WHAT?!,” Chrono nearly fell off the bed, but scrambled back up to get in Kazuma's space, pinning him down. “Why didn't you tell me sooner???”

“I.. didn't think it was that big a deal.. I never really celebrated my birthday.. Though my mom would always get me a gift every year and make dinner.. Hmm.. now I wonder what she's making for dinner.”

“K-Kazuma, we should do something!!,” Chrono flowered kisses all over the other's face which made him laugh lightheartedly.

“No! It's fine Shindou! Haha!!,” Kazuma pushed at him, but with no intention to make him get off. “Besides, we're busy with these projects.”

“Mmmm.. Then let's do something now,” Chrono whispered into his ear.

Kazuma swallowed audibly. “What did you have in mind..?”

“I dunno..,” Chrono kissed his neck then looked at him with a different expression that he had never really seen in his eyes before. “What do you want me to do..?”

“Isn't Mikuru-san home?,” Kazuma said in a low voice as Chrono kissed him deeply. He'd gotten so much better at kissing. It made Kazuma dizzy.

“Then you should probably keep your voice down,” Chrono breathed and kissed him again. He bit lightly at Kazuma's bottom lip and Kazuma didn't even know when Chrono started to feel up his abs. Kazuma pushed him off and Chrono sat back to watch him unbutton his shirt in a hurry, then pulled off his undershirt and tossed them both aside. Once Kazuma tossed them, Chrono returned to him to kiss him slowly and passionately. Every move was calculated and meaningful. Kazuma carded his fingers through Chrono's hair and tried to kiss him harder, but Chrono made sure he didn't rush which made Kazuma whine. But when he licked at Kazuma's mouth and tangled his tongue with his, Kazuma couldn't hold back the moan he felt in his throat.

All Kazuma could hear were the lewd sounds of their kissing and the loud thumps thumps of his heart. Chrono's hands all over his body make him shiver and he arched his back up when Chrono left his mouth to bite down on his neck. His hands traced his spine with feather light touches and it drove Kazuma INSANE. “Shin.. Shindou,” he gasped, turning his neck to the side for the other suck down where he bit and mark him correctly.

After Chrono pulled away from him, Kazuma's breathing was heavy and his pants were definitely tight, but Chrono stopped touching him all over. His hands were frozen in place and Kazuma didn't know what happened. When he opened his eyes, Chrono had a look of extreme embarrassment. His face and ridiculously flushed and his eyes were wide, pupils blown out.

“Shindou??”

“Ahhh!! I can't believe I just did that!!!,” Chrono whined and hid his face by Kazuma's neck.

“Wh-What?? Keep it down! What'd you do???,” Kazuma suddenly felt panicked.

“I.. gave you a hickey.”

“Wh... Yeah?,” Kazuma looked at him like he was crazy, but Chrono was still so embarrassed. “You sounded like you were gonna do much more than that???”

“I WAS IN THE MOMENT!!,” Chrono whispered loudly. “Besides!! I was trembling so hard the entire time!! DIDN'T YOU NOTICE??? I'm glad you stripped yourself cause I surely would've failed at it!!”

Kazuma just stared at him, then started to laugh. He laughed so hard that tears started to prickle at the corners of his eyes. “You're such a loser..,” he pulled him down for a soft kiss.

“Sorry.. I'm not ready yet..,” Chrono murmured against Kazuma's lips.

“There's no rush..,” Kazuma smiled.

“Happy early birthday.”

“Thank you.. so much,” Kazuma nuzzled Chrono's nose with his.

“You want me to make breakfast tomorrow morning?”

“Please.”

–

“It's been two weeks since you guys have started dating and you haven't officially gone on a date?!,” Tokoha yelled at them through the computer screen.

“OW TOKOHA!!! You're too loud!,” Chrono complained. “Besides, we've been really busy with school!!”

“Poor Shouji-kun. Must feel neglected,” Tokoha wiped a fake tear.

“I'm right here and no, I don't,” Kazuma said with an unamused look. “We usually work on our homework and stuff together, so I'm always around him anyways.”

“But you guys probably already did that before!!,” Tokoha put a hand on her head with a sigh. 

“Look, Kazuma has a paper due tomorrow and the other due on Friday. My project is due on Wednesday,” Chrono scratched his head. “I'll take him on a date this weekend.”

“You will?,” Kazuma raised a brow questioningly.

“Yes!,” Chrono said.

“You better! Shouji-kun, tell me if he flakes out on you,” Tokoha pointed at him.

“Yes ma'am!,” Kazuma laughed.

“I won't flake on him! You both know I'm not like that..,” Chrono turned away, pouting.

“Chrono, we're just joking,” Tokoha laughed.

“You know we are,” Kazuma joined, but Chrono kept his back to him. So Kazuma made a sly grin and kissed the nape of his neck which caused Chrono to flinch.

“K-Kazuma!! Not in front of Tokoha!!,” Chrono rubbed his neck with red cheeks while he scolded him.

“It's not like you haven't told her everything about our first kisses,” Kazuma shot back at him and Tokoha howled with laughter.

Chrono squinted at both of them. “Who's side are you on?”

“My own,” he stuck out his tongue.

“You're such a brat!!,” Chrono slung his arm around Kazuma's neck and gave him a noogie while Kazuma just kept laughing. “I can't believe I'm dating you!”

“Ewww you guys are so cute!!,” Tokoha cooed. “Oh! Looks like I should get going. I'll catch up with you guys later. But I'm serious about the date. You need to take Shouji-kun on a date Chrono!! You guys jumped the gun by making out before the first date, haha!”

This time both of them turned red and Tokoha snickered at their reactions before she told them goodbye and hung up on the video chat. Chrono said something about going to the bathroom and left Kazuma in Chrono's room to finish his paper. But Kazuma's mind was distracted with the promise of a date.


	11. Chapter 11

Chrono told him that they would meet at his place at noon on Saturday, but Kazuma's excitement had him up at 8AM. He decided to just use the morning to relax himself after a stressful couple of weeks of nonstop work. He made himself omurice for breakfast and turned on that Thai drama that he and Chrono were watching some weeks ago at his place. His mind mostly wandered. He didn't know what Chrono had planned since he told him that he would take care of all the planning for the date thus Kazuma was in the dark. Something about the mystery made him even more excited though. Chrono's never dated anyone before, so he wondered what kind of date he would take him on. The dates Kazuma went on weren't memorable, but he remembered somethings like going to the movies and eating out.

His mom sat next to him on the couch with a cup of coffee. “You're up early today. You have plans?”

Kazuma swallowed the food that was in his mouth and nodded. “Yeah. Shindou's taking me out today.”

“Oh he is? That's very sweet! I still haven't gotten to meet him Kaz. That's not fair!,” she fake pouted and Kazuma sweat dropped.

“Uh, yeah well.. He said he's not ready to meet you yet. He wants to make a good impression or something. This is our first date so, he probably at least wants to get that out of the way first,” Kazuma explained and took another bite of his food.

“That so? Now that I think about it, you two have been dating for a few weeks.”

“Two weeks actually.. And I've been busy with my essays. You know that. And Shindou had a project and he has a part time job,” Kazuma continued. “So there wasn't much time to really think about it I guess.”

“That makes sense. So where's he treating my Kaz today?,” his mom smiled.

“I actually dunno. He didn't tell me,” Kazuma shrugged while sipping his orange juice.

“Oooh! A surprise! That oughta be exciting!”

“Yeah haha.. tell me about it. I'm really excited, but I'm also nervous,” Kazuma tucked a tuft of hair behind his ear. “Honestly, whatever he's got planned, I'll probably love it either way.”

He and his mom chatted for the rest of the morning, even after they finished their breakfast. Occasionally, they would pay attention to the show Kazuma put on, but they preferred catching up on each other's weeks since they didn't have a chance to sit down and talk in a while. Around 10:30 Kazuma retreated to get ready. He took a shower to freshen up and brushed his teeth, but when he pulled his boxers on and looked at his closet, he panicked. _WHAT DO I WEAR???_

Kazuma stared at his closet for a couple minutes before he finally decided to send a text to Amu.

ME 10:57 AM  
[ First date with Shindou today. Please face time. Dunno what to wear. ]

CHOUNO AMU 10:58 AM  
[ Oh boy! Give me and Luna about 10 minutes. We're almost done with our makeup!! <3 ]

Kazuma nodded and put his phone down on his desk so he could at least try and pick some clothes that might look good. _I dunno why I'm stressing over this.. I never really cared what I wore before.. I doubt Shindou would care what I wear, but..._ Kazuma sighed and began digging through his closet. Before he knew it, his phone went off and he answered immediately.

“Morning Kazuma!!,” Amu and Luna greeted. They wore sparkly eyeshadow that matched their respective colours and their highlights popped more than usual. Not that Kazuma knew anything about makeup, but he was starstruck by these two.

“Y-You both look really nice..,” he murmured his compliment, but they heard him anyway and giggled.

“Thank you,” Amu said and made a peace sign with her fingers. “Enough about us! We gotta do this quick! Luna and I have to be out at 11:30.”

“That's fine cause I gotta meet with Shindou at noon.”

“Perfect. Whatcha got for us?,” Luna asked first.

Kazuma set down his phone so that it got a full body shot of his outfit which consisted of blue denim jeans and a plain white button up shirt.

“Hmm.. Too plain I think,” Luna said.

“Yeah, it looks nice, but definitely too plain. It kinda makes me think about what you wore during U20, except even that looked more appealing,” Amu critiqued.

“Ahh.. Alright then..,” Kazuma bit his lip then went off screen to change into a different outfit. This time he pulled on white capri pants with black grommet belt and a navy button up. “How about this..?”

“Maybe not white. If you're gonna go out to eat, you never know if you accidentally spill something on yourself,” Luna pointed out.

“Shit.. You're right,” Kazuma tsk'd.

“How about you show us some of the clothes you picked out and we can try and match something. Might be faster that way?,” Amu suggested.

“Sounds good,” Kazuma said and brought the phone to the pile of clothes on his bed. “There's the shirts there and the bottoms there..”

“You own a lot of button ups!!,” Luna noticed.

“I like them okay..,” Kazuma blushed.

“It's alright! Button ups are nice!,” Luna laughed. “Oh, what about that dark blue top between the light blue and light green one?”

Kazuma pulled it out. It was a dark blue button down with ¾ sleeves with the cuffs, placket, collar, and pocket a floral patterned fabric that was actually really nice, but Kazuma didn't really have a reason to really dress up so he probably kept glossing over it whenever he picked clothes.

“Oh, I like that one a lot!,” Amu said. “Definitely wear that. Let's find you some pants to match!”

Kazuma put the shirt aside and they focused on the pants next. “Uh, what about this one?,” he asked, pulling out a pair black jeans.

“Put it on with the shirt and if you have a white belt, try it too!,” Amu instructed.

Kazuma put the shirt on and pulled on the jeans. They were slim fit and he actually didn't wear these often either. He needed to go through his clothes. Then he looked through his belts and found a white grommet belt and slipped it around the belt loops of his pants. He revealed to the girls after a moment. Amu whistled and Luna wooed.

“Turn around and pose Kazzykins!!,” Luna motioned with her hand.

_K-Kazzykins?_ He made a face that they probably didn't see, but he turned around and posed with his hand on his hip. He felt silly.

“Oh myyy!! Hottie with a body!!,” Amu cheered along with Luna. “Look at your butt!!”

“Oh my god,” Kazuma broke the pose to cover his face from the embarrassment. “Stop.. Please. Is this fine?”

“Definitely!! Oh!! Also, wear a white undershirt and keep the collar button undone. That way you don't look too formal in case he wants to be a bit casual,” Luna advised. “And what kind of shoes do you have?”

“I have... these black boots,” Kazuma pulled up a pair of low rise leather black boots with laces and the idol duo gave him a thumbs up. So with that he pulled them on and gave them another spin and a couple of poses before they gave him the okay.

“Thanks a lot you two,” Kazuma bowed.

“Not a problem Kazuma,” Amu winked. “Call us whenever you need anything!! Oh, and don't forget a jacket! It's cold outside and it'll get even colder tonight!!”

“Good luck on your date sweetie!,” Luna smiled. The two blew him a kiss which made him blush even more before they hung up.

Kazuma wheezed. They were always a time to deal with, but he was thankful for them nonetheless. He looked at himself in the mirror and.. _Damn.. I really do look good.._ He turned to look at his butt since Amu said it looked good and he just.. felt so embarrassed. The pants did show the shape of his butt really nicely and.. _Why am I so concerned about this. I feel myself burning up.._ Kazuma cleared his throat and went to the bathroom.

He opened up the medicine cabinet and pulled out a little box with earrings inside. His mom let him get his ears pierced when he started middle school because he thought earrings were nice, but he normally never wore his earrings because he was called a girl for wearing them back in middle school. A part of him always thought that wasn't quite right, but he still felt embarrassed. Now he felt more empowered and wanted to wear them again. The only pair he had were black studded earrings. He put them in and decided he would wear them. They gave a nice touch, although it was subtle.

“You're wearing your earrings again?,” came his mom's voice from the door.

Kazuma glanced over to her and smiled. “Yeah. I thought it would be nice to start wearing them again.”

“I think they make you look very handsome,” she walked over and put her hands on his shoulders, looking at him in the mirror. “I heard you talking on the phone. Did your friends help you pick this outfit?”

“Haha.. They did.”

“They sounded like girls. Was it those idols you mentioned before?”

“Yep.”

His mom looked at him in the mirror a moment longer before kissing his cheek. “My boy. You've made such beautiful friends and you've grown up to be so handsome. I hope you know that I'm always proud of you.”

Kazuma pouted, but he couldn't hide the blush that crept onto his cheeks. “Th-Thanks mom..”

“Anytime,” she said and pulled him into a hug. He hugged her back. “I love you Kaz. Have fun today.”

“I will. And I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh!! I was gonna make this and the date one whole chapter, but THEN IT WOULD BE SO LONG???? So I split it up, cause the date is a really long chapter <3
> 
> This interaction was so cute to write!! I love the Rum Lab girls with all my heart and writing them makes me so so happy!! I want Kazuma to have more interaction with them in G Z. BUSHIROAD COME ON???
> 
> Also IT'S THE END OF SEMESTER CRUNCH TIME!! I have two big assignments due next week, but I'm feeling pretty good??? Ahhh!!


	12. Chapter 12

Kazuma ended up putting on a dark blue pea coat with light brown buttons, a white scarf, and some black gloves since it ended up being way colder that he expected. He knocked on the door to Chrono's home feeling sick and anxious. _It's just Shindou. We've seen each other every day and we've made out and.. I don't get why I'm so nervous..._ He took a few deep breaths before he heard footsteps approach the door. He stiffened when it unlocked and when it opened, it revealed Chrono. He dawned a white button down short sleeveed shirt that had a striped design on the inside hem of the sleeve that showed since it buttoned up. The same stripe pattern was on the inside of the collar of the shirt and the buttons were a light brown colour. The shirt was unbuttoned and he was wearing a navy blue shirt beneath it and dark khaki joggers with slip on navy blue shoes. He looked... really good.

“Holy shit, it's cold!!,” Chrono shivered as he hugged himself and pulled Kazuma out of his thoughts. He almost forgot it was cold. “Get inside, I'm gonna grab a jacket and my stuff.”

“Hello to you, too,” Kazuma smiled to himself, but followed Chrono into the warmth of his home.

“Sorry, hi! It's just that it was literally not this cold yesterday. You know! We were at school and it wasn't this cold,” Chrono complained.

Kazuma shed off his coat for the time being and leaned against the couch while Chrono scrambled around his home for things. “You look nice,” Kazuma said.

“Ah! Thanks. Thank Shion later for making sure I don't embarrass myself on my first date!,” Chrono called from his room.

“Kiba huh? Not even Anjou?”

“I woulda called Tokoha for fashion help, but it's like 5 in the mornin' where she is. I'd feel bad for wakin' her up,” Chrono said as he walked back into the living room with a red scarf, a light grey coat, and his wallet, phone, and keys in hand. He stuffed them into his pockets then put a hand on his hip, looking Kazuma up and down before he whistled. “Look at you. Who dressed ya?”

“... Rummy Labyrinth,” Kazuma scratched his cheek lightly.

“Looks like I'll have to thank them later,” Chrono winked and then pointed at Kazuma's ear. “Whoa, Kazuma! When did you get your ears pierced?”

Kazuma felt his ears burn and touched his earrings out of embarrassment. “O-Oh yeah.. I got them pierced a while ago, but I didn't wear them. Do they look bad?? I kinda—”

“Stop don't hide them,” Chrono took his hand and pulled it away from his ear. “They look good. You should wear them more often.”

“Uh.. Thanks.”

“Course,” Chrono smiled. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah. Where to?,” Kazuma asked as he pulled his jacket back on and followed Chrono to the door.

“We're headin' to Shibuya!!”

–

Chrono ended up taking him to the Cosmo Planetarium Shibuya. They stopped by a cafe to pick up some warm drinks and sandwiches to eat before heading in. Chrono bought their tickets at the machine while Kazuma looked through his phone. “Hey, we're gonna watch the program that's in an hour,” Chrono walked over and gave Kazuma his ticket.

“Okay. What should we do in the mean time?,” Kazuma asked.

“There's actually a lot of cool exhibits and displays here. This is my first time going here, but I looked into it a lot because I've always wanted to go. I think there's a lot we could learn,” Chrono informed. “There's also a place called the 'Forest Library' and it has over 10,000 books on nature, the stars, and the universe. I thought that would be interesting to check out after the planetarium program for a little while before we go eat dinner.”

“Hmm.. Alright,” Kazuma nodded. He put his ticket in his wallet then the two of them walked into the exhibits. There were tons of ridiculously interesting things: machines and bots that had gone out into space; each with a short reading about them, images from space that revealed different stars, constellations, and planets with labels of which were which, and even real meteorites and asteroids. He and Chrono would take turns reading each of the exhibits aloud to each other. There was even a cute photo op area that Chrono insisted they take selfies in. Kazuma begrudgingly accepted, but he actually enjoyed taking them with the other. In one of the selfies, he snuck a kiss on Chrono's cheek. It was the only one he took on his phone.

Chrono's interest in all the exhibits was so intriguing. His eyes lit up whenever he learned something new or exceedingly interesting and he would often pull out his phone to take pictures of the exhibits probably to look into more later. All the while Kazuma would just watch him in awe. Chrono's excitement and passion for the space sciences made Kazuma's heart squeeze. _Who knew that someone else's happiness could cause your own happiness?_

“Kazuma, it's almost time. Let's go,” Chrono reached his hand out to him. Kazuma nodded and took the red head's hand and followed him into the Planetarium. As if the lobby of all the exhibits wasn't already incredible; the space itself was amazing. Kazuma looked around in wonder. The program hadn't even started, but it was breathtaking by itself with seats already mostly filled with families, groups of friends, and other couples. The inside was a dome and it was odd, but fascinating at the same time. Chrono tugged him along to their seats closest to the wall, mostly away from others. The seats were comfortable and even reclined.

They settled into their seats, hands still linked. After a couple minutes of waiting, the dome went dark and the program started. Kazuma never had that much of an interest in space and the history of space. He thought astronomy was rather uninteresting because he never took the time to really look into it, but throughout the program, he listened intently. The dome was blanketed with projections of the night sky and images that matched what the presenter would talk about. Occasionally, he would glance over at Chrono. Starry eyed, starstruck Chrono. His mouth was slightly open as he marveled in the scenes, images, and information.

Kazuma squeezed his hand lightly, which caught his attention. Chrono made an embarrassed smile and Kazuma just looked at him with adoration. _Was it possible to adore someone so much after such a short amount of time?_ Kazuma wondered to himself. Chrono motioned for him to lean closer to him and when Kazuma did, Chrono leaned in and pressed a kiss to the other's lips. He had begun to develop a certain style of kissing. They were usually soft and gentle compared to Kazuma's more aggressive and possessive ones. He loved it when Chrono took control of kisses. He was careful and seemed to take his time like he had all the time in the world. Sometimes Kazuma would fully believe that time stopped.

When he felt Chrono break the kiss, Kazuma's eyes remained closed for a moment longer before opening slowly. He was met with Chrono's dimly illuminated eyes that seemed to glow as brightly as the stars on the projection. Kazuma could see a universe inside of those eyes. A universe that was only his. He wondered briefly if Chrono felt the same. Chrono moved his thumb gently across Kazuma's hand before he returned his attention to the program. Kazuma did the same and let himself be lost in the stars.

Somewhere near the last 15 minutes of the program, Kazuma had laid his head on Chrono's shoulder and Chrono laid his head on Kazuma's while they listened to the program. The voice was almost enough to lull Kazuma to sleep because it was soothing. He managed to stay awake since he didn't want to miss the projections. When it finished, the two took their time to get up and stretch out after having sat for about an hour.

“What'd you think?,” Chrono asked when they exited the room.

“I actually really enjoyed it,” Kazuma replied. “I didn't expect to be as interested in all of it as I was.”

“That's great!! Ready to check out the Forest Library?”

“For sure.”

The two made their way to the Forest Library and paid their coin to be able to enter. Kazuma felt a little overwhelmed from all the books and volumes that surrounded them. He'd never really felt that when he went to libraries since he never went leisurely. He usually went when he had to research something and therefore had specific books to look at. Here there were shelves upon shelves of books of all kinds of things in nature and space. He followed Chrono to a section of book volumes about galaxies and planets. He knew exactly what piqued Chrono's interest.

“I wonder.. if Cray is in any of these books,” Chrono mumbled quietly, but loud enough for Kazuma to hear. “Where to even start?”

“It's only 2:53. We've got a lot of time unless you made a reservation,” Kazuma said.

“I didn't, but I did wanna go eat at 7.”

“Then we'll look through all of them until 7.”

“Are you sure?,” Chrono asked with a hint of surprise in his voice.

“Shindou, there's so much you can learn from these collections. It would be a shame to not take advantage of the time we have here,” Kazuma smiled gently.

“You won't get bored though? Today's our first date,” Chrono said solemnly.

“Anything you had planned for today would have made me really happy. And this is more than I ever could have asked for,” Kazuma said firmly. “Let's check out these books. I'm pretty interested myself.”

So, the two picked out a couple of volumes each to bring back to the seats and read. If either found something fascinating, they would share it. Other times they were so absorbed in their reading that it felt like the world around them disappeared. Kazuma's brain took in all the information he read over. There were planet and galaxy names, theories of life on different planets that had similar properties to Earth. He would pay close attention to those in case anything seemed like Cray, but none seemed to be able to measure up to Earth's ability to produce life.

A couple of times he would notice Chrono get up from his seat and return the books to their respective shelves, only to come back with more volumes. His focus reminded Kazuma of when he would cardfight. His dedication was admirable and Kazuma felt like he could just watch him. The way his eyebrows would furrow and his eyes would rake across a page. Sometimes he would cock his head and Kazuma assumed he had to reread something that didn't make sense. Other times his expression would transform into something that seemed unamused, but Kazuma could tell that it was Chrono in deep thought; considering the words he took in and the theories presented to him.

As much as Kazuma admired Chrono's interest, a part of him felt envious. Chrono had found something that completely swallowed his attention. Something to want to work towards even if it took him his entire life. Kazuma tapped his fingers on the book laid out in front of him, not reading it. _What's interesting to me..? I don't really know of anything that I really want to pursue._ Kazuma chewed on his lip as he thought hard to himself. He really wondered if he would find something that he would want to devote his life to.. Otherwise he would just become a white collared worker at some company and do the same thing every day for the rest of his life. Not really moving forward, but not really moving backward either. His thoughts went dark at the idea. A boring life. Nothing to want to live for. Nothing to want to pursue. What.. What was the point?

“Kazuma?”

Kazuma looked over at Chrono. His face was laced with confusion and suddenly worry.

“Are you alright?,” Chrono asked.

He realized his expression must have grown dark from his disturbing thoughts and he immediately forced it away with a smile. “Yeah, I am. Sorry I was thinking about something.”

“Alright. Well, it's 6:37. We should head out so we can get dinner.”

–

They ended up taking a short walk to a katsu place called Tonkatsu Maisen Tokyu-Toyoko Restaurant. It was pretty busy and the interior was rather nice. They were seated after a few minutes of waiting and while the waiter left to get their drinks, Kazuma questioned Chrono, “How much is this place?”

“It's not too bad unless you try to the more expensive items. But seriously, Kazuma. Order whatever you want. I got it covered,” Chrono dismissed his shocked expression.

“You paid for the train ticket and for the planetarium. I can pay for my own food.”

Chrono tsk'd. “No, I'll pay man! I said I was taking you out on this date, so I'll pay.”

“But—”

“That means you'll be paying next time,” Chrono smirked at him. “Now order something.”

After they ordered, they chatted about what they found interesting in the books that they didn't share earlier since there was no reason to talk about their weeks cause they were together for the majority of it. Once they got their food, both of them were blown away. It tasted delicious and Kazuma really considered going out to eat with Chrono more often just so they could try out all these different restaurants. He never really considered himself a food connoisseur or anyone particularly interested in cafe or restaurant hunting, but he figured if it was with Chrono, it would be worth it.

When they finished, Chrono actually did pay for all of it. He didn't let Kazuma look at the bill and he knows Chrono left a good tip. He worked a part time job, but he didn't know how much money Chrono actually made. He also didn't know what Chrono would spend his money on aside from when he went out with everyone or when new cards dropped, so maybe he did have quite a bit saved.

“Oh, it's snowing,” Chrono mentioned when they stepped out of the restaurant.

“It didn't say that in the forecast,” Kazuma looked at the light snowfall in awe.

“It'll be fine. The train station isn't far,” Chrono took Kazuma's hand.

Kazuma smiled at him. “Yeah.”

On the way back home, the two had a heated conversation about Vanguard since they recently saw an article talking about different tournaments happening around the world. They ended up looking up the results and deck lists for the winners and discussed their techniques and fight styles. It felt like a while since they talked about Vanguard what with how busy they were with school. Yeah Chrono would be at work and of course help people with playing or choosing decks, but whenever Kazuma stayed with him while he was at work, he was still working on homework. It felt nice that their bigger obligations were out of the way for a little while.

Kazuma walked Chrono back to his place in the snow in silence when they got off the train. It was a comfortable silence. The trek back was illuminated by the street lights, but it was quiet and peaceful. Kazuma almost forgot about the cold as he focused on the way Chrono's gloved hand felt against his, the sound of their shoes when they tapped against the sidewalk that had yet to be covered in snow, and their breath that escaped their mouths. Kazuma snuck glances at the other whose eyes were trained ahead. Sometimes he couldn't tell what Chrono was thinking. Like now. What was he thinking?

“We're here,” Chrono said as they stopped at his front door. Kazuma didn't even notce. “Did you have fun?”

“It was the best date I'd ever been on,” Kazuma told him truthfully. “I really did enjoy it.”

“Good! I'm glad!! I was worried you would think it was lame since I kinda got excited and it felt like I picked the planetarium more for myself,” Chrono played with his bangs.

“No. It was perfect,” Kazuma assured him and leaned in for a kiss. Chrono kissed him back, but they pulled away after a couple seconds. Kazuma leaned his head on Chrono's shoulder and took a deep breath. They stayed there like that for a few minutes. Kazuma didn't want to leave. He saw Chrono every day, but he didn't want to leave this warmth and security he felt. “Thanks for tonight.”

“Of course. Text me when you get home, okay?,” Chrono whispered.

“I will...”

“Get home quickly, too,” Chrono nagged quietly. “I don't want you getting sick.”

“Haha.. I got it,” Kazuma's voice was muffled.

Chrono went into his house with difficulty cause Kazuma didn't want to let go of him and kept insisting they stay like that longer, but eventually Chrono convinced him to let go since both of them were getting cold and it was late. Chrono did offer for him to stay over, but Kazuma turned him down since Chrono worked the next day. He would end up keeping him up all night and feel bad. The walk home was quiet, but it wasn't a comfortable quiet when he walked Chrono home. The streets felt gloomier and the cold blew right through him. He had a lot on his mind, but at the same time he wasn't thinking about anything at all. What a weird thing the mind was...

When Kazuma finally got home and opened the door, he saw an extra pair of shoes at the entrance.

_Huh?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I'm sorry this chapter is late!! Last week was finals week, and even tho I didn't have tests, I had big projects that I spent a lot of time on and I also went to a convention this past weekend, so I wanted to take it easy. I already had this chapter typed out a while ago (I'm several chapters ahead as usual!!), but I didn't get the chance to beta read it fully till now (and I prob still have mistakes here and there, but it's fine haha!)
> 
> So, I spent a lot of time researching for this date when I wrote this chapter!! Both the planetarium and the restaurant they go to are real places and I made sure they were within decent distance of each other so everything is as accurate as I could have possibly found without ever having been there! It was extremely fun and interesting to do though, and I would actually love to go there one day! I love love love planetariums and I assumed it was the perfect thing for their date!
> 
> I feel like this chapter was a lot of introspection on Kazuma's part.


	13. Chapter 13

“Mom, who's here?,” he asked as he toed off his shoes and went to the kitchen where he saw his mom with an unexpected guest. “B-BROTHER?!”

“Good evening Kazuma!,” Kazumi greeted him cheerily.

“What're you doing here? It's late,” Kazuma sighed a bit irritatedly.

“I can't say hi to my step mom and baby brother?”

“I mean, you can.”

“Kaz, stop sassing him, haha,” Kazuma's mom pinched his cheek. “Listen to what he has to say.”

“But he's—urgh.. Fine.”

Kazumi smiled a moment longer before it fell and his eyes turned serious. “Father wants to see you again.”

If Kazuma were drinking something he would've spit it out so hard it would hurt. But since he wasn't, he settled on a dumbstruck expression and no words.

“I know. It was a surprise to me as well,” Kazumi sighed. “He said he wanted to see how you both were doing. I was actually quite furious with him because after all these years, why would he suddenly care? After all these years of putting the two of you through such hardship. But he said that since I'm still unsure if I want to take over the family, he wants to see if you would.”

“Like hell I would!!,” Kazuma spat. “Who does he think he is?!”

“Kazuma, wait, think about it,” his mom put a hand on his shoulder. “I don't forgive your father for what he put us through, but... this could be a great opportunity for you, don't you think? You wouldn't have to worry about finances or anything.”

“But—“

“You can think about it more Kazuma,” Kazumi smiled at him again and pat his head. “Do what you think is right for you. I just wanted to relay the message.”

“Oh dear, Kazumi-kun! You're not leaving now are you? It's so late. Won't you stay the night?,” Kazuma's mom offered.

“Ah! Thank you very much Shouji-san!,” Kazumi bowed. “But that won't be necessary. I couldn't impose on the two of you. But please do ask me if you need anything.”

“Hmm.. Okay then. Be careful on your way back, alright?,” she smiled.

“I will. By the way, Kazuma, why are you dressed up?”

Kazuma's mind returned to them and he looked at Kazumi with a blank expression. “Wh-what?”

Kazumi gestured to him. “Your clothes. Why are you dressed up?”

“O-Oh.. Uh.. I was just... out.”

Kazuma's mom hit his shoulder lightly. “Kaz you can tell your brother. What's the point in hiding it?”

“Hiding what?,” Kazumi looked at him with a sly expression. It made Kazuma even more annoyed some how.

“Ugh.. Whatever.. I was on a date.”

“NO WAY! WAS IT WITH SHINDOU CHRONO?!,” Kazumi immediately invaded Kazuma's personal bubble. “KAZUMA, THAT'S NOT FAIR!! I WAS THE FIRST ONE TO FIND OUT! HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME??? HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN DATING?? HAVE YOU KISSED?? DO YOU NEED DATING TIPS?? WANT ME TO BUY YOU NEW CLOTHES? WE CAN GO SHOPPING TOMOR—mppfff!!!”

Kazuma covered his brother's mouth. He was extremely red, but he couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or intense fury from Kazumi's outburst of questions. “PLEASE. BE. QUIET. FOR. ONE. SECOND,” he spoke through gritted teeth before he removed his hands from Kazumi. “Okay.. I've been dating him for a few weeks now.. Sorry I haven't told you. Both me and him got busy with school work so this was actually our first date... And no. I don't want you buying me new clothes and no I don't need dating tips.”

“Ah, that's too bad,” Kazumi shrugged, then pinched Kazuma's cheek. “But that's so cuu—te!! My baby brother is dating someone!”

“Hey, would you cut it out? I'm not a kid anymore,” Kazuma smacked Kazumi's hand away. “And what are you talking about anyways? I've dated people before..”

“Whaaat?? For real???”

“Yes, he has,” Kazuma's mom spoke up. “Though they never really lasted long and he didn't seem to care to talk about them either. Honestly, this is the first time he's told me he liked someone.”

“That so?,” Kazumi raised a brow with smirk. “So you really like this one, hm?”

Kazuma's face was extremely hot and he really wanted his mom and his brother to stop discussing this. He still couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or mad. “Shut up.. You're being too nosy...”

“Alright, alright,” Kazumi laughed a bit. “I'll take my leave before Kazuma bites my head off. Thank you again for having me Shouji-san.”

“Please call me Yuki,” Kazuma's mom said. “Shouji-san sounds too formal.”

“Ah, alright. As you wish Yuki-san,” Kazumi bowed slightly. “Good night both of you. And Kazuma, please think about what father is offering. I want you to be successful, but I want you to do it how you want to.”

“Yeah.. I got it.”

Kazuma's mom walked Kazumi to the door and Kazuma used that opportunity to escape to his room. He closed his door, leaned against it, and slid to the ground where he sat and pulled out his phone.

ME 11:42PM  
[ I'm home. Sorry I didn't text sooner. ]

SHINDOU CHRONO 11:43PM  
[ s'fine so long as youre home. ]

Kazuma thought for a moment about mentioning that Kazumi stopped by and he also debated telling him that his father wanted him to take over the family, but a part of him didn't want to bother him with it. They had a great day and some how bringing up such a thing made him feel bad. Worrying Chrono with his issues was the last thing he felt like doing. But...

ME 11:45PM  
[ You'll support me no matter what right? ]

SHINDOU CHRONO 11:46PM  
[ yeah of course!! ]  
[ … ]  
[ kaz is somethin wrong ]

ME 11:47PM  
[ No. I'm just thinking about what I should do ]  
[ You know with my future ]

SHINDOU CHRONO 11:49PM  
[ youll figure it out!! ]  
[ besides I told you that im with you no matter what ]  
[ if you need to talk about somethin pls tell me ]

ME 11:50PM  
[ I know. Haha, don't worry so much. ]  
[ Well, you have work tomorrow. Go to sleep. ]

SHINDOU CHRONO 11:50PM  
[ you sleep too ]  
[ goodnight ]  
[ ♥ ]

ME 11:51PM  
[ Goodnight ♥ ]

Kazuma's chest tightened at the heart. Chrono never used emojis. And honestly, he never did either, but the fact that he tacked it on after telling him goodnight made him feel happy. Maybe he could tell Chrono about this. They were dating after all. Chrono always seemed fine with helping him through his problems. He just felt guilty. He hadn't done a thing to help Chrono out yet. He wondered if he could ever give back as much as Chrono had given him.

–

Come Friday, Kazuma still hadn't told Chrono. He had thought about it a lot, but he didn't ever bring it up. Not with him mom and not even with Amu. He never told Amu the details of his family situation and with her being busy as an idol, he didn't want to bother her with this either. Kazumi didn't even bring it up whenever he texted him. Kazuma kept it all to himself. He hoped it would eventually die, but it always found its way back to his mind. The funny thing was... the more he thought about it, the more he felt like accepting.

If he became the head of the Onimaru family, he would be able to give his mom a break. They could move out of their small apartment and back into a nice big home. He would also finally have respect from those horrible people that worked there. And... it looked like his father finally noticed his worth. After all those years of working so hard without recognition... his father, whom he worked so hard to show that he was worthy of the Onimaru name, actually recognized him. In a place where he could never measure up to Kazumi. He was finally getting somewhere.

“Kazuma, do you wanna come over?,” Chrono pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Huh? Oh. Sure,” Kazuma nodded.

The two made their way to Chrono's home and Chrono made a beeline to the kitchen while Kazuma followed. Whenever they went to Chrono's place, it became normal for them to make food together. Kazuma's cooking was actually starting to get better and Chrono really enjoyed showing him how to make different dishes and telling him all about different spices and techniques. On today's menu was a Filipino dish, Sinigang. Chrono said he made it once before and it tasted good, but he tried it out at a local family run Filipino restaurant when he and Mikuru-san went out on Wednesday for dinner and it tasted way better, so he wanted to make it again.

“So.. you've been a bit spacey this week Kazuma,” Chrono inelegantly brought up while he cut carrots and Kazuma peeled them.

Kazuma wasn't even surprised. Of course Chrono noticed. “I've been thinking about a lot of things.”

“Then tell me what's on your mind,” Chrono said.

Kazuma sighed and stopped peeling the carrot in his hand. “Well.. after our date last Saturday, my brother was at my place.”

“Onimaru?? But.. You got home pretty late.”

“Yeah well.. he was there because... he isn't sure if he's going to take over the family, y'know?,” Kazuma spoke carefully, but he didn't dare look at Chrono. Instead he just stared hard at the carrots. “Apparently... my dad is interested in having me take over.”

“Whoa, what? Wait... Your dad who kicked you and your mom out of their family? Wants you to take over???,” Chrono asked with mild disbelief and he could tell in his tone that he was a bit pissed.

“I know, I know. He's got some nerve, but..,” Kazuma took a deep breath and decided to finally look up at Chrono. His brows were furrowed, but he wasn't exactly mad. He could see frustration, but he could tell that he was mostly worried. Of course he was. “Hear me out. I was really thinking.. maybe it wouldn't be so bad.. I wouldn't be doing for my dad in any way shape or form. But if I did this, my mom wouldn't have to work so much, if at all. And all those years of effort I put into proving to my dad that I wasn't some useless brat wouldn't be wasted.. But mostly.. it would finally give me something to work towards instead of just aimlessly meandering through life.”

Chrono just stared at him. He could almost see the gears turning in his head before he sighed and said, “I'm going to support whatever decision you make as long as you're happy.”

“Thanks.. Really,” Kazuma smiled at him, but he couldn't tell if it was genuine or forced.

“It's no problem. I just don't want you doing anything that you don't want to do fully,” Chrono leaned over to Kazuma to peck his lips, then resumed cutting carrots. “Doing something you don't want to do is rough.”

“It's fine. I think I'll have to meet with him though. I should text my brother,” Kazuma also resumed peeling the carrots.

“Do that after dinner,” Chrono pointed the knife at him lazily with narrowed eyes. “Also, do you wanna cardfight after that? You and me haven't played each other recently. I wanna see if you've been slacking.”

“As if! Whenever you're at work I'm playing with Taiyou or Kiba if he's around,” Kazuma laughed. “I also play with some people at the shop.”

“You usually turn them down,” Chrono stuck his tongue out.

“You used to turn them down right when U20 ended, too!,” Kazuma shoved him with his hip. “Taiyou was the only one to always accept matches.”

“Speaking of Taiyou, we haven't seen him recently aside from when he's able to come to the shop,” Chrono pointed out. “We should text him more often.”

“Yeah, our Striders chat has been a bit dead since U20 ended,” Kazuma handed he last peeled carrot to Chrono.

“Maybe he's free on Sunday. I'm off work,” Chrono took it and began to cut it.

“I'll text him too.”

–

After dinner and a few cardfights, the two of them were on Chrono's bed watching the drama that they had been invested in. Kazuma was half paying attention since he was texting his brother.

KAZUMI ONIISAN 8:13PM  
[ Yeah, father wants you to see him tomorrow. ]

ME 8:13PM  
[ Tomorrow? That's really soon. ]  
[ But I mean, I can. ]

KAZUMI ONIISAN 8:14PM  
[ Are you sure? ]

ME 8:18PM  
[ Yeah, it's no big deal. ]  
[ Are you gonna be there? ]

KAZUMI ONIISAN 8:19 PM  
[ Yes I will. ]  
[ Afraid to face father alone? Haha! ]

ME 8:24PM  
[ No! ]  
[ Whatever. I'll see you tomorrow. ]  
[ What time? ]

KAZUMI ONIISAN 8:25PM  
[ Probably like 11. ]  
[ For brunch! ]

ME 8:25PM  
[ Okay. Night. ]

KAZUMI ONIISAN 8:25PM  
[ Good night!! ]

“I'm gonna go to see my dad tomorrow,” Kazuma said as he returned his attention to the laptop.

“Tomorrow? That's fast,” Chrono said and paused the show to look at Kazuma. “You think you'll be alright?”

“It's my dad. He's not some psychopath,” Kazuma poked Chrono's cheek. “But he does seem really eager to get this done. My brother must really be showing that he doesn't want to take over the family.”

“He's a really good cardfighter, so I wouldn't be surprised if he went pro,” Chrono pointed out. “Do you know if he wants to?”

“I dunno. He never really talks about what he wants to do. He just doesn't want to take over the family,” Kazuma shrugged.

“Kazuma, what's the great thing about the Onimaru family anyways? Are they some kind of wealthy family like the Kibas?,” Chrono rested his head on his hand.

“The Onimarus go back many generations. They were wealthy merchants back in the day or something and held a lot of power. Now they've evolved into a huge business; though at home they uphold their traditional values. Hence needing someone to take over as the family head,” Kazuma explained. “So yeah, they're pretty wealthy. Though not as wealthy as the Kibas. But they do business with many companies all over the world.”

“Wow, that's... pretty intense. I suppose then you'll be focusing on business affairs?,” Chrono wondered.

“Probably something like that,” Kazuma tucked a tuft of hair behind his ear. “I'll do whatever it takes I guess.”

“Assuming you actually go through with it.”

“I most likely will.”

“You don't know that. You're just meeting with him.”

“Shindou, you really sound like you don't support this decision,” Kazuma raised a brow.

“You just don't sound too enthusiastic to do it,” Chrono pouted. “I support you, but you should only go into something that makes you happy.”

“... You worry about me too much,” Kazuma laughed a bit. “You're so good to me.”

“If I'm not good to you, then who will be? I know you aren't good to yourself,” Chrono made a sly grin then leaned in to kiss him. Kazuma met him halfway, closing his eyes when their lips touched. Chrono lead the kiss, but for some reason, it wasn't like his usual kisses. They started out soft, but the more they kissed, the rougher Chrono kissed him. He felt Chrono push him lightly while they kissed till Kazuma realized he wanted him on his back and he moved for him. When Chrono was above him, he licked Kazuma's lips for permission and Kazuma obliged. Of course he did.

Kazuma tangled his fingers in Chrono's hair, tugging a bit roughly to make the other moan into their heated kiss and the sound made Kazuma twitch. He felt one of Chrono's hands wander under his shirt and feel up his abs, making Kazuma arch up into the touch.

“You're really muscular Kazuma..,” Chrono mumbled into their kiss with a breathy voice. “I'd.. honestly be lying if I said I never checked you out before..”

“Ugh... Shindou..,” Kazuma panted.

“Sometimes I think about when we were training at Kanzaki's..,” Chrono left Kazuma's mouth to lick and suck at his neck. “I love seeing you shirtless.. I wonder how the rest of you looks..”

“Gods..,” Kazuma gasped. His chest heaved up and down. And he was definitely feeling it. “Shindou.. stop fucking teasing me..”

Chrono left his neck. Kazuma most definitely had a noticeable hickey there. And he had to see his dad tomorrow. Chrono's a fucking idiot, but Kazuma honestly couldn't be bothered to care as his boyfriend captured his lips again. He kissed him hard. Kazuma felt like he wanted Chrono to do something to him. Anything. He really would let him do anything to him. He almost didn't notice as Chrono began to unbutton his shirt slowly which made his kisses slow down till he broke the kiss to focus on unbuttoning his shirt fully.

“Fucking.. button..,” he heard Chrono under his labored breaths and Kazuma just laughed. “Shut up!! This is why I'm glad you did it last time!!”

“I know I know!,” Kazuma snickered.

After a few more seconds of Kazuma's lighthearted teasing and Chrono's annoyed grumbling, Chrono finally unbuttoned Kazuma's shirt fully and Kazuma actually applauded him. Chrono tickled him for that.

“STOP! STOP!! HAHAHAHA!! GODS—HAHAHA! I GIVE!!!,” Kazuma writhed as Chrono attacked his sides. “YOU ASSHOLE STOP TICKLING ME!!”

“You deserve it you jerk!,” Chrono laughed loudly while dodging whenever Kazuma tried to push him. “APOLOGIZE!!

“Hahaha! HAHA! Okay—OKAY!! I'M SORRY!!,” Kazuma shouted with tears in his eyes. Even though Chrono stopped, Kazuma still giggled and wiped his eyes. “You're such an ass, haha..”

“Not as much as you,” Chrono grinned and kissed him. “I was gonna try and get a bit spicy, but you totally killed my vibe.”

“Sorry, but you probably should've practiced unbuttoning a shirt if you were gonna do this,” Kazuma stuck out his tongue.

“I'm gonna bite your tongue,” Chrono nuzzled his nose.

“I'll bite yours first,” Kazuma nuzzled back.

“Can I spoon you?”

“Definitely.”

They maneuvered so Kazuma was the little spoon and Chrono wrapped his arms around him. He rubbed Kazuma's bare sides with his thumbs lightly and it was so comforting. If it tickled, he didn't feel it all that much.

“We could still continue,” Kazuma said.

“Mmm.. It was kinda in the moment. Besides, I'm too nervous. I don't wanna mess up,” Chrono mumbled in response.

“Yeah.. I suppose it's a bit scary to think about,” Kazuma closed his eyes and let himself be comfortable.

“Mhm... Hey... Kaz?”

“What is it?”

“Do you.. You know.. Uh..,” Chrono trailed off.

Kazuma raised a brow, but didn't move. “You can ask me anything.”

“Gods.. give me a sec..,” Chrono huffed. “Do you mmmmmasturbate?”

Now Kazuma felt his face contort into something weird, but he didn't turn around. “To you? …Well.. Honestly, yeah. Pretty frequently actually,” Kazuma said and he was honestly shocked with himself for admitting it so easily. He got quiet as his face grew warm, but noticed Chrono was quiet, too. So he continued, “I didn't really do it often before in all honesty.. Kids would talk about it, but I wasn't interested. And you know I was never really interested in the people I dated..”

“Yeah. I gotcha. Well, I haven't a lot. Maybe a few times?... I never really felt any urges to I guess. And... Sorry to say, but I haven't done it since we've started dating either...,” Chrono sounded a bit embarrassed. “I dunno if that's weird..”

“That's okay. I don't really know much about any of this myself.. I always had other things on my mind,” Kazuma shrugged. “But... I think about you a lot.”

Chrono hid his face in the hair that covered Kazuma's neck. “Now I feel bad since you've been getting off to me, but I haven't...”

“Haha! Okay. It's fine. Honestly.. I'm okay with how far we've gotten,” Kazuma turned this time to face the other.

“But when I'm with you, I do get pretty.. turned on,” Chrono mentioned.

“I.. I can tell.. haha,” Kazuma smirked at him and planted a kiss on his lips. “But y'know, if you decided you never wanted to.. have sex... I think I'd be okay with it.”

“You sure about that?,” Chrono asked, his eyes searching Kazuma's for something. Kazuma wasn't sure what.

“It might suck if I'm really feeling it, but.. I dunno if that should be something that comes between us..,” Kazuma frowned and turned back around for Chrono to continue spooning him. Immediately, Chrono rubbed circles on his sides again. “Hmm.... I make it sound like we'll be together forever, haha..” He also really wouldn't mind that though.

“We.. don't need to think about that,” Chrono kissed Kazuma's neck. “But I'll probably do it with you. When I'm ready.”

“Whenever you're ready..,” Kazuma smiled and closed his eyes. “Can we sleep?”

“You wanna sleep in these clothes? And at 9?,” Chrono questioned.

“I'm tired now.. And I'm comfortable,” Kazuma mumbled.

“At least change. We can go back to cuddling when we change. Besides, I need to turn off my laptop.”

“I'm gonna sleep in these clothes,” Kazuma pouted. “You better not get up.”

“I'm getting up.”

“SHINDOU!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay!! Another chapter!!
> 
> I honestly don't remember if there was anything in the anime about who the Onimarus were?? I looked on the wiki and of course they hadn't updated Kazuma or Kazumi and I rewatched several eps while doing homework and I didn't catch anything. So, I came up with something on the fly when I wrote this chapter~ Idk how it is, but it seemed logical enough! 
> 
> I also love writing Kazuma's mom. Even tho I'm just kinda writing her how I want cuz Bushi doesn't wanna give us anything about Kazuma's mom. Let me just imagine her as the best mom ever, okay?
> 
> Till next time my loves!!~


	14. Chapter 14

Kazuma's eyes fluttered open and he was greeted with Chrono's peaceful sleeping face. It was actually his first time waking up next to Chrono since the other was always up before him when he stayed over. Chrono's arms were around him and he breathed lightly. Kazuma examined the other's features. 

His eyebrows were thin and he could tell that he would upkeep them. His bangs fell between his eyes and he saw the dark circles under them. He noticed a couple of fading acne scars on Chrono's cheeks as well; probably from all the sweets he ate since he also usually ate pretty well. Chrono's lips weren't big, but they weren't thin either. They had a nice curve to them, though they were a little chapped from the night. He noticed a small beauty mark right by his bottom lip that he hadn't seen before. It was small though and his attention was usually always on Chrono's eyes. Kazuma moved to cuddle closer to the other which caused him to stir and yawn.

“Mm..mornin'...,” Chrono mumbled quietly, his eyes squinted and blinked several times. He tightened his hold on Kazuma slightly and Kazuma's heart squeezed.

“Good morning,” he whispered back with a smile. “I'm sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Mmmm..no,” Chrono closed his eyes again and buried his face in Kazuma's neck.

“Shindou, lemme check what time it is,” Kazuma laughed quietly. He really liked sleepy Chrono if it meant he just wanted to hold onto him the entire time.

“Nnnoo...,” Chrono's voice was muffled. “It's warm.. And comfortable.”

“I was warm and comfortable last night, but you still got up to change clothes and put your laptop away,” Kazuma teased him. Chrono groaned and it made Kazuma laugh again, but he eventually turned around to grab Kazuma's phone off the nightstand and gave it to him. “It's 7:27,” Kazuma said.

“What time did you have to see your dad today?”

“11.”

“Uuugh..,” Chrono wrapped his arms around him again. “Whatever, I guess.. I have to work today anyways. Also at 11.”

“Let's have breakfast,” Kazuma said.

It took Chrono a whole 30 minutes filled with complaints and holding Kazuma tightly before Kazuma finally got him to get out of bed. They decided that pancakes were a good idea, so Chrono opened up a new recipe that he'd been wanting to try for a while. Kazuma sat at the dining table while Chrono got busy in the kitchen.

KAZUMI ONIISAN 7:33AM  
[ Good morning, Kazuma!! ]

ME 8:01AM  
[ Morning ]

KAZUMI ONIISAN 8:03AM  
[ Are you ready for today? ]

ME 8:03AM  
[ Don't make it sound like he's dangerous or something. ]  
[ I'm starting to feel uneasy... ]

KAZUMI ONIISAN 8:08AM  
[ Haha! Sorry sorry. ]  
[ It'll probably be fine, but if you ever feel uncomfortable with anything, just let me know that you want to leave. ]  
[ I'm actually still pretty surprised you're considering it. ]

ME 8:13AM  
[ I will. ]  
[ And I dunno. I never really thought about what I wanted to do with my life and this was an opportunity that was presented to me. It doesn't hurt to wanna try it. ]

KAZUMI ONIISAN 8:15AM  
[ That's true. ]  
[ I'll see you later then Kazuma. ]

ME 8:15AM  
[ Later ]

“Pancakes are almost done,” Chrono said. “They're really fluffy. I hope that's alright.”

“Yeah, that's perfect,” Kazuma rested his chin on his hand with a fond smile.

“Do you just eat them plain? I know you don't like sweets,” Chrono leaned on the counter and smiled back.

“Just cause I don't like sweets doesn't mean everything sweet is disgusting to me,” Kazuma made an unamused face which made Chrono laugh.

“Okay okay. Syrup coming right up.”

The two talked about Vanguard over breakfast since they heard rumors about a new box in the near future. They discussed strategies and clans and how they still haven't gotten to hang out with Taiyou recently and proceeded to feel kind of bad. When they finished, Mikuru-san had walked out and Chrono jumped out of his chair to get her pancakes that he had also prepared for her. A light blush dusted her cheeks as her face was coloured with surprise and she ruffled Chrono's hair and thanked him. Chrono scratched his head with an embarrassed look and Kazuma just loved the entire interaction.

“Good morning Shouji-kun,” Mikuru-san greeted with a warm smile and a wave.

“Oh! Good morning to you too,” Kazuma returned the smile, but it felt awkward. He stood up and grabbed his plate to take to the sink. “I'm gonna go get ready to go then. Thank you for always welcoming me in your home.”

“The pleasure's all mine! But really, I should be thanking you for looking after Chrono,” Mikuru-san also ruffled Kazuma's hair which made him blush a little. “You've been good for him. Thank you, really.”

“O-Of course..,” Kazuma managed, then bowed before he retreated to the bathroom to freshen up.

Chrono joined him shortly after and the two of them washed their faces and brushed their teeth. “It's 9:47, you better hurry.”

“Oh crap, for real?,” Kazuma said as he took off his shirt to change.

“Wait, you're not gonna just wear that again, are you?,” Chrono gestured to his school uniform.

“Well you invited me over after school and I didn't go home to grab a change of clothes.”

“Borrow something of mine,” Chrono walked to his dresser and pulled out some clothes. “You're just meeting with your dad on a Saturday, so surely something kinda casual couldn't hurt, right?”

“Yeah, it should be fine. My brother said it's a brunch..?,” Kazuma shrugged. “So casual should be fine.”

“Geez, a brunch? That sounds so fancy,” Chrono grimaced with clothes in hand. “I mean, I've had brunch but not on purpose, y'know?”

“Yeah, I got it,” Kazuma laughed and took the clothes from him. It was a pair of blue denim jeans and a black long sleeved shirt.

“Also, wear this jacket cause it's cold,” Chrono also handed him a dark grey blazer style coat that was made of wool and a scarf. “There. So you're warm. Do you also need gloves?”

“I have gloves in my bag. But thank you,” Kazuma leaned in to kiss Chrono and the other kissed him back.

Everything felt so natural between the two. It hadn't been that long since they met, but Kazuma sometimes couldn't recall what life was like before they had. And he was glad for that. Maybe the negative sides of him wouldn't change, but at least when he was with Chrono, he wanted to be better.

–

As Kazuma walked up to the Onimaru household, he felt uneasy. He hadn't set foot on the property in years and he didn't have particularly any good memories here save for when he was with his brother before he got depressed. Before he could even ask for entry, Kazumi walked over to him with a wave. He wore a navy turtle neck (typical of his brother), a grey cardigan, and black pants.

“Kazuma! You made it,” he smiled. “Follow me. The table's already set. Are you feeling alright?”

“I guess so..,” Kazuma followed his brother. “It feels weird being back.”

“You can always back out,” Kazumi's smile looked a little sad now and he put a hand on Kazuma's shoulder.

“It's fine..,” Kazuma looked away with a blush.

“Mmm.. So, how's Shindou Chrono?,” Kazumi changed the subject, much to Kazuma's relief.

“Shindou's fine. He has work today,” Kazuma answered.

“Nothing else?,” Kazumi face turned sly. “Have you been hanging out?”

“Wh-What? I mean yeah. I stayed over at his pla—”

“Oooh, what'd you do? Anything fun? Interesting? Rough? Intim—”

Kazuma slapped his hands over Kazumi's mouth. His face was bright red. WHY WAS HIS BROTHER LIKE THIS??? “WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING? CAN YOU NOT???,” Kazuma wheezed. When he backed off, Kazumi was just laughing. It was irritating.

“Haha! Sorry, sorry! It's so much fun to tease you,” Kazumi tucked a tuft of hair behind his ear, still laughing. “Ah, here we are.”

Kazuma looked at the door and down the hall, recognizing it. “Did they change which rooms were what? This is the room we usually played Vanguard.”

“They did. It was remodeled a bit,” Kazumi explained. “The room that was next to this one was merged with it, so now they're just one big room. And the other dining room became a tea room.”

“I—see...?,” Kazuma looked over his shoulder and he could've sworn he saw someone disappear around the corner.

Kazumi seemed to notice his suspicion and spoke up, “The maids still like to gossip.. When they heard of your return I would hear them sometimes. I ended up giving them a talking to because it really pissed me off. They're probably keeping their distance.”

“Oh..,” Kazuma clenched his fist. _Nothing has changed then..._

“Come on, Kazuma. Father is probably waiting inside.”

“Yeah..”

When Kazumi slid open the door, their father was indeed sitting at the table. There were a few maids busying themselves with organizing the food for the brunch.

“Ah, Kazumi. Thank you for bringing Kazuma here,” he spoke. Kazuma felt weird hearing that voice. A part of him almost felt like his dad was putting on an act. He could only ever remember the disappointed tone he had whenever he spoke to him. Everything about this felt fake.

But Kazuma slapped a smile on his face anyways, “Hello, father. It's nice to see you after all this time.” Kazuma wanted to punch himself. He sounded artificial too and it irritated him. Would he have to put on this facade every day when dealing with his dad? “You look.. well.”

“As do you,” his dad said and gestured to the chair across from him at the table. “Have a seat. You too Kazumi.”

“Yes sir,” Kazumi bowed and Kazuma followed suit, shedding his coat before both of them sat themselves at the table. One of the maids brought them cups and a tea pot to pour them all tea. She asked if there was anything in particular that they wanted, but all of them didn't have a preference so she was left to gather any food for them.

“So, Kazuma. Kazumi tells me you're interested in inheriting the family,” his dad went right to business as he took a sip of his tea.

“Uh.. More or less..,” Kazuma didn't meet his eyes and chose to stare at the wall behind him so it still seemed like he was looking at him. “Since Kazumi-oniisama isn't interested and you need someone to inherit it, right?”

“That's right. Do you think you can carry this family?,” his dad was definitely staring hard at Kazuma and it made him ridiculously uncomfortable.

_What kind of question even is that anyways? Of course I don't think I can carry this family and you obviously don't think I could carry this family before now. You're just looking for someone to take over..._ “I hope I can.”

“You'll start studying right away,” his dad set the tea cup down and leaned forward, elbows on the table, hands together, and chin rested on them. “You'll be focusing on business management and international business affairs. It's unfortunate you've already started at Harumi High, but we can initiate a transfer right away.”

“Wh-Whoa wait. A transfer? What for?,” Kazuma was slightly taken aback.

“You need to study somewhere you can focus on these matters. You're only wasting your time at Harumi High,” his dad said a matter-of-factly.

“I.. I....,” Kazuma couldn't even find the words to say, but Kazumi noticed.

“Father, perhaps we could transfer him after this school year,” Kazumi suggested. “He's already in the middle of the year. Let him finish it out so he can have a smooth transition instead of making everything difficult with a sudden transfer.”

“Hmm.. Alright. So as soon as the year is over,” his dad took the bait. “But I fully expect you to begin studying on your own. I'll be making a lesson plan for you shortly.”

“Uh.. Y.. Yes sir..,” Kazuma said, but only loud enough for them to hear. This was all wrong. His dad was completely controlling the situation. He kind of expected it, but he had actually thought his dad had maybe changed. That maybe he actually wanted to get to know Kazuma and learn of his accomplishments. That maybe he realized what he'd done to him and his mom was wrong.

“Very good. Also, I expect you'll be moving back into the household? I suppose your mother could join you as well if you wish her to,” his dad tacked on and it made Kazuma's blood boil. “I assume you won't be moving back in if she isn't with you.”

He didn't look at him. He didn't speak. Kazuma knew if he did, he would say something he would regret, so he just nodded.

“You can also wait till this school year is over for that then since your current home is probably closer to Harumi,” his dad said, basically carrying on the conversation by himself. “I also hope you're keeping your grades up like you always have been. I expect nothing less than perfection as you already know. If you do that, then you'll probably be a decent successor. It's not like I can be picky.”

Kazuma bit down hard on his lip to keep himself from talking. From blowing up. _This man has not changed.. This man has yet to even acknowledge me... This man expects almost nothing from me, but at the same time he expects so much from me..._

“We'll also set you up with marriage interviews,” his dad said and Kazuma nearly choked.

“I beg your pardon?!,” Kazuma knew what he said, but he really hoped he was wrong.

Kazumi intervened frantically, “F-Father, Kazuma's still in high school. It's a bit early to be thinking about tha—”

“No, Kazuma's old enough to know about this! He's going to have to go along with them sooner or later, so we might as well set him up now!!,” their dad slammed his fist on the table which made the brothers flinch. “He needs to marry a respectable girl from a successful family so as to not make a mockery of this family. We need to keep our status up like we always have.”

“Father, you didn't even require that of me,” Kazumi spoke.

“That's because you knew what you were doing!! Now you don't even want to become head of the family, so I need to do this properly with Kazuma since he doesn't know how this works!!,” their dad shouted.

A million and one things ran through Kazuma's mind. He couldn't voice any of them. He knew he couldn't continue like this. Not while his dad kept berating him and not while he would be expected to have—

“An arranged marriage is too far father!,” Kazumi argued.

“It's not arranged! He gets to pick who he'll marry.”

“Out of women that you pick for him!”

“Of course because I don't want him to marry some bimbo off the street!”

“HE CAN PICK A SUITABLE PARTNER HIMSELF!!,” Kazumi slammed his hands on the table with a shout.

“KAZUMA DOESN'T KNOW WHO WOULD BE GOOD FOR THIS FAMILY!!,” their dad shouted back.

“I'M DATING SOMEONE!!,” Kazuma finally exclaimed. He even stood up from his chair.

“Hmpf. That's normal because you're a young man, but surely it isn't anything serious,” his dad laughed and Kazuma felt like punching him. “Just tell me when you get tired of her and I'll get in contact with my acquaintances to find you a suitable girl.”

“I'm not dating a girl,” Kazuma blurted.

“Excuse me?”

“I HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND,” Kazuma spat out. Kazumi looked dumbstruck and his face was immediately masked with worry. He turned slowly to their dad who looked shocked and horribly disgusted.

“You must be joking. You're gay?”

Kazuma gritted his teeth. “Well.. No. I'm bi, so—”

His dad howled with laughter. “Oh I see. You had me going there Kazuma. While I don't necessarily like your decision, I'm glad you've still mostly retained your senses. Just tell me when you're done with this 'bi-curious' phase so that you can move on with your life.”

“Phase?,” Kazuma spoke in a dark tone.

“F-Father, I don't think—”

“Kazuma doesn't actually like men,” their dad waved him off. “Everyone knows that bi doesn't actually exist. It's just a way for heterosexuals to satisfy their curiosity for the same sex. You're either gay or straight. There's nothing to it. And I know he isn't gay.”

“What are you saying? How could you talk like that?,” Kazumi asked him harshly.

“Don't tell me you're gay Kazumi.”

“Wh-What? Well I. I'm certainly not... I don't actually know..,” Kazumi said the last part under his breath; only loud enough for Kazuma to hear him, but it barely processed in his mind.

“Kazuma, quit standing and sit back down,” his dad said.

Kazuma was pretty sure he dissociated for the rest of their meeting and the rest of the day because before he knew it, he was in his bed and it was Sunday morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year's everyone!! Even though this chapter isn't exactly happy, haha..
> 
> I'm surprised I've kept up with this story as long as I have! I have moments where I don't feel like touching it, but other times I'm just like, yes! It's time to go to work!!
> 
> I dunno if I'm sick, but we've been having some extreme temperature changes and my body isn't used to it, so I'm sure my body is as confused as me and is freaking out haha! I hope everyone stays warm!!


	15. Chapter 15

Kazuma fidgeted with his fingers anxiously as he waited in the cafe. He ended up leaving home that morning without telling his mom much of what he was doing before he left. He thinks he told her that he was going to study with Chrono, but he honestly doesn't recall it.

“Hey, Kazuma,” came a familiar voice that mostly melted his worries away. Amu sat herself across from the other. She was dressed in dark blue jegging pants and a black ¾ sleeves shirt. She wore fake glasses and a black snapback hat that said “HERO” in gold acrylic letters on it. Just another of her disguises. “What'd you call me out here for on such short notice? Luckily Luna and I had the day off, but you only wanted to see me?”

“I... dunno.. I just needed someone to talk to.. That isn't Shindou.”

“Oh man.. Did you two get into an argument?”

“Ah.. No. We didn't.. I just..,” Kazuma took a deep breath. “I'll try to keep it short, but I've gotta tell you all of it to have it make sense..”

“I've got all day Kazuma. I'm here for you,” Amu reassured him and put a hand on his.

Kazuma made a sad smile and proceeded to tell her about his family situation and the current situation he was in. Amu listened intently the entire time without interrupting him once. He liked Amu. He really did. She knew how he felt. She understood him better than most. He could trust her.

“Oh boy, Kazuma..,” Amu finally spoke as if she was holding her breath the entire time he talked. “Are you sure this is something you wanna do?”

“I.. I really dunno.. I want to do it.. to have something to do.. instead of just meandering through life without a goal in mind,” Kazuma shrugged and stirred his coffee.

“But if he makes you feel like that, then I don't think this is what you should do,” Amu frowned. “This may seem like the easier path because it gives you something to work towards, but that doesn't mean that it's the right one.”

“But what do I do, Amu??,” Kazuma accidentally raised his voice. She looked surprised, but not hurt. Kazuma just sighed. “I'm sorry..”

“It's okay Kazuma..,” Amu squeezed his hand. “I'm not going to tell you what you should do because you need to decide that for yourself. But I really do think you should think this over more. I thought.. that you loved Chrono-san..”

“L-Love? … I.. I don't know if it's love.. Isn't it too early to know?,” Kazuma rubbed at his temples.

“It's never to early, but it all depends on how you feel..,” Amu answered him with a melancholy tone. He and Amu sat in silence for a while. It didn't feel awkward, but it didn't feel right either.

After a few more minutes of sitting in what eventually became an awkward silence, Amu had to go since Luna needed something. She wished Kazuma good luck with a kiss on his head and Kazuma just felt even worse. _If only I had something I wanted to work towards.. I can't even think of the slightest thing I'm especially interested in pursuing... I like Vanguard, but I'm not really crazy about going pro... I never had much hobbies ever since me and mom got kicked out of the Onimaru family..._ he groaned and let his forehead drop to the table with a thud.

His phone went off and he checked it. He had a ton of notifications from his brother and from Chrono. He felt bad because about not answering Chrono. It wasn't that he was trying to avoid him, he just didn't have anything to say. Or rather he didn't know what to say. All the messages based on the notification previews suggested that Chrono wanted to know how meeting with his dad went. He didn't want to think about it. His brother on the other hand just seemed worried if he was alright and if he still wanted to go through with it. Kazuma honestly didn't know at this point. Right now he just wanted to do nothing for a while.

And he meant it. He skipped school. He didn't stay home because he knew his mom would get on his case, so instead he just took walks around the city. He kept his phone on him just in case his mom called or texted, but he didn't answer or look at any other messages. He didn't have any destination. He just needed to be alone. Unfortunately, wherever he went he felt constricted like he was suffocating.

Kazuma's phone started to ring while he was sitting on a bench in a park that he couldn't recall the name of. The caller id was Chrono and he really wasn't sure if he should pick up, but for some reason he did. “Hello?”

“KAZUMA, WHAT THE HELL?!,” Chrono shouted and Kazuma pulled his head away from the speaker. “It's been a week with no contact from you whatsoever!! And you're not even coming to school! What the hell's wrong?!”

“Sorry. It's nothing. I've just been sick,” he lied. Badly.

“Bullshit.”

Of course Chrono knew.

“You still woulda answered my texts if you were sick. Don't fucking lie to me Kazuma,” his boyfriend spat and he could almost see angry fumes come from the speaker. “...You know I'm here for you no matter what, right?”

Kazuma chewed his lip. “I know...”

“Where are you?”

“It's none of your concern,” Kazuma answered right away.

“The hell it's none of my concern. Kazuma! Don't you dare hang u—”

Kazuma hung up. He felt like throwing up after talking with Chrono. He thought about what his dad said. That it was just a phase. Was it really just a phase? He did like girls. He thought they were beautiful and he loved how they looked, but Chrono had been the only one he'd ever actually fallen for and he was a boy.... But he thought about his future. Kazuma wanted to be able to make his own decisions and he wanted to be able to not worry about what the future held for him. He also really liked Chrono, but what were the chances they would actually stay together? Kazuma's past relationships never worked out. That's right. They never did. This one was bound to fail too. Yeah. Might as well stop it before it got any further.

Kazuma took out his phone and began to type.

ME 12:43PM  
[ Hey, we should stop this... ]

CHRONO SHINDOU 12:43PM  
[ what are you talking about??? ]

ME 12:44PM  
[ Us. ]  
[ We should stop playing around. ]

CHRONO SHINDOU 12:46PM  
[ what??? ]  
[ Kazuma what do you mean??? ]

Kazuma's phone immediately began to ring after that message and he sighed and picked up. “I mean we should break up.”

“WHY?,” Chrono's voice sounded so hurt. It made Kazuma's stomach twist. “Kazuma, what happened? This doesn't make sense.”

“It's just, there's no reason to continue is there?,” Kazuma forced a casual laugh. “We probably won't end up staying together, so might as well stop while we're ahead. We've only been dating for about a month.”

“YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!!,” Chrono shouted. “DON'T GIVE UP BEFORE ANYTHING'S EVEN HAPPENED! ARE YOU GONNA GO BACK TO HOW YOU USED TO BE?!”

Kazuma gritted his teeth. “I'M NOT GIVING UP. I'M TRYING TO MOVE FORWARD. I'm sorry that I lead you on like this, but there really is no future for both of us!! Let it go Shindou. It's only been a month.”

And he hung up.

–

Chrono POV

–

It was lunch break and Chrono left school without even a second thought. His legs took him back to his home, he made a beeline to his room, and threw his bag on the ground. He paced anxiously, bit his thumbnail, chewed his bottom lip, ran his hands through his hair, his breathing getting more and more erratic as he thought about what just happened over and over again.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened up the chat between him, Shion, and Tokoha. He made a ton of typos since his hands started to tremble. In the midst of fixing one of his sentences, there was a drop of water on his phone screen. And then another. And another. Chrono blinked several times and brought a hand up to his cheeks where hot tears trailed down. _Why didn't I agree to meet with Kazuma's mom sooner? That way I could've known where he lived and I could've tried to talk to him._

Chrono doesn't break down. He's never had a break down in his life. He's always had good people to pick him back up when he fell down. It was just Kazuma. It was just Kazuma. It was just... Kazuma. Chrono crumpled to the ground, wiping at his tears with his hands and sleeves, but they didn't stop.

He didn't hear from Kazuma for another three weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the late chapter! I just started up the new semester and I'm trying to find time to not freak out over how much I have to do this spring orz
> 
> Anyways, I think this story will end between 20 to 25 chapters. Somewhere between there. I have up to chapter 18 written so far and I just feel it's coming to its time. Plus I have so many more ideas for KazuChro it's insane.
> 
> Speaking of KazuChro (wow, when am I not talking about KazuChro?) CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE NEWEST EPISODES OF G Z?? In my honest opinion, G Z has been a bit weak compared to other seasons and I didn't understand what they were trying to do for quite a few episodes, but I'm pretty happy with what they did in episode 13 and 14.
> 
> Spoilers for those that haven't seen it yet,
> 
> I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR GYZE TO DIFFRIDE SOMEONE ALL SEASON AND I'M GLAD IT WAS KAZUMA. I'm so so glad it was Kazuma (if ya'll follow me on social media tho idk if anyone on my social media knows I wrote this and I haven't given out my social media to anyone on here haha) but if you some how do follow me on social media I'm sick and twisted and want death and angst and all that good stuff to happen in G Z. It probably won't but I love dark shit and I hope this season gets more and more dark. I also kinda want Chrono to go thru some real shit trauma. And I want try3 to pick him up and support him going thru this loss of Kazuma to Gyze. I want a lot for this season even tho Bushi had made a lot of disappointing choices during most of the season. Tbh the KazuChro is the only thing keeping me going in this season hahaha!!


	16. Chapter 16

Kazuma ended up telling his mom the entire situation after he broke up with Chrono and she didn't question him. She simply understood and took it upon herself to deal with the school for his absences. She told him to take as long as he needed and he wanted to cry at how understanding she was. After another week of being locked in his room, Kazuma realized that he had messed up. He didn't meet with his dad again. He turned off his phone and kept it on his desk. He barely left his room to eat. He barely did anything. Even when his mom gave him his homework from school, he just let them build up in a pile on his desk.

_So much for moving forward and not giving up. I'm back to where I started before I met everyone..._ Kazuma sighed in the darkness of his room. He never felt so alone. He's never had so many people to talk to and enjoy hanging out with that he'd felt so alone in this world. Surely they all hated him. Surely Chrono moved on after realizing Kazuma wasn't worth the fight. He gave up too easily. Surely that must have driven Chrono away. Surely that drove them all away. It's only been a week, but surely they'll all forget about him soon. It was only about half a year they all spent together. Something like that. They would move on. He was only one person.

After another week, Kazuma had begun to leave his room more often. He mostly got tired of his room being messy and felt bad for making his mom deal with his moping. So he clean his room. He cleaned his bathroom. He cleaned the kitchen. He just cleaned their entire home. It was extremely exhausting after having had no energy for a couple of weeks. Although he still felt horrible, at least he didn't feel like a complete bum anymore.

After another few days, on a Tuesday, Kazuma made chicken Parmesan for his mom. Chrono had showed him how to make it... When she came home, she was delighted to see him out and about in their home and even more delighted that he was feeling well enough to cook.

“Thank you so much, baby,” she smiled gently at him and ruffled his hair. “Let's eat, okay?”

“Okay..,” he mumbled.

The two served themselves dinner and sat at the dinner table, munching quietly on their food. Kazuma barely ate. He mostly poked around at the chicken he served himself and would occasionally take a bite. Whenever he would, he'd feel sick, but he still had a goal in mind and he was going to achieve it.

“Mom,” he forced himself to speak up.

“Mmm? Yes Kazuma?,” she stopped mid bite to answer.

“I.. think I feel a bit better.. at least to start going back to school,” Kazuma managed.

“Is that so? You're not forcing yourself just because you feel like you haven't done much?,” she asked with a look of worry. “I told you it's fine if you need a lot of time.”

“I know, but.. I should stop doing this.. I should stop running away..,” Kazuma's throat felt dry. “Even if none of them talk to me when I get back, I shouldn't burden you so much.”

“You're never a burden to me,” his mom said genuinely. “But do you really think they hate you?”

Kazuma shrugged. He honestly didn't know, but something in the back of his mind kept telling him of course they did. He decided to listen to it.

“Well, I'll call the school tomorrow morning to let them know you're going to start again tomorrow. Is that alright?,” she asked.

“Yeah.. Thanks mom..”

“Of course..”

–

After dinner, Kazuma helped clean dishes before he returned to his room. He retrieved his phone from his desk and turned it back on. Once the phone was fully booted up, he had an onslaught of messages. He almost wondered if his phone would never stop vibrating, but it did. 123 text messages, 87 missed calls, and 30 voice messages (since that was the limit) later.

When he checked the missed calls, 37 of them were from Chrono, 13 of them were from Amu and Luna, 12 of them were from his brother, Taiyou, Shion, and Tokoha had each called him 8 times, and Kumi even called him once. As for the voice messages, Chrono left all of them, but only because he probablly filled up Kazuma's voice mail box before anyone else could call him. He wasn't sure if he could handle listening to those. Hearing Chrono's voice. So he avoided it and cautiously opened his text messages.

Almost half of the texts were from Chrono and the other half were split amongst the others. He noticed most of them stopped messaging him within a week. They all were messages like, 'are you okay?', 'what happened?', 'call me soon', 'I'm here for you', 'we're waiting for you', 'we hope you feel better', and things like that which made Kazuma's guilt rise. Amu had actually stuck it out a bit longer, with her most recent message from that past Saturday, telling him that she really hoped nothing bad happened to him and that she's worried sick.

He doesn't know how long he had spent reading all their messages, but they only served to bring him close to tears and rip apart his insides. He saved Chrono's for last for whatever reason. He really wished he hadn't.

CHRONO SHINDOU 3 Weeks ago  
Monday  
[ KAZUMA ANSWER YOUR PHONE ]  
[ whHAT HAPPENED WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME???? ]  
[ fine!! BE THAT WAY ]  
[ YOURE SO FUCKING STUBBORN ]  
[ YOU PISS ME OFF SO MUCH. SEE IF I FUCKING CARE YOU ASSHOLE ]  
—  
Tuesday  
[ … ]  
[ Kazuma.. im really sorry.. ]  
[ Im so sorry ]  
—  
Wednesday  
[ its been like.. 3 days already.. ]  
[ hey Kumi told me yesterday that your mom called you out of school for a while ]  
—  
Thursday  
[ you getting any of these messages? ]  
—  
Friday  
[ I hung out with Taiyou today ]  
[ hes also really worried ]  
[ he tried contacting you but everything went straight to voice message ]  
[ he couldnt even leave a message ]  
[ that was probably my fault ]  
—  
Saturday  
[ Amu told me she hasnt heard from you and that shes been trying to contact you all week ]  
—  
Sunday  
[ according to the school youre just on leave of sickness... ]  
[ im really so sorry ]

CHRONO SHINDOU 2 weeks ago  
Monday  
[ I hope youre okay... ]  
[ Shin-san gave me the week off since I havent been feeling well ]  
—  
Tuesday  
[ I missed school today ]  
[ ive just been feeling really sick ]  
[ please be okay ]  
—  
Thursday  
[ I guess I just needed a couple of days to recover ]  
[ I slept on and off yesterday so Im sorry I couldnt message you ]  
—  
Friday  
[ I dunno how many times ive called you ]  
[ I really miss your voice ]  
—  
Saturday  
[ I know you wanted to break up ]  
[ so youre probably not messaging me cuz you dont want to see me ]  
[ im sorry I really cant let go ]  
[ I just want to know what happened ]

CHRONO SHINDOU 1 week ago  
Monday  
[ I dont care if you dont want to date me anymore ]  
[ ill be a better friend ]  
[ im so sorry ]  
—  
Tuesday  
[ I guess youre still sick ]  
[ I hope you get better soon ]  
—  
Friday  
[ I got slammed with homework the past couple days ]  
[ youll prob have a ton of homework when you get back ]  
[ if you want I could help you with it ]  
—  
Saturday  
[ I dont even know why im still texting ]  
[ ive never done this before ]  
—  
Sunday  
[ it says the texts are going thru ]  
[ is that even true? ]

CHRONO SHINDOU  
Yesterday  
[ I dunno if youre reading these but im sorry ]  
[ again ]  
[ for whatever I did but really ]  
[ im sorry for bothering you with all these texts ]  
[ I felt like if I was persistent enough you would come around like you did before ]  
[ I guess youre done with me ]  
[ im sorry ]

Kazuma didn't know when he started crying, but boy was he crying. He felt horrible. He felt like his entire world crashed around him. Chrono didn't give up. Chrono kept trying to contact him. But from the looks of that last text, maybe he was finally done? Kazuma, shakily pulled up his gallery to the album of selfies the two took together. Most of them were saved photos from Chrono, but there was one that he did take himself and it was at the planetarium where he kissed Chrono's cheek. Kazuma was surprised he was able to take that photo well since he had quickily pecked Chrono's cheek. The other was still smiling because Kazuma caught it before he even realized Kazuma kissed him.

He missed Chrono. He missed everyone. He wanted to know what was wrong with himself. Why couldn't he just stop being depressed? Why couldn't depression leave him alone? Was he cursed with unhappiness for the rest of his life? Why was Chrono still trying? He's had to deal with his damn depression so many times. How has it not driven him away yet? Kazuma cried himself to sleep that night.

–

Kazuma woke up with a headache the next morning, but he knew he had to get ready for school. After all, he said he was going to go back and he wasn't going to chicken out. That didn't stop him from being cautious and checking every corner in case Chrono was around it. He safely made it to his classroom without confronting the other.

“Sh-Shouji-kun?!,” exclaimed a familiar voice. Kazuma prickled at it and he turned to see Kumi covering her mouth with her hands and her eyes already started to water. She walked over to him and sniffled. “Sh-Sho.. Shooouuji-kuuun!!,” she cried and held him, much to Kazuma's surprise.

“O-Okazaki..?,” Kazuma some how spoke.

“W-WE.. We were all so worried about you!!,” Kumi cried into his shoulder. Kazuma looked around at everyone else in class pretending they weren't paying attention, but he could tell there were whispers.

“Okazaki... c-calm.. calm down.”

“Amu-chan and Luna-chan are really sad!!,” Kumi pulled away. Her cheeks and nose were red and she still cried. “Tokoha-chan and Shion-kun don't know how to talk to Chrono-kun.. Ah!! Chrono-kun! He's.. he's.. He always looks so tired..”

“What do you..”

“Every day at lunch, he invites me to eat and before he joins me, his eyes are always red and puffy looking.. He sometimes dozes off in the middle of our conversations and he doesn't talk very much..,” Kumi wiped at her eyes. “He-He just tells me.. that he's been busy and tired with school and work, but.. He's never looked that way before..”

“O..oh..,” Kazuma really didn't have any words.

“Is it true Shouji-kun..,” Kumi wept quietly, her tears seemed to slow down. “Did you break up with Chrono-kun?”

“I.....,” Kazuma looked down. He still had a headache. He didn't know how to handle Kumi crying to him before class. He couldn't stand the idea of Chrono crying over him. He couldn't stand himself for doing this to all of them. “I didn't mean to...”

Kumi suddenly looked panicked and hugged him again. “D-don't cry Shouji-kun!!! If you didn't, then we'll fix it all with Chrono-kun! Do you want to see him?”

“I.. not.. not yet..,” Kazuma admitted, but Kumi nodded just as the bell rang and their teacher walked in. She went back to her seat and Kazuma released a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

–

The day dragged on. His teachers seemed to drone on and on and Kazuma almost forgot that he had a ton of homework he still hadn't done for all these classes along with the new work he'd be given. He really hated himself for this. 

When lunch rolled around, Kazuma didn't go to the usual place he and Chrono ate lunch. If Chrono still went there to eat with Kumi, he didn't feel like it was right to just show up there. He didn't know if that was the right thing to do if he even ended up running into Chrono, so he ate lunch in the classroom, but it's not like he ate very much of his food.

Kazuma took a lot of time doing his end of day cleaning duties. He just needed to think. As if he didn't do that a lot already, but he needed to think some more. He'd some how successfully avoided Chrono all day. Not that it was especially hard since they had different classes and he stayed in the classroom for most of the day to avoid accidentally running into him. Kazuma just didn't know what he would do or say if he saw him. Would Chrono talk to him? No. Would he even acknowledge him? Kazuma's chest squeezed painfully at the thought of Chrono ignoring him. Pretending everything between them had never happened. His head started to throb and he felt like throwing up.

Most everyone had already either gone home or were in club activities, but that didn't keep him from looking around every corner for the familiar curly red hair. With the coast clear, Kazuma managed to keep whatever was in his stomach down to get to his shoe locker. He felt uncomfortable as he opened the locker. His heart beat loudly and painfully against his chest. His headache got worse and he felt mildly short of breath.

“Kazuma?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE ANOTHER CHAPTER.
> 
> I'm just really motivated to do a lot (tho I wish I was more motivated to do my homework HAHAHA!! I did a little bit of homework tonight haha). Also I know last chapter I said this would go on to between chapters 20-25, but I changed up a lot in a couple of chapters that I had already written, so it might end on ch 19 or 20!! Thank you so much for all the support on this story! I'm so glad I've been working on it!!
> 
> Also, I love all the KazuChro content that's been bubbling up everywhere thanks to Episode 14. Thank you Bushiroad. I'm really really happy. I've been so in love with these boys for a while and this is just the best. 2018 isn't bad!!


	17. Chapter 17

Ch 17

Kazuma felt frozen when he heard his name in that voice. His body went numb. He couldn't feel anything. After what felt like forever, he somehow managed to turn to face Chrono. He had to blink a few times to actually see him, but he didn't like what he saw. Chrono's eyes were wide with fear, but they were also reddish and the dark circles under his eyes were incredibly noticeable. Kazuma's shortness of breath came back like a punch in the gut.

“K-Kazuma? Are you—”

Kazuma gasps grew louder. He couldn't hear Chrono anymore. Suddenly he felt hands on him and it freaked him out, causing him to shove them away. He thought he shouted something, but he couldn't really remember. Instead he looked up to see horror in Chrono's face. _I feel like dying I don't want to die I'm so scared what do I do BREATHE I can't breathe BREATHE I can't breathe I can't breathe Ican'tbreatheIcan'tbreatheICAN'TBREATHE????!!!_

“K—??! —zuma!!!”

He hugged himself and fell to his knees. His entire body trembled. He felt hands on him again and tried to shove them away, but this time they struggled with him and rubbed his back.

“...zuma.... Kazuma..,” came a gentle voice. “... fine.. It's..... You'll be—... fine.. You'll be fine... I'm here, okay? Breathe in and out,” Kazuma knew it was Chrono.. But recognizing it was something completely different. “It'll be over soon. We could play Vanguard after this, alright? We haven't played in a while. I think I might be a bit rusty, but I'm sure that's something that we could fix, right?”

It felt a little easier to breathe. Kazuma shut his eyes and just listened to Chrono's voice.

“It's alright.. Nothing's wrong.”

_You're fine nothing's wrong._

“I'll walk you home after this.”

_You'll be home soon._

“And I'll make you dinner.”

_He'll be there when you get home._

“Shh.. Breathe..”

_Breathe._

“Breathe..”

_He'll hold your hand again._

“Breathe...”

_He'll smile at you again._

“Breathe.”

_They'll all forgive you..._

“Kazuma..?,” came a gentle voice.

He could breathe again, although he was still breathing a bit heavily. His body felt exhausted. His head didn't hurt as bad, but he felt a bit dizzy. He felt like he had just run a marathon and suffered heat exhaustion. But eventually he opened his eyes and found teary green eyes.

“Shindou...”

Chrono moved to touch his cheek, but hesitated a moment before he pulled away. Kazuma longed for that touch.

“Do.. you need help getting up?,” Chrono asked.

Kazuma moved to stand up straight and almost fell doing so. Chrono was about to catch him, but he caught himself so the other backed off. Kazuma wanted to puke. “I.. can walk..”

“Alright.. Let me walk you home then.. okay?”

Kazuma just nodded.

–

The walk home was the most uncomfortable thing Kazuma had ever experienced. They walked together, but there was a fair amount of distance between them. He wanted so badly to say something, but he couldn't find the words. He was never good at just talking about his feelings with anyone aside from his mom. And even then, there were things that he couldn't talk with her about. Instead, his mind felt blank even though thoughts seemed to flood into them. He focused on the tapping of their shoes on the ground as they took each step, the low hum of city sounds as they passed by various buildings and people, and the sounds of his own breathing and heartbeat.

It felt like it took hours to get to his home. He dug around for his keys in his bag for a second before unlocking the door and opening it. “Come on in..”

“Pardon the intrusion,” Chrono said quietly.

Kazuma toed off his shoes at the entrance and Chrono did the same. He followed Kazuma as he made his way to his room. Kazuma placed his bag on his desk and sat on his bed while Chrono put his bag by the door of his room and just stood in the middle of his room while Kazuma hid his face in his hands. It felt wrong. Walking with Chrono felt wrong. Talking with Chrono felt wrong. Just Chrono felt wrong and Kazuma didn't know how to fix it. He didn't like that he felt wrong around him. He wanted it to go back to how it was before. He craved Chrono's light. He craved it so much.

“Is it alright if I make food?,” Chrono finally spoke up.

“O-Oh..,” Kazuma picked up his head from his hands. “Yeah. Sure..”

“Nice,” Chrono continued to stand there. He rubbed his arm awkwardly. “Do you wanna help me?”

Kazuma looked up at him. His green eyes looked tired. Sad. Fearful. Anxious. He wondered if he was making up everything that he saw in them. That maybe it was his mind just making him see that and that he didn't actually understand Chrono at all.

“You don't have to,” Chrono suddenly added.

“N-No! I'll help,” Kazuma said. “It's my home. I'd feel bad for making you do everything yourself.”

Chrono nodded and the two of them left his room to prepare some food in the kitchen. Chrono inspected the food they had and decided on chicken tempura and vegetable stir fry. They did so quietly. Not much interaction aside from when Kazuma would ask what he had to do and Chrono would instruct him. Carefully. Almost as if he were to touch Kazuma they would burn each other. It left Kazuma uneasy.

“... When does your mom get home?,” Chrono asked all of a sudden while finishing up the stir fry.

Kazuma had just placed the plate of chicken tempura on the dinner table when he asked. “Around 8pm... She texted me during lunch that she'll have to stay late..”

“Oh..”

He didn't really speak again after that. The two set out plates and served themselves. Both muttered “itadakimasu” quietly before eating. Kazuma really didn't feel hungry. He pushed around his food and occasionally took a bite, but every bite he took made his stomach feel heavier and he was worried he might actually throw it all up. When Kazuma looked at Chrono, he noticed the other almost scarfing down his food. He could tell he was trying to maintain composure, but... why was he so hungry?

“Shindou..,” Kazuma put his chopsticks down. “Have you been eating?”

Chrono froze and swallowed what he had in his mouth. He smiled up at Kazuma. Kazuma hated that smile. It was so obviously forced. “Yeah, of course. But I missed breakfast today cause I woke up late and I was busy finishing late work during lunch that I didn't really think about eating.”

“I didn't mean today,” Kazuma pressed.

“Course I've been eating,” Chrono answered a bit too quickly. “Geez, you're not my mom, Kazuma.”

“Shindou, take off your shirt.”

“Wh-What the hell? No!”

“You're lying to me,” Kazuma clenched a fist. Then he moved to Chrono which caused the other to get up and try to get away from him.

“Kazuma, get away from me!,” Chrono backed away. “I'm fine!”

“Bullshit..,” Kazuma growled under his breath and grabbed at him. Chrono dodged him the first time, but the second time Kazuma caught him. He grabbed his wrists and wrestled him to the ground.

“Kazuma, what the hell! Let go!,” Chrono struggled. Significantly weaker than Kazuma remembered. Chrono usually had almost no problem matching Kazuma's strength when it mattered. So Kazuma just tuned out his shouts and pulled at his shirt, not bothering with the buttons that popped off.

“Shin..dou...”

Chrono was a naturally thin kid. He had muscle, but it wasn't so defined. But he was always healthy. So.. being able to tell how much thinner he'd gotten was.. terrifying. His ribs were noticeable whereas before they weren't. It almost made sense that he looked exhausted all the time. Kazuma's grip loosened on the other and Chrono moved to cover himself.

“S..stop..,” he choked. “Stop....”

“Shindou, why..”

“Nothing happened..”

“This is my fault.”

“No! No don't blame yourself!,” Chrono said hurriedly. He sat up and threw his arms around Kazuma with no hesitation this time. “No.. No it's not your fault. Everything's fine. You're fine.”

“I made you do this..,” Kazuma gasped. He wondered when he started crying.

“I did this to myself. I shouldn't have. Don't blame yourself,” Chrono rubbed his back. It helped him calm down.. It was a familiar feeling. “I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry Kazuma..”

“Wh-Why do you care so much?,” Kazuma clung onto him and cried into his chest. “All I've done... is c-cause so many issues..”

“Because.. You're one of the most important people in my life,” Chrono continued to rub his back.

“I'm s-ssss-sorry... I'm so sorr..sorry..”

“Shhh, no.. Don't apologize,” Chrono laughed quietly, but then Kazuma heard him sniffle. “Ahh... I was just scared.. That you might've...”

Kazuma's crying quieted down a bit as he listened to Chrono's quiet sobs in between hiccups of awkward giggles. “S-Sure.. You worried me.. a-a lot.. But I just mostly... didn't feel so hungry... I-If I a-ate too much. I felt sick...,” Chrono's words broke the more he spoke. He took a few deep breaths, but he didn't stop rubbing Kazuma's back. “I just wish that I could've been there for you.. That I could.. could've.. helped you th-through this.. But I couldn't..”

“That's not your fault,” Kazuma said. “I don't think that I could ever stop trying to push you and everyone else away.. I'm sorry...”

Kazuma didn't want to pull away. His back rubs provided so much comfort to him, but he needed to see his face. So he did pull away. Chrono's face was a mess. Tears continued to fall from his eyes, his nose was dripping, his cheeks were red, his brows were knitted together, and his lip and jaw trembled. Kazuma brought a hand up to his face and wiped at his tears with his thumbs, only for those tears to be replaced by more. Then, this idiot just smiled. But.. It was real even though it looked a bit sad.

“Why are you smiling?,” Kazuma asked.

“I dunno..,” Chrono laughed and put a hand on top of Kazuma's. “Why aren't you?”

“I dunno..,” Kazuma blinked a couple of times before he felt himself crack a small smile. He hid his face in the crook of Chrono's neck. “Gods... I hate this so much.”

“Mmm..,” Chrono hummed, sniffling some more. “You know.. what happened this past month doesn't matter to me. I barely remember most of it honestly. What matters is that you're still here. And.. maybe you're not okay.. Maybe we're not okay... But I think.. that as long as we can support each other.. that would be enough..”

–

Yuki Shouji POV

–

“Kazuma! I'm home—oh?,” Yuki noticed an extra pair of shoes when she shut the front door. “Kaz? Is there someone else here?”

Yuki made her way to the living room and noticed Kazuma's hair but also red hair. She moved closer to see her son and another boy fast asleep. Kazuma had his arms wrapped around the other while the red head had his face buried in his chest. Yuki smiled and left them quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I worked really hard on this chapter! I ended up rewriting it three times and then doing a lot of revisions to it, but I think I'm finally happy with it in accordance to where I want this story to go! Thank you all for the support as usual!


	18. Chapter 18

Kazuma woke up to the smell of something really good. He couldn't really put his finger on it, but the scents attacked his nose and he suddenly felt hungry. Something in his arms shifted and he eased his eyes open to come face to face with Chrono's peaceful sleeping face. He still looked exhausted, but he at least looked calm. Kazuma tucked a tuft of Chrono's hair out of his face and behind his ear which made the red head stir and open his eyes slowly.

“Hi..,” Chrono whispered.

“Hey..,” Kazuma also whispered.

“What smells good?,” Chrono mumbled as he buried his face in the crook of Kazuma's neck. His breath tickled the sensitive skin there.

“Mom must be home..,” Kazuma mumbled and closed his eyes.

Until he realized what he said.

“MOM MUST BE HOME!!,” he sat up immediately which made Chrono groan in discomfort. “WHAT TIME IS IT???”

“Hi Kaz!,” Kazuma's mom greeted from the kitchen. “You two hurry up and eat! Since I assume you both hadn't showered yet, considering you slept in your uniforms, eat quick so you can shower and not be late to school!”

Chrono sat up irritatedly. “Warn me before you do that again,” he grumbled. His bed head was fantastic and Kazuma had to stifle a laugh before he remembered he had his mom to deal with.

“M-Mom! I'm sorry! I should've mentioned that—”

“Kazuma.”

Kazuma flinched at the tone of voice she had.

“You're such a bad host Kazuma. You haven't even introduced me to your... _friend_ ,” his mom put emphasis on friend.

“O-Oh.. Well...”

“Get off the couch and come into the kitchen,” she instructed him.

“But—ugh.. Fine,” Kazuma sighed. Chrono gave him a jokingly judgmental look and Kazuma shoved him lightly for it. “Fix your damn hair. You look like a bird's nest.”

“Shut up,” Chrono laughed and brushed through his curls with his fingers. Kazuma helped to tidy up his hair a bit and then the two made their way to the kitchen where Kazuma's mom was setting up food at the dinner table.

“Ahh! So much food!,” Kazuma exclaimed at the feast set out on the table for breakfast. “Isn't this a bit much?”

“Nonsense. We have a guest over,” his mom gave him a thumbs up. “Anyways, I've waited long enough Kaz! So, introduce me.”

“Uh-uhm.. Mom.. this is.. Shindou... Shindou this is.. my mom,” Kazuma did so awkwardly.

“It's so nice to meet you Shouji-san,” Chrono bowed.

“Oh, please! Call me Yuki!,” Kazuma's mom waved at him.

“Yuki-san then!,” Chrono stood up straight. His cheeks were a bit red.

“So.. this is the famous Chrono-kun. I've been wanting to meet you for so long!,” Yuki smiled genuinely, but it fell a little bit. “Chrono-kun. Thank you... Thank you for being by Kazuma's side. He's opened up so much since meeting you.”

“M-Mom..,” Kazuma looked away. “Stop..”

“No, Kazuma. I really do owe him a lot. I'm glad you're always looking happier,” Yuki put a hand on her cheek. “And since he's here.. I assume the two of you made up?”

“Ah.. I.. I suppose we did,” Chrono scratched at his head. Before Kazuma could say more, Chrono spoke up again. “Yuki-san! I'll take better care of him!!,” Chrono sat and bowed with his forehead touching the ground. It surprised mother and son duo. “I'll look after him and stay by his side!! This won't happen again! So.. if it's okay... I really would like to have your approval.”

“Shindou...,” Kazuma stared down at him. Chrono looked up at him and it made him heat up like crazy.

Yuki put her hand to her mouth in surprise, but started to laugh a bit. “Oh, Chrono-kun, please! Please stand up.”

“A-Ah.. are you.. sure?,” Chrono straightened up again.

“I'm glad.. I'm so glad that you still like my Kazuma,” Yuki smiled again. “I'd really appreciate it if you could look after him. He really has gone through so much though, Chrono-kun. I wish I could do more for him, but I know that you'll be able to do things for him that I can't. Please do take good care of him.”

“I promise,” Chrono smiled.

“Thank you,” Yuki put a hand on his shoulder. “Now! I already ate since I have to open the building with my boss today for work. You two eat up and clean yourselves up before school.”

“Wh-What time is it?,” Kazuma asked.

“It's 6:23am,” Yuki checked her phone. “I was surprised you two woke up before I left, but I guess it makes sense since you fell asleep before I even got home.”

“Ah.. yeah,” Chrono laughed.

“Don't be late to school!,” Yuki pointed at her son, but then ruffled his hair and kissed his head. She picked up her bag that was on the table before heading to the front door.“I love you, Kaz. And it was lovely meeting you Chrono-kun.”

“It was nice to meet you, too,” Chrono waved at her.

“Bye mom. See you tonight,” Kazuma sighed with a wave as she waved at them again after she put on her shoes and left.

The two returned to the kitchen, sat at the table, and said “Itadakimasu” before serving themselves some food.

“What did you mean.. when you said you wanted my mom's approval?,” Kazuma asked while he grabbed a grilled fish with his chopsticks.

Chrono set down the bowl of rice he was serving himself before he answered. “I meant it when I said I wanted to stay by your side.. I don't mind how, but as long as I can. If you still want to..”

Kazuma pushed his food around on his plate mindlessly. “I'm going to prove it..”

“Hmm? Prove what?”

“Prove that I can be by your side.”

“Kazuma, I want to be with you. You don't have to prove anything to me,” Chrono said to him.

Kazuma put his chopsticks down and ran a hand through his hair with a heavy sigh. _No... Shindou.. You don't understand.._ “Is it really alright?”

“It is,” Chrono reassured him. His eyes were full of determination. It was similar to the look he'd given him some months ago when he entrusted Kazuma to beat that criminal Vanguard player.

_It's not._ “Okay.”

–

“Okazaki,” Kazuma said to the pinked haired girl after the end of their first class that day.

“Oh!! Shouji-kun!,” Kumi clapped her hands together. “You look much better today! Were you able to talk to Chrono-kun?”

“Yes... Yeah. I was,” Kazuma smiled gently at her. “You joining us for lunch?”

“Oh! Is it alright? Usually you and Chrono-kun eat by yourselves. I couldn't impose.”

“No, it's fine. You're one of our friends after all,” Kazuma said.

Kumi smiled up at him. It made his heart skip a beat. She was cute. “Thank you Shouji-kun! I'd love to have lunch with you two!!”

–

Kazuma got on his hands and knees and bowed. Most of their friends were free that weekend, so Chrono helped to round everyone up at Card Capital while it was empty. The group consisted of Taiyou, Rummy Labyrinth, Kumi, Shion, and Tokoha over video chat.

“I'm sorry,” Kazuma said clearly.

“Get up Kazuma,” came Amu's voice. He looked up and she shook her head with a small smile. “You don't have to apologize.”

“But..,” he sat up, clenching his fists. “I made all of you worry for nothing.”

“Kazuma-kun, it's alright,” Tokoha said. “But, could you stand up? I can't see you.”

“R-Right.”

“Anyways, you don't have to apologize like Amu said,” Tokoha smiled at him. “Yeah we were worried, but we weren't worried for nothing. You were going through a lot. It's unfortunate we couldn't be by your side.”

“It might be asking a lot to come to us whenever you're feeling that way, but we're here to support you,” Shion put a hand on his shoulder.

“That's right Kazuma-san!,” Taiyou chimed in. “You don't have to be alone anymore! We're a team, remember?”

Kazuma laughed a bit. _How are they all so forgiving?_ “Yeah, I know.”

“We all love you Kazuma-kun!,” Luna took his hand in her hands. “Amu and I love you very much!”

“Ahh... I.. don't know what to say,” Kazuma brought a hand to his face to try and hide his blush, but instead everyone just laughed. _Am I allowed to be so happy?_ “You all suck..”

“Sure, but you're stuck with us cause we're not gonna leave you alone,” Chrono put an arm around him. “Especially not me.”

Kazuma's eyes watered and he hung his head. _This must be okay, right?_ “Thanks..”

“Kazuma-san, are you crying?,” Taiyou asked.

“Ugh, shut up..,” Kazuma wiped at his eyes.

“You can cry Kazuma!!,” Chrono laughed.

“We're gonna go pick up some food to celebrate!,” Kumi said as she, Luna, and Amu left.”

“Man, I wish I were there!,” Tokoha sighed. “Oh, by the way. I'll be coming home soon.”

“What?!,” Chrono and Shion said simultaneously.

“Yeah! My brother said that they might have some information for us,” Tokoha mentioned. “You'll probably hear from Ibuki and possibly Onimaru-san.”

The boys looked amongst each other and nodded.

“When are you coming back?,” Shion asked.

“Next weekend,” Tokoha said.

Kazuma's phone vibrated and he pulled it out to check. “It's my brother.”

“Oh? Do you think it's...,” Chrono peeked at the message as Kazuma opened it.

“Hm.. It's about the Onimaru family stuff..,” Kazuma scoffed. “He says my father is still fine with me.. I dunno the details of it though.. And my brother also says he doesn't want me to do it.”

“I don't want you to do it either,” Chrono said sternly.

“... Don't worry, I'm cutting him out of my life for good..,” Kazuma said. “I have a feeling I might get worse if I keep in touch with him.”

“Good.. But I do think you should meet up with Onimaru-san.”

“I'll do that tomorrow..,” Kazuma agreed. “Maybe I can ask him about the diffrider situation.”

“Let us know,” Shion said.

“Of course,” Kazuma nodded.

“Alright, I'm gonna see you guys next week then,” Tokoha said. “Don't cause too much trouble before I get back!”

“Bye Tokoha! Be safe,” Chrono waved and the others did the same. Tokoha waved back and logged off. Soon after, Chrono's phone went off and he pulled up a message. “It's from Ibuki.”

“I guess everything has finally begun,” Shion sighed.

“Looks like it,” Chrono nodded.

“Shindou..,” Kazuma nudged at him.

“Hm? What's up?”

“Could we talk later?”

–

“See you guys later!,” Chrono and Kazuma waved at the group after closing up Card Capital 2. The girls had returned earlier with food for all of them to have a bit of a celebration and they ended up staying a bit later than expected. Now it was just Chrono and Kazuma. They just watched as everyone walked away in the cold. Their breath visible as it left their mouths. It was still cold.

“So, what did you wanna talk about?,” Chrono asked Kazuma as soon as everyone was out of earshot.

Kazuma bit his lip and avoided Chrono's eyes. “Could we.. Could we wait?”

“But, you're the one that wanted to talk?”

“No.. I mean. Could we wait... on us?,” Kazuma clarified. His hands trembled—probably not just because it was cold—and his chest hurt. He'd thought it over a lot. Not because he didn't want to be with Chrono. No. He wanted to be with him. Everything about Chrono made him feel better, but... it also didn't make him feel great.

“Why?”

Chrono had always done as much as he could for him. Chrono even returned Kazuma's feelings when he wasn't sure exactly how he felt. He helped him find a passion in Vanguard again. He helped him stand back up on his own two feet again. He helped him find friends again. He helped him to find a reason to keep living again. But what had he done for Chrono? Given him a few kisses and a whole bunch of heartache and worry.

“I just want us to focus on the diffriders,” Kazuma answered. “I don't believe we'll be distractions towards each other, but this is bigger than just the two of us.”

Kazuma wanted to be proud to stand next to Chrono. He didn't want to feel like he constantly held him back. He didn't want to feel like he needed Chrono in order to be happy. Chrono made him happy, but to be happy without being so dependent. It sounded so nice.

“... Alright.”

Kazuma let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

“But, could I ask you for something?,” Chrono looked him in the eye seriously.

“Uhm.. Sure?,” Kazuma blinked. A bit confused.

“Can I kiss you?”

That wasn't something he was expecting. But Chrono's green eyes shown in the street light the stood under. There was a certain sadness in them. It tore at Kazuma's insides, but he felt like for once this was the right thing to do. At least until they dealt with the diffriders. Kazuma really had a good feeling about after all of this. He would fight his hardest and he would win. He would make sure that no one would have to go through anything so horrible. It wasn't going to be easy, but he felt something. Like a fire.

“Please..”

Chrono was aggressive. He tangled his fingers in Kazuma's hair and kissed him hard. Kazuma kissed back. He opened his mouth, letting the other's tongue lick his own and he moaned quietly.

Hot.

Kazuma let himself be pushed against the cold wall of the Card Captial building.

Rough.

Chrono pulled away to kiss at his jaw and then his neck.

Tender.

Kazuma tilted his head up so Chrono could suck at his neck. He opened his eyes to gaze up at the darkened sky.

Cruel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys! I hit a bit of a writer's block, but also got a bit busy with school. Already about a month into the semester, that's crazy!!
> 
> Anyways, I hope this chapter was alright. I think some things were a bit everywhere, but I feel like if I dwelled on it too much it would never get released. I mostly ended up changing a lot in the past couple chapters to have it coincide a bit more with the anime cause I like the stuff that had happened with Kazuma so far (Though Bushiroad is STILL REALLY TESTING ME. Give me good story & chara development again Bushi COME ON).
> 
> Anyways, the next chapter will be the last chapter. I'm really excited for that chapter!!
> 
> Thank you all for the support as always~


	19. [ FINAL ]

Kazuma could barely hear Taiyou's words. It was mostly garbled. All he could think about was that Chrono was probably fighting Noa... No, he was fighting Chaos Breaker Dragon. It was Chrono. He would win. He beat Chaos Breaker before and he could do it again. So why... Why did he feel so uneasy about it?

–

Kazuma took a moment to process what Karl told him through tear filled eyes. He felt like he must've said something to comfort him along with Kei, the Great Nature user. But he dropped to his knees on the spot Karl told him that Chrono and Tsuneto disappeared. He stared at the ground.

_Huh.. What.. is this..?_

Kazuma's fingertips grazed the dirt carefully. He could vaguely hear Taiyou's voice... Was he on the phone? Kazuma dug his fingernails into the dirt.

_Why was this happening?_

Kazuma felt short of breath. It was a familiar feeling. When did he last feel this? He began to gasp louder and louder as he clawed at his neck. Again.. Again he couldn't breathe. He was terrified.

_Why did it have to be Shindou?_

–

Kazuma had been on auto pilot for a few days. He couldn't really remember much. He remembers that Taiyou had recently also been kidnapped and now for some reason he sat with his brother who got them some food. He wasn't really hungry, but he mindlessly ate the fries given to him as a way to distract himself. He just needed his body to do something. His brother wouldn't leave his side. He even began picking him up every morning which kind of irritated him at first, but then again, he could understand why Kazumi was so worked up.

–

Kazuma lost to Dumjid. Although it was quite the blow, a part of him wondered if he could now reunite with everyone. With Taiyou. With Chrono. He wandered in Relics until he came across a door that he opened easily. Behind it was Chrono and the rest and they were just... cardfighting. A part of him wasn't sure if he should be mad at how relaed they were or if he should be relieved that they were all okay.

“Shindou?”

The red head turned to him and his face immediately lit up. He strode over with a grin on his face and Kazuma almost cried as he explained to him that they were just taking a break.

“Idiot...,” Kazuma mumbled and rested his head on Chrono's shoulder. Chrono rubbed his back tenderly.

–

Kazuma was horrified at the sight before him. He beat the Relic's spawn of his brother. To his understanding, everyone else won, right? Chrono shouted out to him and Taiyou. His mark glowed brightly. Fully. Kazuma couldn't hear Chrono's shouts. He couldn't even hear his own, but he reached out to him nonetheless.

_Don't do this... Don't let it be him..._

–

Kazuma listened to the phone ring anxiously. It felt like forever before Chrono picked up.

“Kazuma..? What's up?,” came his voice. He was obviously exhausted.

“Shindou...,” Kazuma almost couldn't find his voice. “Are you okay?”

“Mmm.. I'm fine,” Chrono spoke a bit louder. Probably trying to mask how he really felt. It made Kazuma feel sick.

“Good.. That's good...,” Kazuma whispered.

He cried himself to sleep that night. He's not really sure when he fell asleep, but he had a pounding headache the next morning. If he looked miserable, his brother didn't say anything about it when he saw him.

–

Kazuma wouldn't let them get to Chrono. He had a bad feeling ever since he and Taiyou saw what happened in Relics. He felt all kinds of emotions when he came face to face with Chaos Breaker. Determination, worry, anxiety, fear, but most of all... Rage.

“I won't let you touch a single swirly hair on his head,” Kazuma spoke darkly. He almost didn't recognize his own voice.

“Stand up—”

“—Zeto—”

“—Vanguard!!”

–

Kazuma was stunned speechless when he revealed his 6th damage. He lost. His heart beat so hard his chest hurt. His ears rang. His body trembled. He lost, but for some reason... he felt so relieved. Upon meeting Chrono, he chased and chased him, wanting to catch up to him, but most of all, wanting to stand next to him. It seemed impossible, but Chrono always treated him as an equal and it's amazing how much his attention fed into Kazuma's desire. Even accepting his feelings, Kazuma still felt like he was the one chasing after Chrono.

Kazuma knew he messed up. He was causing more issues for Chrono to clean up again because he wasn't good enough and he couldn't do anything right. That's why he broke up with Chrono. That's why he couldn't be with Chrono. But that's also probably why he felt relieved. Because now, Chrono wouldn't be diffridden by Gyze. Instead, he would chase after Kazuma. He would chase after him and Kazuma would be number one in his mind. At least Kazuma would like to think so. It was selfish to think that way, but was it so wrong to want to be someone's number one? He'd spent years and years never being able to be at the top. Never being good enough. He still wasn't even good enough to help everyone, but at least maybe he'd be everyone's number one priority for once. He'd be Chrono's number one for once. He wanted to relish in the feeling. After all, it wouldn't last long. Because Kazuma wasn't strong. That means it wouldn't be hard for them to win. It wouldn't be hard for him—for Chrono—to win.

_You wouldn't lose..._

_Right..._

_Chrono?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY THE LAST CHAPTER. I'm so sorry it took a long time to update. I got extremely busy with school and honestly, I'm still busy, but I really wanted to finish this chapter because I felt bad for leaving you all hanging!
> 
> Sorry that it was mostly just from the anime, but I felt it was a good time to kind of see how Kazuma was dealing with things. I imagined it was really hard for him, especially because of how much he cares about Chrono, canonly in love or not. And I still imagine that Kazuma is still really dependent on Chrono and that he really craves affection and a want to be someone's priority. In the anime, I really loved that they put emphasis on him wanting to do something for Chrono because Chrono had done so much for him, but I imagine that finally being the priority feels really nice.
> 
> Thanks for reading my story! I'd love to write more, but I'm definitely taking a bit of a break! This is the longest thing I've ever wrote and this is the only written work I've ever finished!! I hope to come back after this semester with more fun beautiful KazuChro stories!! Maybe I'll get to write some small drabbles here and there when I have time!
> 
> I love all of you beauties~
> 
> My twitter is dragheartluard if you wanna follow and chat I guess? I'm pretty active on there!


End file.
